Betty gave her all to that relationship. It was the very first time she would fall in love and it meant a lot to her. She saw nothing other than a glorious wedding, a blissful marriage, and wonderful children ahead. She fantasized herself being with Bode, loving each other as married couples.
She nearly failed her exam at a time because she was in love. The love was like drugs to her. She thought about nothing other than Bode. Her friends told her to slow down but she told them they were jealous and it was because theirs weren’t working.
As time progressed, quarrels reared their heads. The love story began to develop unwanted twists that nearly ended the story abruptly. But she hung on.
The straw that broke the camel’s back was when Betty discovered that Bode was cheating on her with three different ladies, one of them being her best friend.
Her heart was shattered, scattered, and battered.
“All men are scum!” She said.
She went from anger into hurt and then bitterness. From there she entered acute feminism and she was beginning to sing that “marriage is not for me”
Have you ever find yourself in this kind of scenario? I have a word of the Lord for you this morning.
Even though you are hurting and bitter, God will heal your soul! Yes, He promised that!
HE RESTORETH MY SOUL: he leadeth me in the paths of righteousness for his name’s sake. Psa 23:3 (KJV)
He would not just heal your soul which is battered, He will restore it and reset it! Then He will now lead you into His God’s ordained plan for you maritally.
So when you are hurting, don’t stay in that hurt, go to God and let God do only what God can do.
I pray for you, healing and restoration will come to your soul in Jesus Name!
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY My soul is restored in God.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Pray for your emotional healing
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Ps 23:3 (AMP) He refreshes and restores my life (my self); He leads me in the paths of righteousness [uprightness and right standing with Him — not for my earning it, but] for His name’s sake.
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Take your hurting heart to God
Having to start your day with asking God for forgiveness daily can be very frustrating, especially when you know you are going to commit the sin again. Self condemnation comes once we violate God’s principles.
This self-condemnation will surface at much unexpected times. Most times, young folks get involved in jeru trip before marriage in order to express their freedom or liberty. In the end, the purpose is defeated, because the very freedom they seek to express will be lost to emotional captivity and slavery. Freedom from a guilty conscience will be gone.
Years ago, a lady sat before me. She was genuinely troubled. She felt God would never forgive her, because she was involved in jeru trip. She wept bitterly. She said she has asked God to forgive her severally and she was not sure God heard her.
Another lady actually lost her mind after indulging in jeru trip because she believed she had committed an unpardonable sin. She couldn’t recognize anybody again. She embraced the devil’s lie that she has committed the unpardonable sin because of the jeru trip. She was talking gibberish and making faces. When we were called (alongside another pastor) upon to pray for her, all our attempts failed until we started to address the issue of guilt by the Spirit of God. As we began to speak to her about God’s love and kindness, that demon left her, she calmed down, sobered up and tears began to flow. It was only then she was restored. It was then she told us what really happened. The negative emotion of guilt is a terrible experience. Guilt can be so real to the point of being suicidal.
When troubles ganged up on me, a mob of sins past counting, I was so swamped by guilt I couldn’t see my way clear. More guilt in my heart than hair on my head, so heavy the guilt that my heart gave out. (Psa 40:12 MSG)
I’m swamped by my bad behavior, collapsed under gunnysacks of guilt. (Psa 38:4 MSG)
You wouldn’t want to live with guilt all your life for violating God’s law. However, no matter how guilty you feel right now; God can always send help if you call upon Him and trust in His Word. That’s the way out. It could be a sin of fornication or adultery or any form of sexual perversion, the blood of Jesus took care of all!
Then I let it all out; I said, “I’ll make a clean breast of my failures to GOD.” Suddenly the pressure was gone– my guilt dissolved, my sin disappeared. (Psa 32:5 MSG)
I want you to know that there is a lover of your soul that is different from any lover who might have disappointed you. You might have been disappointed by men, abandoned by men, used and dumped by men, treated shabbily by men…but when you meet the man, He will restore your soul! The Samaritan woman had met so many men…but then when she met the man, the lover of her soul, she couldn’t but express the difference that turned her life around!
Joh 4:28-29 KJV The woman then left her waterpot, and went her way into the city, and saith to the men, Come, see a man…
Respond to God’s love today. Refuse the emotion of guilt! You see the moment you have asked your father to forgive you, He forgives and forgets. The devil tries to bring guilt so that you can feel unworthy and thereby prevent you from coming into God’s presence boldly.
But you see, this issue is a family affair! If your earthly father has forgiven you of an offence, what else can the servant in the house say? You simply tell him to shut up!
That is the way you handle the devil. It’s none of his business. God forgave you, period. Tell the devil to shut up, it’s between you and your father, it’s a family affair and it is settled! He should stop poke nosing. The blood of Jesus handled it already!
If he tries to remind you of your past, remind him of his future, it’s the bottomless pit! Make sure you stop sinning. That is what God does not want, especially continuous and habitual sins. Grace cannot abound when sin continues!
Only hearken to what Jesus said to that adulterous woman caught in the act.
Joh 8:11 KJV… And Jesus said unto her, Neither do I condemn thee: go, and sin no more.
The fact is that you did something wrong. The lie is that you will never be forgiven. The Truth is that you are already forgiven and it is forgotten! Embrace the truth today and let it set you free! Truth is superior to fact!
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I refuse the lie from the devil. I embrace the truth of God’s word.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Ask that God helps you to see the truth in his word.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Psalm 32:5 (KJV)I acknowledge my sin unto thee, and mine iniquity have I not hid. I said, I will confess my transgressions unto the Lord; and thou forgavest the iniquity of my sin. Selah.
One of the greatest challenges that a man will face is how to care of his wife. This is not because a man is reluctant to do so, but simply because the definition of care in a man’s brain is sometimes exact opposite of how a lady defines care. I am not talking about when you’ve just fallen in love. Mostly at that time, your eyes are not open to reality then. At the times when you’ve just fallen in love, everything he does is okay and everything she does is okay!
A woman sees C-A-R-E as availability, attention and some good money! A man often sees C-A-R-E as money, money and money, and that is where the problem is?
Didn’t I just send you money? How can you say I don’t care? Didn’t I just send you to Dubai? You see, a woman that truly loves you doesn’t mind going to Dubai, but she doesn’t want to go alone! She wants to go with you!
I know there are some women who see C-A-R-E as money, money and money! This isn’t a genuine love, and at the end of the day, they are still frustrated despite the money because the real need is never met!
This is the bane of ladies who are of marriageable age, but refuse to love and be loved appropriately because of some man who is giving them money or who rents an apartment for them somewhere.
You call them big girls, but they are really small inside! The big girls are not the ones spending some ill-gotten money that they accumulated from using their bodies as a commodity; the big girls are the ones who refuse to compromise in the face of provocation, who decides to stand up for God!
If you are engaged to a lady who never asks for your time and attention but only wants you to send her money, you should really be worried! She is probably getting the emotional fulfillment somewhere else and you are just a tool in her hands, to get money!
On the other hand, if a lady never stresses you for money but only asks that you call regularly and be there for her, she really loves you! Though, there could be an extreme of this as well, when the lady in question is overly needy because of past experiences and self-esteem issues.
So how do you take care of lady? Be there for her. Take care of her by spending time with her. But, I have to provide for her, so I am busy and I have to be away! Yes, but you have to create time out of no time, to be available for her. May you not get the money and then lose her!
You need to understand that it is a need of hers! Initially she might not complain because the money is always there, but after a while, she would rather let you have her than the money having her.
Why do you think some rich women get depressed? Haven’t you seen ladies living in palatial mansions who are so unhappy and depressed?
Money answereth all things…that it can answer!
Like it is often said, can money buy sleep? Nay, it may buy waterbed, not sleep!
Can money buy a good heart, nay, it may get a beautiful face, not necessarily a good heart. One of the worst things that can happen to a man is a stunningly beautiful face sitting on an evil heart! Conversely, one of the greatest tragedies that can happen to a woman is a stupendously rich man and a handsome face sitting on an abusive, egocentric and violent man!
His money buys your body, your mouth and your mind! You can’t even think for yourself, that is not marriage! Sadly this is where a lot of ladies find themselves! A lady called me sometimes ago weeping profusely; that she has all the money but she cannot spend! She was living in a prison!
It is for this reason that when you are talking of a relationship or marriage with a person, the most singular important factor is God’s choice for you!
And then some people will come up with some funny ideas like; what if God gives me somebody I don’t love? What you don’t know is that God is not man, that arithmetic or geometry will never be.
That God will lead you to somebody you hate all your life? It never happens like that! You will always love what God offers because He gives you the best! Yes, initially you may not cooperate with God’s plan because of selfishness and greed, but when you come to embrace God’s plan, you will see the wisdom of God, and you will be full of praises to God!
Only God knows the man or woman that will last the whole journey with you. Only God knows the one that will pack his or her load along the way. Only God knows the one that might pull the trigger on you five years later. Only God knows the one that wouldn’t mind using you for some ritual… because God looks into the heart…while you are looking at the bank account and the face! You see why it is important you follow God’s direction?
What if you are already married and you feel you made a mistake? Stay there and correct that mistake, with prayers, good attitudes, wisdom and a lot of maturity, God can heal your marriage and make it good!
May God help us all!
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I am not confused. I am being led of God
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord lead me into that place by your side.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY My voice shalt thou hear in the morning, O Lord; in the morning will I direct my prayer unto thee, and will look up. (Psalms 5:3 KJV)
Yesterday, we lookedat what every man wants in his spouse that women need to pay attention to. Today, it’s the other way round, we’re looking at what a wife wants from her husband, so let’s go!
1. A head, not a headache This is one of the vital things a wife wants from you. A man is supposed to be his wife’s head, not her headache. What is the head supposed to do? The eyes are located in the head, so one of the principal responsibilities of a man as the head is to cast a vision for the family and give direction as well. The mind is located in the head, so the man is supposed to be a thinker and be responsible.
Being the head does not mean she is subservient to you, for there is nothing the head can do alone. It is the body that holds the head and so the head needs the cooperation of the neck and the body to function in its assignment.
The husband provides leadership to his wife the way Christ does to his church, not by domineering but by cherishing. (Ephesians 5:23 Message)
There are some singles ladies in courtship that are already having sleepless nights by virtue of who they are involved with. This is not the plan of God for you, and when you see negative trends like that, the man is not likely to change after marriage. Don’t close your eyes to all the red lights because you want to get married desperately.
2. A protector, not a manipulator A man is supposed to be the protector of the lady, even in a dating situation. But what is rampant today is a brazen display of manipulation and high degree insincerity. We have men today who are not really interested in marriage but just in jeru trip. A wife wants to feel safe and protected
As a lady, there is no point courting such a man because if you are not careful, he will soon have his way while you are left heartbroken. A manipulator knows how to feed your weaknesses just to get what he wants. A husband that manipulates knows how to logically blame the wife for everything.
3. A caring husband, not a scary one There are wives that can’t talk in their matrimonial home. They are permanently muted. For such women, the fear of their husbands is the beginning of wisdom! There are even ladies who are in courtship and they have no say. Now, this is very defective and it is not God’s order! The man that loves God and loves his family does not scare. You don’t rule your home with an iron fist, you rule with love.
A situation where the boy is playing football, but upon hearing the blast of dad’s car horn, dives through the window, the wife rushes to the kitchen to get food ready…. all because the lion of the tribe of his house has come! Children raised in this kind of atmosphere always rebel in the end. Be caring, rather than be scary!
4. A praying husband, not a preying one It will interest you to know that every lady wants a spiritual man. Every lady wants a man that will wake her up to pray. Every lady wants a man that can lay hands on her and bless her. Now, you don’t have to be a pastor to do that. You only need to have a relationship with God.
Tomorrow, I will show us more things a woman wants from her husband.
May God bless our marriage.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I receive the wisdom of God to advance my marriage
PRAYERS FOR THE DAY Father, help me to be a husband indeed.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her, so that he shall have no need of spoil. She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life (Proverbs 31:11-12 KJV)
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Support your spouse all the way.
There shouldn’t be issues of somebody giving you a “nail” when you propose if you follow simple traffic rules.
The guy is like the one driving a car and the lady is the parking space.
So the guy is driving and he wants to ‘branch’ into a place, traffic rule says you should trafficate.
According to Wikipedia, Trafficators are semaphore signals which, when operated, protrude from the bodywork of a motor vehicle to indicate its intention to turn in the direction indicated by the pointing signal.
So a guy is interested in a lady, you want to turn in her direction, the next thing to do is to use your trafficator! How do you do that?
You indicate your intention in little but healthy ways. You must have been friends of course! You send her an SMS (not to propose, but just saying hi), buy her a card, or keep a bar of chocolate for her. Those are some little healthy gestures that tell her, I want to “turn here.” That way, you are using the trafficator.
Now, the girl with her attitudes, reactions, and body language will either welcome you or rebuff you completely. It is either she brings up a signpost that tells you that you can turn in here or she brings up a warning sign, ‘No Parking!’
Once you see ‘No parking’ repeatedly, you simply drive on and say, ‘who wants to park before, my hands just mistakenly hit the trafficator!
You see that way, you stop wasting your time and energy and you avoid unnecessary rejection and you are still friends at the end of the day.
But you see, there are guys who are not really interested in commitment who just want to have a place to park illegally and have some jeru trip. Be wary of such.
Then, there are guys that will not trafficate at all and will just turn in. That is a traffic offence tantamount to justified rejection. You don’t operate like that in the kingdom.
There are also guys, who will trafficate right and then they abruptly turn to the left. That is nothing but wickedness. It is a traffic offence! Those kinds of guys should not be given an inch of parking space at all. They are not being sincere about what they really want.
Then there are also guys who will leave their double blinker on. You are not sure where they are going because the trafficators show they are turning both left and right at the same time. Don’t give your attention to such guys!
Traffic offences will always attract traffic officers and they will either arrest you or waste your time. Learn to do it God’s way so you don’t end up wasting a few years in your attempts at marriage.
And then for guys, look at the signs very well before you turn in. There are some places that are just dead ends. When you get entangled and fall in love with someone who has no relationship with God in any form but because she has hot legs, you are simply looking for trouble.
There are also places where the parking space is full, there is no reason getting involved with a married person. But you and your car may not survive it!
For married people, appreciate your spouse and stop using your trafficators on forbidden zones. There are some places you are not permitted to drive to again. You can admire those parking spaces but don’t desire them and don’t go there. Go back and use your space that God has given you and God will bless you on that.
As a married man, there are several parking places that look so alluring but God says don’t try it. They look beautiful with soft grass where your car can easily be parked but underneath are sharp pricks that will ground your vehicle. You will be immobilized, your destiny will be truncated and you will be grounded.
If you are illegally parked somewhere, it is time to move before you are grounded. If you are already grounded, get a towing vehicle and move out fast. That will cost you a little but it is the best thing to do. Run to God and decide to do it right. That is when you can run your race with grace and you will be sure you will get to your destination.
I pray for you this morning that every hindrance in your way is removed in Jesus name. You will surely get to your destination.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I will not miss it in marriage
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord, help me to trafficate rightly.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Ephesians 1:17-18 NLT asking God, the glorious Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, to give you spiritual wisdom and insight so that you might grow in your knowledge of God. I pray that your hearts will be flooded with light so that you can understand the confident hope he has given to those he called—his holy people who are his rich and glorious inheritance.
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Trafficate before you park
