Many people enter relationships with high hopes, only to watch them crumble. But why does this happen? Is love not enough? The truth is, love alone does not sustain a relationship. Wisdom, commitment, and divine guidance do.
First, you need to understand that marriage is not the union of two perfect people. Rather, it is the coming together of two imperfect individuals, choosing to walk in love daily and grace as God leads them. No one is 100% perfect, and that’s okay.
However, when relationships fail, there are often clear reasons why.
1. Absence of the Instructor (God)
Marriage was designed by God, and He alone knows how it should function. In Genesis 2:18, God said, “It is not good for man to be alone; I will make a helper suitable for him.” Yet, many couples walk into marriage without the One who created it. When challenges arise, they find themselves lost, with no divine wisdom to navigate through. A relationship without God is like a ship without a compass that drifts or crashes eventually.
2. A Mismatch in Faith
When you marry someone who does not share your faith, you are building on different foundations. A spouse who does not understand your beliefs or values may struggle to align with your vision.
“Can two walk together, except they be agreed?” (Amos 3:3).
This spiritual disconnect creates frustration, leading to discord and, ultimately, failure.
3. Unrealistic Expectations
Expectations are natural, but when they are too high or completely unrealistic, they set the stage for disappointment. Many people enter relationships with fairy-tale dreams, only to face the reality that their partner is human. Instead of focusing on what they lack, appreciate the little things they do. A heart of gratitude strengthens love.
4. Lack of Purpose
God did not institute marriage just for companionship or procreation. It’s also a divine partnership with a purpose (Genesis 1:28). When a couple lacks a shared vision, marriage can become monotonous, leading to frustration and dissatisfaction. Purpose fuels passion. When both partners understand their God-given assignment, it brings joy and fulfillment to their union.
5. Selfishness
Marriage is not about me, it’s about us. When selfishness takes over, decisions are made without considering the other person’s feelings or well-being.
“Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves.” (Philippians 2:3).
A healthy relationship thrives on mutual sacrifice, compromise, and a willingness to prioritize the needs of one’s partner.
Every relationship has challenges, but with God as the foundation, shared faith, realistic expectations, purpose, and selflessness, it can stand the test of time.
Are you building your relationship on the right foundation? If not, it’s never too late to start.
“Unless the Lord builds the house, the builders labor in vain.” (Psalm 127:1)
Let God be the center, and watch your love flourish.
Storms are a part of life. They are inevitable. It’s either you have just faced a storm, you are presently facing one or you will face a storm in the near future. Storms are also called challenges. As believers, God wants us to face and overcome whatever storms life throws at us because He has equipped us. Victory comes after overcoming challenges, and that’s where we get the crown.
In life, no one ever gets a crown without overcoming something.
There are, however, strategies for overcoming our peculiar storm. Storms may come in the form of financial difficulties, barrenness, health issues, misunderstanding, etc.
Let’s look at the scripture
Isaiah 40:31 [KJV] But they that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength, they shall mount up with wings as eagles, they shall run, and not be weary, and they shall walk and not faint.
God wants us to be like eagles that soar when the wind is contrary. The eagle does not flap its wings to fly but uses the wind to its advantage to soar.
This singular ability distinguishes the eagle from all other birds. It’s the ability to soar.
But the secret to soaring above whatever challenges we may be facing is our ability to wait on the Lord.
Waiting on the Lord is not worrying, it’s not complaining, it’s not thinking about problems, it’s not crying, it’s not getting depressed. It is spending (by discipline) quality time praying in the spirit and worshipping God, then He gives us the supernatural ability to soar above the storm.
Don’t concentrate on the storm. Take your eyes off the storm. The storm was mentioned once. So the focus should be on you. You mount up with wings as eagles, you, run and are not weary…
As you focus on yourself and what the Holy Spirit can do in and through you, you begin to receive strength, strategies, wisdom, and divine favour and before long, you will overcome whatever challenges life throws at you.
There is no shortcut to a life of victory. It is a praying life. Jesus said, “Men ought to Pray always”. Praying in the Spirit or praying in tongues works like magic. It generates miraculous power that the devil cannot master.
I encourage you to do this and victory is on the other side of the storm.
I’ve often been asked how I can tell if a guy is the right person for me.
How do I know if a woman is the ideal partner to share a lifetime with?
After dating someone a few times, how can I identify if they’re a good fit for me?
What are the key indicators that a relationship has the potential to be successful?
Let’s take a look at the scripture.
Isa 8:20 To the law and the testimony: if they speak not according to this word, it is because there is no light in them.
Wow! Their speech! That’s the telltale sign!
The Bible says that if their words don’t align with God’s word or are abusive, it’s because they lack inner light.
When they have this light, they’ll speak in accordance with His teachings and commands.
Here, “light” refers to understanding!
From their speech, you can discern their stance!
For instance, a man who distorts the Bible to justify his immoral actions lacks illumination. The absence of light is why they are unable to speak according to God’s word.
Furthermore, when there is no apparent light, you have no right to associate yourself with darkness, even in the slightest way.
Jhn 8:12 (MSG) Jesus once again addressed them: “I am the world’s Light. No one who follows me stumbles around in the darkness. I provide plenty of light to live in.”
Take a look at another scripture:
2Co 6:14 (MSG) Don’t become partners with those who reject God. How can you make a partnership out of right and wrong? That’s not partnership; that’s war. Is light best friends with dark?
It’s simple: run away from every form of darkness.
In Jesus’ name, I pray that God will guide and direct you.
For couples, God’s light in your marriage will never fade or extinguish.
The fact that God Himself instituted marriage is enough reason that your marriage will be great if you cooperate with Him.
He originated and instituted it. It was His idea, he was the one who said:
Gen 2:18 (KJV) And the LORD God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him.
God started the idea of marriage. It is wise to consult Him all the way! He has the template. He owns the blueprint. Forget about being romantic, go after His wisdom if you want to have a great relationship or marriage.
2. Go for knowledge
It is not enough to be a Christian or a believer, you have to go for knowledge in the place of marriage!
In schools, you learn, graduate, and get a certificate. In marriage, you get a certificate on the day you resume, and then the learning begins. You never graduate; you keep learning, and you must be open to learning and adjusting all the way. In marriage, you cannot insist on your own!
3. Get Mentors
Who is your relationship mentor? Who is your marriage mentor? This is important to avoiding the tormentors of life!
Those who have been married for several years have done what you are trying to do! It is a lot of wisdom to have somebody you are talking to!
Beware of an intending spouse who has no authority figure over him or her!
That is not a good sign!
4. Don’t joke with Prayers
The last reason I want to discuss today to ensure you have a great relationship or marriage has to do with prayers.
Pray very well and pray very hard!
Pray at all times committing your ways unto the Lord!
Acknowledge God in your prayers concerning your decisions!
Pro 3:6 (KJV) In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths.
Thinking about marriage can feel a little overwhelming, right? On the one hand, you’re excited about the idea of finding your person, someone to binge-watch sermons with and share late-night heart-to-hearts about God’s purpose. On the other, you’re wondering: Am I really ready for this whole ‘till death do us part’ thing?
Spoiler alert: Marriage prep is less about color schemes and cake tastings and way more about becoming the person God’s calling you to be. So, let’s talk about what it really means to prepare for marriage as a Christian single.
Step 1: Get Your Spiritual House in Order
If you want a Christ-centered marriage, it starts with you and God, period. Marriage doesn’t magically fix your faith journey—it amplifies where you already are.
Start by asking yourself: How’s my relationship with Jesus?
Are you carving out time for prayer and Bible study?
Do you feel grounded in your identity as a child of God?
Are you actively serving in your church or community?
Proverbs 24:3 reminds us, “By wisdom a house is built, and through understanding it is established.” Building your spiritual house now creates a solid foundation for the future. Because when the honeymoon glow fades and real life hits (it will), that foundation will be what sustains you.
Step 2: Understand God’s Purpose for Marriage
Marriage isn’t just about being in love—it’s about glorifying God together. Ephesians 5:31-32 talks about how marriage reflects the relationship between Christ and the Church. That’s a pretty big deal!
So, before you walk down the aisle, take time to wrestle with questions like:
Why do I want to get married?
How can I honor God as a spouse?
What does “sacrificial love” really look like in day-to-day life?
Having clarity about God’s purpose for marriage will help you navigate everything from choosing a partner to tackling those inevitable “what’s for dinner” debates.
Step 3: Work on You
Let’s keep it real: No one is bringing 100% perfection into marriage. We’re all a little messy (and that’s okay). But this is the perfect time to start working on your emotional health and self-awareness.
Learn to communicate: Can you express your feelings without bottling them up or exploding like a shaken soda can?
Handle conflict gracefully: Marriage isn’t about if conflicts happen; it’s about how you deal with them.
Cultivate independence: Being financially responsible and emotionally stable now sets the stage for a healthier partnership later.
And hey, don’t shy away from counseling. Whether it’s premarital counseling or just a “let’s talk through my baggage” session, it’s wisdom, not weakness.
Step 4: Build Healthy Friendships and Mentorships
If marriage is the destination, your community is the road map. Surrounding yourself with godly friends and mentors can make a world of difference.
Here’s why:
Friends keep you accountable and grounded.
Mentors share wisdom from their own marriage journey.
Your faith community helps you grow spiritually and emotionally.
Plus, being involved in community activities is a great way to meet potential partners. Just saying.
Step 5: Practice Healthy Dating Habits
If you’re currently dating—or planning to—it’s important to start practicing the kind of habits that will carry into marriage.
Communication is key: Talk about faith, goals, and those non-negotiables early.
Mutual respect matters: Learn to honor each other’s boundaries and celebrate each other’s strengths.
Date with purpose: If you’re serious about marriage, don’t just date to pass the time. Keep the end goal in mind.
And remember, red flags don’t turn green with time. If something feels off, take it to God in prayer and seek wise counsel.
Step 6: Pray (A Lot)
This might sound like a given, but seriously—pray about everything. Ask God to prepare your heart, guide your steps, and reveal His will for your life.
Philippians 4:6 reminds us, “Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.” Translation? God’s got this.
Quick Tips for Christian Singles Preparing for Marriage
Be patient: God’s timing > your timeline.
Stay rooted in Scripture: Let His Word guide your decisions.
Enjoy the journey: Singleness isn’t a waiting room—it’s a season for growth, adventure, and discovery.
The Bottom Line
Marriage is an incredible gift, but it’s also a big responsibility. Preparing for it means focusing on spiritual growth, emotional health, and healthy relationships now, so you can step into this new chapter with confidence and purpose.
So, whether you’re actively dating, single as a Pringle, or somewhere in between, remember this: God is shaping your story in ways you can’t even imagine. Trust Him with the process—and enjoy the ride.
Who knows? Your Christ-centered love story might just be closer than you think.
