Hey, you. Yes, you—the one who’s tired of love talks.
Tired of hearing “wait on God.”
Tired of trying to make your marriage work.
Tired of hoping someone will choose you and stay.
Tired of feeling like love is for everyone else… except you.
Can I be honest with you? Love can be exhausting—when it’s done in your strength, when you’re doing all the bending, adjusting, forgiving, praying, and hoping… while the other person barely notices. When you feel like you’ve been faithful, but love hasn’t been kind in return.
But here’s what you need to know:
God sees you. He hasn’t forgotten. He isn’t late. And no, you’re not too broken, too difficult, or too anything to be loved right.
You were never created to chase love. You were created to carry it. To be full of it. To walk in it—with or without a ring, a title, or romantic gestures. Your value doesn’t increase because someone texts you “good morning” or posts your photo. You are loved now. Completely. Unconditionally. Eternally.
So, take a breath. Stop striving. Let God love you into wholeness before anyone else tries to hold your heart. Or before the one holding your heart (your spouse) learns to hold it well.
And when love comes, it won’t make you beg, drain, or confuse you. It will honour what God has already healed.
You’re not hard to love. You’re just waiting to be loved right.
Oftentimes, people walk away from toxic relationships, unhealthy attachments, or bad habits, thinking that the battle is over. But leaving is only the first step. The real challenge is filling that empty space with something better. It’s easy to think that once you’ve cut ties with the wrong person or situation, everything will automatically be fine. But if you don’t intentionally fill your heart with positive, God-centered things, you might find yourself slipping back into old patterns even after you might have vowed that it would never happen again.
“When an unclean spirit goes out of a man, it passes through dry places seeking rest, and does not find it. Then it says, ‘I will return to my house from which I came.’ And when it comes, it finds it empty, swept, and put in order. Then it goes and brings with it seven other spirits more wicked than itself, and they enter and dwell there; and the last state of that man is worse than the first.” — Matthew 12:43-45 (NKJV)
This is the very point Jesus was making in Matthew 12. A man was freed from an unclean spirit, but when the spirit returned, it found the house empty. Without something better taking its place, the man’s situation worsened. It’s a pattern we see in relationships, too. If you leave one behind but don’t fill your life with healing, purpose, and spiritual growth, you open yourself up to emptiness and vulnerability. This emptiness can lead you to crave the wrong things: unhealthy attention, distractions, or even another toxic relationship.
Instead of just walking away from bad relationships, it’s crucial to intentionally build a life that’s full of what truly matters—God’s wisdom, His love, and a deeper sense of purpose. Focus on nurturing your relationship with God, growing emotionally, and investing time with people who help you grow in faith. Stay busy with purpose, serve God like never before, and pursue personal growth. When you fill your life with the right things, you create a strong foundation, leaving no room for the wrong things to creep back in.
Leaving behind what’s wrong is an important step, but the real work begins after that. If you don’t fill the empty space with God’s truth, His presence, and a sense of purpose, you are at risk of falling into that same cycle. Today, make the decision to fill your life with His presence so that when love comes, you are not settling out of emptiness but embracing something beautiful because you are whole, ready, and aligned with God’s perfect plan for you.
Loneliness is a powerful feeling. Like desperation, it can make people settle for less—for relationships they know aren’t right. They do this just to fill the empty space in their hearts. However, if you make a decision based on loneliness, it will often lead to premium tears—your temporary fix causing you long-term pain.
Sometimes we mix it up, but get it straight now. God didn’t propose marriage to Adam because he was lonely. No! There’s a world of difference between being alone and being lonely.
“And the Lord God said, ‘It is not good that man should be alone; I will make him a helper comparable to him.’” Genesis 2:18 [NKJV]
A man can be alone, but not lonely. Another man can be married to a woman, yet lonely. “Being alone” means being singular—be it physically, in an assignment or project, etc. while “being lonely” is a void in the heart—a feeling of emptiness in the soul that is often caused by a lack of active participation in purpose.
Adam was too busy with what God had committed into his hands to do that he didn’t even have time to be lonely. He was alone but not lonely. God had to come to initiate marriage when he saw that Adam needed a helper.
For singles, the temptation to say “Maybe this is the best I can get” often springs from loneliness. Seeing others in relationships makes matters worse, making you feel like time is running out. That’s desperation. But don’t let the feeling of loneliness and desperation push you into something unhealthy. It’s better to wait alone than to walk into a relationship that steals your peace, your values, or your destiny. The wrong relationship will drain you much more than loneliness ever could.
For married couples, well, you can be married and still be lonely. Loneliness can still creep in—especially when communication is broken down or when life gets overwhelming. However, the solution isn’t to withdraw, seek emotional validation elsewhere, or compare your spouse to others. The solution is to fight for your marriage to thrive again—work towards reconnecting. Talk. Pray together. Block out every channel (the opposite gender) that gives you emotional satisfaction. Remember why you chose each other. And fight to reconnect.
A good marriage is not built on constant excitement; it’s built on commitment through every season. Commit to working on your marriage. Commit to fighting for the spark to return again. Sometimes, or most times, it starts with just one of the spouses. If it’s you, then don’t get discouraged. Keep your eyes on the goal, regardless of what you see on the way. Don’t allow loneliness to last. Don’t allow it to lead you into an emotional affair and, ultimately, a full-blown affair.
Ultimately, may we all always recognize that God is always present with us, so we can draw strength from Him.
“Do not fear, for I am with you.” Isaiah 41:10.
God is always present, even in seasons when you feel lonely. So, instead of making hasty decisions out of desperation as singles, trust that His timing is perfect. While waiting, keep active with your purpose. The right love—one that honors God—will come. And if you’re married, the love you already have can be strengthened.
When Your Lover Says These, Do Not Ignore. Mrs. Johnson became distracted and was falling in love with another man at her work place. She really loved God and yet she was sliding down the drain. She couldn’t believe it. Her mind was convoluted, and her emotions were like a roller coaster. She continually expressed her situation to her husband in very subtle statements, but her insensitive husband couldn’t decode the precarious situation.
On the other hand, George who was seeing Sandy was getting distracted by another lady. He tried getting attention of Sandy so as to fend off the new feelings, but Sandy did not have time for him, hence his vulnerability was amplified.
The reality is that statements made by singles in courtship or those married often show the depth of the trap within a relationship or marriage.
Even when you are not in any relationship as a single, your utterances can often reveal the kind of issues you have and that you need to address.
It happens all the time. Born again or not. Distractions set in. Traps come in various forms. Attacks in the mind and against the marriage are incessant.
Adulterous traps, akin to traps used to catch rats, are demonically placed all over. Snares, on almost every turn.
There are statements that your spouse or lover makes that show he or she is being distracted and needs your attention. Don’t ignore your spouse at such moments because you are needed to salvage the situation.
When Your Lover Says These, Do Not Ignore
What are those statements?
Here we go.
1. You don’t have time for me again
You are always around your spouse and yet he or she makes this statement? You need to pay attention lest somebody take your place emotionally. This statement is calling for you to make time available so your lover or spouse can have reassurance that will help deflect the new rush of feelings!
Do not ignore it!
Do not defend!
Do not argue!
Do not turn it into ridicule.
Just make time and have some deep conversations.
Let me drop a word for singles that are not in any relationship. When a single friend says this to you, he or she is trying to show interest and is weighing your reaction to know whether to pursue or retreat! Testing the waters!
So if you don’t like the person and you are not considering any commitments, you can reply with
“Which time now? I be your boyfriend / girlfriend?”
That is enough red light!
But if you really love the person, then you say something like this:
“Haba! You know that you are special to me, don’t you?:”
The person will get the green light to proceed.
When Your Lover Says These Do Not Ignore
2. You are far away from me When your spouse makes this statement, don’t take it lightly. Don’t fight or turn it into a quarrel. Listen to what is being said and what is not being said.
It is possible to be physically close to the one you love, and yet be far away emotionally. That is why couples who sleep on the same bed daily can often complain of loneliness. Sounds ridiculous? It’s the reality!
This person is telling you that the farther away you are, emotionally, the bigger the gap you leave for others to fill.
Married couples, prioritize your relationship with your spouse.
For those in a relationship, and not yet married, there is a twist to this statement. You need to find out if the statement is genuine or simply a call to give in to sex. Some tact and wisdom are needed here. Some decoding of words, and finding out of motives is required here.
When Your Lover Says These, Do Not Ignore. I will stop here and continue later.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I am not deceived
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord, lead me in the right way!
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Psa 74:20 (MSG) Remember your promises; the city is in darkness, the countryside violent.
