Are you a minister, pastor, church worker, or leader who lives in Ibadan? You are cordially invited to “Equip” a Minister’s Conference with Rev Femi Oduwole and Rev Gbeminiyi Eboda as part of our 9th anniversary convention.
Rev Dunamis and Sophia Okunowo will also be hosting us. Attendance is free, but registration is required. Kindly register HERE
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We love the idea of “potential.”
He’s not there yet… but he could be.
She’s still finding herself… but she’s got fire.
But here’s the real question: Does he or she have direction?
Hear this clearly:
Potential doesn’t build a marriage. Direction does.
Are you considering someone?
Don’t just ask if they are gifted.
Ask: Are they going anywhere with it?
Purpose isn’t a vibe—it’s a vision. It’s waking up with a sense of assignment. It’s building something bigger than yourself.
You don’t need someone perfect, but you do need someone pursuing. Someone who’s submitted. Someone who’s becoming.
Marriage is more than “We look good together.”
It’s “Can we carry destiny together?”
Can we push each other toward God’s call on our lives?
Can we raise children in purpose?
Can we give sacrificially, serve selflessly, and still laugh while doing it?
If you’re already married, it’s easy to throw purpose out of the window (by the time you begin to change diapers and think about school fees). But the pursuit of purpose shouldn’t stop after the wedding—that’s in fact when it becomes real.
So, become intentional. Ask yourselves:
– What are we building together—besides bills and babies of course?
– Are we aligned spiritually, or just surviving practically?
– Do we challenge each other to grow or just tolerate each other’s comfort zones?
Don’t let your marriage become a museum of old dreams.
Make it a greenhouse—where vision keeps growing, where callings are watered, and where you both flourish side by side.
God never creates purpose in isolation.
He pairs people to partner, not just to cuddle. Remember He made a HELP MEET suitable for Adam.
So whether you’re waiting or already walking the journey, remember this:
The right partnership doesn’t distract you from purpose—it propels you into it.
Red Alert:
If your current relationship is taking you away from purpose, that person is not for you. Cut it off!
Janet: So… what are you wearing tonight for your date?
Liz: I’m thinking of that red dress Stephen got me last month. It should work.
Janet: Wait, Stephen? You’ve left him already? I thought you said he was the right person.
Liz:Correction. I didn’t leave him. We’re still in the talking stage.
Janet: Talking stage? Liz, it’s been six months. Are you guys stammering or what?
Liz: laughs. He’s sweet, but… he’s not really my type.
Janet:sighs. I honestly don’t get you sometimes. Stephen’s the fifth “serious” guy I’ve seen around you lately. And now you’re going on a date with someone new?
Liz: That’s why it’s called a date. To figure people out and get to know them.
Janet: Really? Because at this rate, it feels like you still haven’t figured out Jude, Taiwo, Peter, Osas… or Stephen. Honestly, I feel like I need a date with you to understand what’s going on.
Liz: Don’t be dramatic. Jude was too soft. Remember when that bike guy yelled at me? Jude apologized to him.
Janet: He told me you were rude to the guy.
Liz: Even if I was, he could’ve backed me up in the moment and addressed it later. You stand up for me publicly, then correct me privately. I need someone who’s got my back publicly.
Janet: Huh. So I guess Peter’s more your vibe then?
Liz:rolls eyes. peter? He tries too hard. Everything feels like a performance.
Janet: Isn’t that what he’s supposed to do- try?
Liz: Sure, but there’s trying… and then there’s being over-the-top. I want a guy who knows when to show up and when to chill.
Janet:[looking genuinely puzzled]
Liz: Aren’t you gonna ask about Osas and Taiwo?
Janet: Nope. I already know you ghosted them. I’m not even mad, just… I hope things work out with Stephen.
Liz:smiles softly. Thanks.
Janet: But let me say this, girl, you really need to figure out what you want for yourself. Otherwise, you’ll keep bouncing from guy to guy, looking for something that’s not lost in the name of looking for the right person.
Liz:groans playfully. There she goes again with the life coaching.
Janet: I’m just saying. Six guys and counting in under two years? At some point, you’ve gotta ask: maybe it’s not them. Maybe it’s… you.
Liz: I know what I want in a man.
Janet: Okay, but do you know what you want in yourself?
Liz: So… what’s the moral of this little intervention, Dr. Janet?
Janet:laughs. It’s not an intervention. Just girl talk with a sprinkle of truth.
Liz: More like a bucketful.
Janet: Look, dating’s not a crime. Neither is exploring your options. But at some point, you’ve got to stop collecting names and start collecting lessons.
Liz: Oof. That one hit.
Janet: I’m serious. The real glow-up is self-awareness.
Liz: So you’re saying I should take myself on a date first?
Janet: Exactly. Figure out what you want from you; peace, growth, stability, and the right person won’t feel like a puzzle piece you’re forcing to fit.
Liz: So basically, know yourself, show up honestly, and don’t stop growing?
Janet: Now that’s the real red dress energy.
Liz:laughs. Okay, okay. Fine. Maybe I’ll start with dinner… with myself.
Top 8 Ways To Find Certainty in Choosing Your Life Partner Part 2.
5. The Role of Physical Attraction
The third realm, the body, plays a crucial role, particularly in the realm of physical attraction, in choosing your life partner. It’s imperative to acknowledge the significance of physical attraction, which is meant to complement the spiritual guidance received through the inner being.
Was I physically attracted to my wife? Absolutely, unequivocally yes! Her presence had a magnetic pull on my heart, causing it to skip a beat whenever she was near.
Yet, it’s essential to exercise caution in this realm. In choosing your life partner, physical attraction is important.
6. Exercising Caution in Physical Desires
While physical attraction is natural and important, it’s vital not to allow the desires of the body to dictate one’s actions. The body may yearn for intimate gestures like kissing, petting, or engaging in premarital sex, but succumbing to these desires is a mistake.
7. Upholding the Sanctity of Love
Premarital sex, in particular, is not a testament to love; rather, it undermines the sanctity of the union. True love is demonstrated through patience and restraint. A man or woman unwilling to wait during courtship is unlikely to exhibit self-control after marriage.
Therefore, it’s imperative to resist the urges of the body and uphold the sanctity of the relationship, for true love is patient, respectful, and enduring.
8. Discipline of the Body
Absolutely, it’s crucial not to yield to the desires of the body. Doing so disrupts the beautiful narrative that God is weaving in your life. Engaging in sexual sins introduces confusion into the equation, as you shift your focus from listening to your inner being, attuned to God’s guidance, to heeding the impulses of the flesh.
The problem lies in allowing the flesh, driven by physical desires, to dictate your decisions. Unlike the spirit or inner man, which aligns with God’s will, the flesh cannot provide godly direction.
9. Pleasing God Through Decision-making
As Paul admonishes in 1 Corinthians 9:27 (KJV), “But I keep under my body, and bring it into subjection: lest that by any means, when I have preached to others, I myself should be a castaway.” This underscores the importance of disciplining the body, ensuring that it remains subservient to the inner being.
Indeed, as Romans 8:8 (KJV) emphasizes, “So then they that are in the flesh cannot please God.” In matters of decision-making, it’s imperative for the inner being to take precedence over the desires of the body.
10. Conclusion: Harmonizing Spirit, Mind, and Body
In summary, it’s crucial to listen to God through your inner being, continually renew your mind with God’s Word to align with His will, and disregard the cravings of the body. These bodily feelings are ordained by God to be enjoyed within the sanctity of marriage.
As married couples, it’s essential never to deny each other intimacy. Using sex as a reward or punishment undermines the sacredness of the marital bond and can lead to adultery, with dire consequences. Even during times of disagreement, denying each other intimacy goes against God’s plan. Conjugal rights are meant to be honored and enjoyed as a gift from God.
May God grant you a deeper understanding and deliver you from confusion and disorientation. I pray for peace, calmness, and divine direction to permeate your life in Jesus’ name as you embark on choosing your life partner.
Top 8 Ways To Find Certainty in Choosing Your Life Partner
Introduction: Proposal Experience.
In advising others on proposing to a lady, I often suggest not emulating my approach. My proposal occurred early one morning, precisely at 6:30 a.m., right after our morning devotions. The setting was the Campus Hall of Popoola Hospital, within the premises of Ogun State University, during the third week of February 1996. Unconventionally, I had not yet bathed, dressed simply in a black trouser, a short-sleeved shirt, and bathroom slippers. The decision to propose at that moment was impulsive, spurred by a vivid vision I had experienced the previous night. The urgency of the vision propelled me to act without delay.
1. Being Certain About Whom to Marry.
Today, I want to delve into the topic of how to be certain about choosing your life partner.
As a tripartite being—composed of spirit, soul, and body—you operate within these three realms, each playing a distinct role in heart matters.
First and foremost, it’s essential to recognize that God communicates with you through your spirit. If you seek guidance from the divine, listen closely to the promptings of your inner being, your spirit, or your inner man. This underscores the significance of prayer, particularly praying in the Spirit or speaking in tongues. Engaging in such practices enhances the sensitivity of your inner being, enabling you to discern God’s voice on any matter, including matters of love and marriage thereby enabling you to choose your life partner.
2. Listening to the Inner Being
Indeed, hearing God’s guidance through my inner being was precisely how I discerned that Sophia was destined to be my wife. From the moment I first laid eyes on her, an unmistakable certainty washed over me. It’s akin to tuning in to frequencies on a radio set; as a child of God, you become attuned to divine direction and wisdom.
As the scripture affirms in Romans 8:14 (KJV), “For as many as are led by the Spirit of God, they are the sons of God.” This inner knowing, this spiritual leading, is a hallmark of being in tune with God’s will.
However, despite this deep conviction, I took no immediate action for nearly a year. Patience is essential in choosing your life partner.
3. Renewal of the Mind
Within the second realm of existence lies the mind. What God communicates through our inner being, we process through our minds. The extent to which our minds can align with God’s guidance depends on their renewal. This renewal occurs gradually as we immerse ourselves in God’s Word and study diligently. Regular attendance at church and daily devotionals contribute to this process of mind renewal, for the Word of God holds transformative power. This process is essential in choosing your life partner
4. Dealing with Doubts and Fears
In my mind, doubts and fears crept in. Despite my love for Sophia and the conviction in my spirit, I grappled with uncertainties. Questions nagged at me: Was she truly meant to be my wife? Would our union be blessed with children? What if I had misinterpreted the signs?
In such moments of doubt, the remedy lies in returning to the source of the original guidance: the Spirit within. Through prayer in the Spirit, seeking clarity and confirmation, I sought reassurance. Was I on the right path? Was this truly God’s plan for me?
As I prayed, a sense of assurance welled up from within, like a river flowing from my innermost being, washing away the doubts and fears. Yet, if despite my prayers, the fears persisted, and peace remained elusive, it signaled a need for further discernment. It was crucial to ascertain whether God’s leading was indeed guiding me in this direction.
Despite the initial fears and uncertainties, prayer in the Spirit consistently brought clarity and certainty. Each time I prayed, the doubts dissolved, reaffirming my conviction that Sophia was meant to be my wife.
What is that one thing that is also important in considering who to marry? His faith is important.
Mostly because his faith will influence yours.
It is his faith in God, that will cause him to have the fear of God.
If he has the fear of God, he will never cheat on you.
He would rather protect you and care for you.
He would have the wisdom to live with you and raise a godly family because the fear of God is the beginning of wisdom.
Never ever get married to a man who has no regard for God.
It would be the greatest mistake ever!
Well, no matter how much you love him, no matter how much preparation you have made, no matter how much has been spent, if he does not have a relationship with God, pick your bags and bolt!
Run for your life.
Preserve your destiny with your choice.
2Co 6:14-15 (MSG) Don’t become partners with those who reject God. How can you make a partnership out of right and wrong? That’s not partnership; that’s war. Is light best friends with dark? [15] Does Christ go strolling with the Devil? Do trust and mistrust hold hands?
In marriage, there is a “knowing” at the highest level as love is consummated.
The husband becomes the cover and the head of the family.
God forbids that the head is sick, for he would only transfer the sickness.
He can only give what he has.
God forbid that the head is foolish, he would only disseminate the foolishness and no more.
He would make foolish decisions and affect the wife and the children, and sometimes, the children’s children!
The mouth of the foolish poureth out foolishness.
Pro 15:2 (KJV) The tongue of the wise useth knowledge aright: but the mouth of fools poureth out foolishness.
Take a look at the Message Translation:
Pro 15:2 (MSG) Knowledge flows like spring water from the wise; fools are leaky faucets, dripping nonsense.
May you not have a leaky faucet of a head, dripping nonsense over your destiny!
Knowing Who To Marry
I tell you, as a counselor, that can be frustrating!
How beautiful is it, to have a praying man over your life, to have a man who is faithful to you, who will never cheat on you, not because he doesn’t feel like it but because he fears God!
You wouldn’t need to add the unrest, suspicion, insecurity, disagreements, and bickering that goes with knowing your spouse is cheating on you to your daily pressures.
Go for peace of mind.
If you are already married and have issues, please don’t give up too quickly. Pray and intercede! Go for therapy as well! Don’t keep quiet and watch things degenerate until it becomes too late!
Divorce is not always God’s direction unless life is threatened.
Take time to intercede and trust God for intervention and you will surely see the salvation of the Lord in Jesus name!
