Daniel was a young man in a foreign place. Everything around him had changed—his name, his language, his environment. The safety net of his home, culture, and spiritual community was gone. No one was there to check on him. If he wanted, he could have blended in and lived like everyone else. No one would know. But he knew who he was. That was the difference.
Daniel 1:8 – “But Daniel resolved not to defile himself…”
Daniel chose discipline. Not because it was easy. Not because someone was standing over him. But because deep down, he had already made up his mind about the kind of person he wanted to be. He knew his identity in Christ.
That’s the heart of self-discipline. It is not about “trying to be a good Christian.” It is the practical proof of who you believe you are, even when no one is watching. No partner to see if you prayed today. No one to notice whether you’re slipping spiritually. It is just you, your choices, and God. And honestly, that can feel like a lot, not because you do not love God, but because consistency is hard when no one is around to hold you accountable.
But this is the point where real growth happens. When you can:
– Set boundaries without needing applause.
– Guard your emotional space even when loneliness shows up.
– Stay sexually pure, not because you’re scared, but because you respect who you’re becoming.
– Manage your time like it matters, because your purpose actually does.
That kind of discipline? It builds a spiritual backbone.
Daniel didn’t wait until he had power or influence to start being disciplined. He started when no one knew his name. As singles, this season is not just about “surviving until someone shows up.” It is a season for building habits, mindset, and structure that will carry into every future season.
If you only live well when someone is watching, then you are not really rooted. But when you can lead yourself without pressure, that is maturity. That is spiritual strength.
And honestly, that is what makes you ready, not just for a relationship, but for the bigger responsibilities and challenges ahead.
The truth cannot be overemphasized. Saying the truth at all times, regardless of the consequences, is a virtue that sets the foundation for lasting relationships. That is why I smile when I see people’s checklists for a marriage partner. You’ll often find: “God-fearing,” “financially stable,” “tall,” “beautiful,” “speaks in tongues,” and so on. But rarely do you find “truthful” or “trustworthy.” And yet, without truth, everything else is at risk.
Integrity is the bedrock of peace in both singleness and marriage. It’s not just about how things are today; it’s about building a life for 30, 50 years, and beyond. Truth keeps the foundation strong. Lies may seem small today, but they ripple out into the future with painful consequences.
To date, some people still don’t believe Jesus rose from the dead. Why? Because a few soldiers were paid to tell a lie
Matthew 28:12-15 [MEV] When the chief priests were assembled with the elders and had taken counsel, they gave much money to the soldiers, saying, “You are to say, ‘His disciples came by night and stole Him away while we weresleeping.’ If this comes to the governor’s ears, we will satisfy him and keep you secure.” So they took the money and did as they were instructed. And this saying has been commonly reported among the Jews to this day.
Their decision not to speak the truth has had eternal consequences for countless lives. Whenever we choose deception, no matter how “harmless” it seems, we are potentially robbing others of their peace, their trust, and even their destiny.
Whether you’re single or married, let truth be your banner. If you’re waiting for a spouse, ask the Holy Spirit to open your eyes not just to beauty or charisma, but to integrity. If there’s a red flag to take seriously, it’s the inability to be truthful.
If you’re already married, let truth guide your home. Don’t allow fear or pride to choke honesty. A marriage where truth is absent is one step closer to decay, no matter how spiritually vibrant it may appear on the surface.
May Godhelp us to love the truth, speak the truth, and walk in integrity.
We live in a world where standing up for what’s right can often lead to mockery. Staying chaste has suddenly become old-fashioned. Integrity is gradually disappearing from the body of Christ. I can only imagine the challenges Daniel must have faced from his people. They ridiculed him, laughing at his convictions and calling him foolish. They must have wondered who would reject the King’s food and wine.
Daniel and his companions were in a foreign land, victims of war. No pastors or fellowship coordinators were watching over them. No one would correct them if they strayed. No parents to guide or direct them in the place where they found themselves. They were far from home, far from their mentors and spiritual leaders, with nothing to lose.
Yet, the Bible tells us that Daniel made a firm decision in his heart to be different. He decided to uphold his foundation.
Daniel 1:8 (ERV) But Daniel purposed in his heart that he would not defile himself with the king’s meat, nor with the wine which he drank: therefore he requested of the prince of the eunuchs that he might not defile himself.
It all begins in the heart. As we’ve heard before, no miracle happens on the altar. If you are bitter and selfish as a single person, marriage won’t change that—it will just magnify those traits. If your heart is not in the right place when you’re single, you’ll carry that same misalignment into marriage.
This is why Proverbs warns us about the “strange woman” and the “wicked man”, those whose lips speak deceitfulness. This is why you cannot allow “hot legs” or “deep voice” to be your leading factor in asking for or giving a YES. What is the state of his/her heart?
There will come a time when you’ll be far from the watchful eyes of those who usually guide and encourage you. A season will come when, like Daniel, you’ll be in unfamiliar territory. The question is: when that moment arrives, will you compromise, or will you stand firm in your values? Will the wind blow you away, because of a weak foundation?
God wants us to serve him with the integrity of heart.
In our homes and in our individual lives, God requires that we serve Him with an upright heart. Serve God in the faithfulness of your heart. Seeking to know God and His ways will engender walking in the integrity of your heart, where you are not deceived in your own heart.
Some people try to mock God. They serve God unfaithfully and expect the reward of being faithful.
Be not deceived; God is not mocked: for whatsoever a man soweth, that shall he also reap. – Gal 6:7
What you reap is a function of what you sow; that is God’s word. You can’t serve God without integrity and expect the reward of those that serve God with integrity.
David served God with the integrity of his heart. He was sincere. He was true to himself and to God. He loved God genuinely, he served him with the whole of his heart. He had no other God. Were David’s heart to be opened, you will see him serving God with the truth. He had no skeleton in his cupboard.
So he fed them according to the integrity of his heart; and guided them by the skilfulness of his hands. – Psa 78:72
God promised that if we walk in the integrity of heart and in uprightness, keeping all His statutes, He will establish us. In the works of our hands, in our homes, and on the job, He wants to show Himself faithful.
And if thou wilt walk before me, as David thy father walked, in integrity of heart, and in uprightness, to do according to all that I have commanded thee, and wilt keep my statutes and my judgments: Then I will establish the throne of thy kingdom upon Israel for ever, as I promised to David thy father, saying, There shall not fail thee a man upon the throne of Israel. – 1Ki 9:4 – 5
Let us be true to ourselves. Let us not think we can do things on our own. Let our heartbeat be to do His will. Some of us don’t want to do things God’s way because we think His ways are too difficult.
In our hearts, let us check for any form of deception that may want to deceive our hearts. As a husband or as a wife, seek to serve God with the integrity of your heart. God is searching for those whose hearts are upright towards him.
God bless your marriage.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I have the wisdom of God to do the needful
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Pray that God will teach and instruct you in the way to go
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY I will instruct thee and teach thee in the way which thou shalt go: I will guide thee with mine eye (Psalms 32:8 KJV)
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Discuss the issue of integrity
Do you know how to live with integrity? Taiwo wasn’t really interested in helping Ola with her mathematics assignment. She had consented to it while they were amongst friends and didn’t want to look uncool. The others had clapped for her, Taiwo never felt this good.
Now, Ola was coming over to Taiwo’s house with the assignment, any minute from now. Oh boy! Taiwo suddenly wished she had not agreed to it in the first place. Her favorite show would be coming on the television soon and she didn’t want to miss it.
‘Why the worry?’ Taiwo’s mom asked her. ‘You are wearing out the rug.’
‘I promised to help Ola with her assignment but can’t anymore. I want to watch my favorite show on television.’ Taiwo answered.
‘Now what did Jesus say about that?’ she asked.
‘We should keep our promises?’ Taiwo said.
‘Exactly!’ said her mom.
Jesus said we should not be too hasty to make a promise. Making a quick decision without first thinking it through could be a problem for us like Taiwo is in right now.
But above all things, my brethren, swear not, neither by heaven, neither by the earth, neither by any other oath: but let your yea be yea; and your nay, nay; lest ye fall into condemnation. – James 5:12, KJV
Keeping promises is very important as they help to build our integrity and credibility.
‘So what are you going to do?’ Taiwo’s mom asked her again.
‘I guess I can watch the show next week. Ola won’t be happy if I don’t help her as promised. I have to keep my promise.’ Taiwo said.
I am so proud of you.’ said her mother, clapping for Taiwo.
Prayer: Lord Jesus, help me to keep my promises so I can be a person of integrity and credibility. Also, make me wise enough to not make hasty decisions or promises in your mighty name I pray. Amen.
Action plan: Are there promises you have made to others and you didn’t keep? Pray about them and ask Jesus to help you keep them. Also, ask for forgiveness from these people.
Declaration: My yes is yes. I will not be double-minded.
