You have checked your phone three times in ten minutes. They still have not replied. Suddenly, one message feels like a referendum on your entire future.
Wanting a relationship is understandable. But trying to control every possibility can leave you exhausted before a relationship even begins.
Trust is not switching off your judgment
Proverbs 3:5–6 calls us to trust the Lord wholeheartedly rather than making our own understanding the final authority. The same book values wisdom, counsel and careful choices. Trust does not mean refusing to think.
For your love life, this can mean bringing your hopes to God while paying attention to how people actually behave. Someone saying “God told me we should marry” does not remove your responsibility to discern, ask questions or say no.
These verses promise God’s guidance, not a particular spouse or a trouble-free dating story. You can trust him without pretending you know how your future will unfold.
Take wise steps with open hands
You can accept an introduction, join a healthy community or get to know someone intentionally. Initiative is not the enemy of faith. Manipulation is a different matter.
Do not pressure someone to choose you, manufacture jealousy or ignore your convictions because waiting feels uncomfortable. A relationship worth pursuing should not require abandoning honesty or treating another person as a project.
Ask a trusted Christian who knows you well: “What am I missing here?” Be willing to hear something other than the answer you hoped for.
Let today be a real life
You do not need to spend every quiet evening rehearsing who your future spouse might be. Build friendships, practise generosity, develop your gifts and make room for joy.
If you hope to marry, pray for wisdom and character—yours and theirs. Then release the parts you cannot manage: another person’s feelings, a deadline, the outcome of every conversation.
Following Jesus is something you can do now. You do not need an engagement announcement before your life becomes useful to God.
Reflect
- Where has intentional dating become anxious control?
- Whose wise counsel have I been avoiding?
Prayer
Lord, guide my choices and steady my heart. Help me recognise what is wise, honour your Word and release outcomes I cannot control. In Jesus’ name, amen.
One step today
Choose one phone-free hour and use it for a friendship, responsibility or activity that helps you live well today.
MUSIC BY REV. DUNAMIS
Let the message become music
Keep your heart encouraged. Choose an album and enjoy all 10 songs right here.
Sounds of Mercy
Songs of mercy, faith and breakthrough.
Before You Say “I Do” — SINGLES
Wisdom for singles, dating couples and marriage preparation.
Ololufe Mi (My Beloved) — COUPLES
Celebrate love, friendship, prayer and partnership.
More songs for your journey with God.
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