In this generation, it appears that physical attributes, or simply put beauty, are the primary factors considered when choosing a spouse!
People go to such an extent that they use online and social media filters to alter their appearances and looks, creating an illusion for both the observer and the person being observed.
Well, the reality is that relying solely on outward appearance as the primary criterion is a recipe for disaster.
Let’s examine what the Bible suggests!
Gen 2:23 (KJV) And Adam said, This is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh: she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man.
Bone of my bones.
Flesh of my flesh.
Bones, which lie within, symbolize the body’s structural foundation and inherent strength.
In contrast, flesh, which lies outside, serves as an external covering, protecting the underlying bone.
The scripture mentions the bones of my bones first, before the flesh of my flesh. This is deliberate and not a mere coincidence.
The bones will always hold greater significance than the flesh.
That which lies within, the structure that holds that handsome man or beautiful woman, that is their character, is of utmost importance.
Yes, I understand that you should marry the one you are attracted to.
Yes, beauty is important, but it should never be the sole criterion for offering something.
Pro 11:22 (MSG) Like a gold ring in a pig’s snout is a beautiful face on an empty head.
Yes, you read that correctly!
The image of a gold ring in a pig’s snout is jarring and incongruous, starkly contrasting the outward beauty with the inner emptiness.
A beautiful face (outer beauty) is meaningless if the person lacks inner qualities such as wisdom, kindness, and character (inner substance).
Don’t judge people based solely on their physical looks. Instead, take the time to get to know their character and inner qualities.
Cultivate inner beauty as a single person. Focus on developing a beautiful inner life, which will eventually radiate outward and enhance your outward appearance.
Four Destiny Questions You Should Ask Before Falling In Love
Life is a journey of destination that only God knows and understands its beginning and ending (Jeremiah 1:5). This is why you shouldn’t take your purpose discovery lightly; it is a determinant of the answers to your existence.
There’s a primary assignment that is committed to every individual on earth and that assignment is greater than the purpose that life offers after your arrival on earth (Ephesians 2:10).
Here are four destiny questions you should ask yourself:
1. Who am I?
The discovery of YOU is the awareness of what God has embedded into you. I want you to understand that everyone has a reason for being here. That reason is to propagate God and His work. So, take a deep breath and ask yourself, who am I? (1 John 3:1)
2. Why am I here?
Your existence on earth is never a mistake and if you’re an afterthought child, you’re still not a mistake because there’s a greater reason why you’re here; to compliment and fill up the space God has created for you. (Isaiah 43:21)
3. What is my purpose?
The moment a man gets to a stage in life and that big question pops up, the depth of your existence is about to be revealed. Purpose is the real intent of your creation and this can only be found in God. God is the revealer of our assignment on earth, so cling to Him and He will direct your paths (Jeremiah 29:11)
4. Where am I going from here?
There’s something we call CLARITY in the journey of life. This clarity doesn’t uncover all the details you need to finish the journey but it will give you a heads-up to start. In other words, whatever God has shown you is enough to start, clarity unfolds as you progress in the journey. (Deuteronomy 31:8)
How do I navigate through the journey of discovering ME?
1. Build a personal relationship with God
2. Read the word of God daily and meditate on it
3. Pray always and develop your spirit man.
4. Have a mentor or a spiritual parent to guide you on the journey
5. Stay committed to doing the will of God in every area of your life.
The dating scene can be a mixed bag. Sometimes you’re on an endless stream of “meh” dates, and other times, you’re just not sure where things are going. So what if, instead of just hoping for a good match, you took control and started dating with intention? If you’re ready for something real and meaningful, this approach is for you.
Intentional dating means being clear on your goals, values, and the type of relationship you’re looking for. It’s about moving beyond the swipe culture and looking for genuine connection. Ready to dive in? Let’s walk through how to date with purpose and discover if it’s the right move for you.
What is Intentional Dating, Really?
Think of intentional dating like this: instead of just “seeing where things go,” you’re going in with a plan. You’re asking yourself the big questions, like “What do I want in a relationship?” and “Does this person align with my values?”
Intentional dating is not about obsessing over finding “the one” right away. It’s about clarity. You know why you’re dating and what kind of connection you want, and you’re ready to put in the time to find it. It’s less about chasing a fairy-tale romance and more about building a lasting partnership.
Why go intentional?
Less confusion: You’re both on the same page, so there’s less “are we or aren’t we?” stress.
Real connections: You’re aiming for depth over casual vibes.
Faster decisions: Intentional dating helps you recognize when someone’s a match—or not—quicker than dating aimlessly.
Set Your Relationship Goals
Before hitting the dating scene, do a little self-reflection. What do you actually want?
Ask yourself:
What matters most to me? Do you value loyalty? Faith? Open communication?
Long-term or short-term? Are you looking for marriage, companionship, or someone who helps you grow?
Non-negotiables? Figure out your deal-breakers, like honesty, kindness, or shared faith.
Knowing your relationship goals keeps you from getting sidetracked by anyone who isn’t on the same wavelength. And, bonus: it makes you way more attractive to the right people.
Communicate Your Intentions (Without Making it Awkward)
A lot of us get nervous about talking about what we want. But here’s the thing – when you’re upfront about your intentions, you’re saving everyone time and potential heartache.
You can start simple, like:
“I’m looking for something more meaningful. How about you?”
Or try, “I really value open communication and honesty. I just want to make sure we’re on the same page.”
This way, you’re not diving into the “where is this going” talk too soon, but you’re making it clear you’re not just here for a fling.
Be Present During Dates
So, you’re on a date with someone promising – now what? Mindfulness is your friend here. It’s all about being fully present so you can actually connect and get to know the other person.
Tips for mindful dating:
Active listening: Really listen, not just to respond but to understand. Put the phone away.
Ask meaningful questions: Skip the usual “What do you do for work?” Instead, ask things like, “What’s something you’re passionate about?” or “What do you enjoy doing in your free time?”
Non-verbal cues: Pay attention to body language and eye contact. Often, they tell you more than words can.
Being present not only makes the date more enjoyable but also helps you get a true sense of compatibility.
Compatibility Check: Do They Align with Your Values?
This is the big one. Dating with intention means looking beyond the surface and figuring out if someone aligns with your values and goals. Here’s what to consider:
Shared Values: Do they care about the same things you do, whether it’s faith, family, or social issues?
Future Plans: Talk about goals—career, family, travel. Are your lives going in the same direction?
Communication Style: How do they handle conflict? How do they communicate their needs and feelings?
Lifestyle Preferences: Do your day-to-day habits align, or would they clash?
Assessing these areas can save you time and emotional energy in the long run.
Tackling Challenges in Intentional Dating
Intentional dating can bring its own set of challenges. Here’s how to tackle a few common ones:
Rejection: This doesn’t mean you’re not good enough. It’s actually freeing – it just means they weren’t the right fit.
Different Expectations: If one person wants serious and the other wants casual, you’ll need to communicate openly to avoid misunderstandings. Don’t shy away from the tough conversations.
Managing Disappointment: Not every date will lead to a connection. See each experience as a chance to learn and get closer to what you want.
Intentional dating can be tough, but each step is a part of the process that brings you closer to someone genuinely right for you.
Building a Foundation That Lasts
If you’re lucky enough to meet someone amazing, focus on building a strong foundation together. Here’s how:
Trust: Keep promises and be honest about your intentions.
Respect: Value each other’s perspectives, boundaries, and individuality.
Open Communication: Talk about everything, even the tough stuff. Vulnerability strengthens bonds.
If you and your date are on the same page, keep the connection growing by prioritizing trust, respect, and communication.
When to Move from Dating to a Relationship
Wondering if it’s time to make things official? Here are some clues:
You’re both feeling it: Mutual feelings are essential. Both people should be on the same emotional level.
You’re talking about the future: Planning ahead together is a great sign that you’re ready for more.
You’ve had the “Define the Relationship” (DTR) chat: This is key to make sure you’re both clear on exclusivity.
The transition from dating to a relationship should feel like a natural next step. Take it slow, respect each other’s pace, and enjoy the ride.
In a Nutshell
Intentional dating is about bringing clarity, purpose, and self-awareness to your dating journey. It’s not about chasing perfection but about connecting with someone who aligns with your values and goals. So, if you’re ready to move beyond casual and start dating with purpose, take these steps to heart. It might just lead you to the kind of relationship you’ve been praying for.
Delving into the Magic of True Love. One of the questions I asked God was, “How do I know which of the millions of guys on the planet truly loves me?” In my seriousness, I asked God to help me discern who the guy is who truly loves me. God did it. The rest is today’s narrative. True love discovered me.
The question is, how do you know whether you’ve found true love? Everyone will tell you that you should never marry someone who does not sincerely love you. This morning, I’ll teach you how to recognize true love. You can use a litmus test to determine true love. Singles can use this as a guide. Couples can use this to develop their love more!
True love can be detected no matter how well it hides itself.
Don’t fall in love with anyone until you’ve put what appears to be love to the test.
Delving into the Magic of True Love
1. There will be commitment, not just feelings if it is true love.
Many people are persuaded, but how dedicated are they to you?
Commitment necessitates sacrifice. Is he or she prepared to make a sacrifice for you? The more the sacrifice, the greater the sincerity of the love. He doesn’t actually love you if he exhibits no signals of commitment.
It is not difficult to determine commitment; merely look for his/her commitment in small things. How devoted is he to the partnership and to your personal well-being?
NB: Singles and Couples’ Hubs Whatsapp Meeting is Weekly. Use the links below to join and participate
2. There will be tranquility if it is sincere love.
Peace is a solid indicator that God has approved you. There is peace in pure love – nothing is missing or broken. Peace is the umpire who gives you the green light to proceed.
This tranquility is both spiritual and natural. True love is absent in situations where there is constant turbulence, strife, dispute, and abuse. If he or she loves you, he or she will desire peace.
Colossians 3:15 (AMPC) And let the peace (soul harmony which comes) from Christ rule (act as umpire continually) in your hearts [deciding and settling with finality all questions that arise in your minds, in that peaceful state] to which as [members of Christ’s] one body you were also called [to live]. And be thankful (appreciative), [giving praise to God always].
Delving into the Magic of True Love
3. True love is quick to forgive.
True love exists where there is forgiveness. True love covers a plethora of sins. If he or she is constantly picking on every small mistake you make, the love is not genuine.
True love finds it easy to forgive and to seek pardon. A real “I am sorry” is an indication of deep affection. If he or she constantly puts you on the spot and is critical or judgmental of you, it’s not true love.
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4. Communication will be effortless if it is pure love.
The love isn’t genuine if he/she claims to love you but hasn’t called you in three weeks. True love appreciates conversing with the person he loves. Silence and boredom are not signs of deep love. True love never regards communication as a chore. When conversing becomes pleasurable, you know you’re in love.
5. Pre-marital sex is never required by true love.
If they truly love you, they will not ask for or demand sex. They will rather want to wait till after the wedding. Whether it is an outright demand, a subtle demand, a polite or deceptive request, sex outside of marriage is a shred of solid evidence that the love is not true according to God’s standard.
Some people mistakenly feel that pre-marital sex is what proves and solidifies true love. Nothing could be further from the truth.
