Kisses and Huggs Club

Is It Just A Feeling or Love?

by Rev Dunamis Okunowo | Oct 28, 2022 | Singles and Married

Reading Time: 4 minutes

Is It Just A Feeling or Love? One of the most abused statements in this generation is “I am in love.” Two people met themselves, there was strong body chemistry, and they hit on the very moment they set eyes on each other, it was as if they have known each for a long time, in a matter of hours, they are intertwined in each other’s embrace, locked up in sex and everything looks great for them. Is that love? Unfortunately, the answer is a No-No!

Pastor, why do you say so? What about love at first sight?

Well, there is nothing like love at first sight, what really happens most times is lust at first sight. If you think well, what we call love, at first sight, is usually predicated on the intense feelings for each other when you set eyes on each other.

There may be a “knowing” at first sight, where you get to know who the right person is for you either by revelation or by intuition, but there is nothing like love at first sight.

Is It Just A Feeling or Love? To love a person, you have to know that person. You don’t really know a person at first sight, you may have feelings, but you don’t really love him or her because you don’t know him or her.

A Feeling is not love, even though, there may be a feeling in love. Feelings can be fickle, they can change, it is on the surface and if you marry because of feeling alone, you will be heavily disappointed, because there would be times in marriage, there would be no iota of feelings. Will you go and divorce?

In the scripture, Amnon had a strong feeling for Tamar. (2 Sam 13.) The feelings were so strong that he became sick and lean. He was so vexed with love, some other translation says he was fond of Tamar while some others say he was obsessed.

Pastor, you mean somebody can be very fond of me, thinking of me every time, and yet not be in love? The answer is Yes. Pastor, you mean somebody can be all over me, showering me with gifts, ready to “die” for me, cannot sleep without me, cannot do without calling me ten times in a day, and yet not be in love? The answer is Yes!

In the scripture, it says concerning Amnon:

“And Amnon was so vexed, that he fell sick for his sister Tamar; for she was a virgin; and Amnon thought it hard for him to do any thing to her.” (2 Samuel 13:2, KJV)

Message Translation:

“Amnon was obsessed with his sister Tamar to the point of making himself sick over her. She was a virgin, so he couldn’t see how he could get his hands on her.” (2 Samuel 13:2, MSG)

The feelings were so strong that his body began to collapse. That ought to be strong love, but sadly, it is not.

He calls me twenty times a day, it may not be love. She may be calling somebody else, thirty times a day as well. She spends weekends with me, it may not be love. She may be spending weekends with other guys as well. He gives me a lot of money. It may not be love, he may just see his money as a tool to get what he wants and when he doesn’t want it, he withdraws his money.

I can go on and on. Is It Just A Feeling or Love?

You would have concluded Amnon was so so much in love.

But then he lied to his father and to Tamar. True love is sincere.

He ended up raping Tamar. True love protects, it does not violate!

He forces and uses scripture to manipulate you into sleeping with him and he says he is in love? He is not only lying, he is lying in state!

But Pastor, he is truthful. He told me that I am not the only one he is sleeping with and that I am the only one he would marry! Then what are you doing in that kind of relationship where you are being told with audacity and effrontery such sexual atrocities? How did you get yourself into that place?

Amon, after raping Tamar and getting what he wanted, sent her out of his door and the scripture says something very powerful:

“Then Amnon hated her exceedingly; so that the hatred wherewith he hated her was greater than the love wherewith he had loved her. And Amnon said unto her, Arise, be gone.” (2 Samuel 13:15, KJV)

In verse 2, he loved her to the point of obsession. In verse 15, he hated her exceedingly, after getting what he wanted. That is not love. It is spelled L-U-S-T!

There is a huge difference between love and feelings!

For married couples, one of the prayers you should keep praying is that God’s love is shed abroad in your hearts. You may wake up some of those days and feelings seem to have travelled, at such times, your love must still remain firm because you are in a covenant with your spouse. You should not feel before you love in marriage, you should love, feelings or no feelings! In marriage, love moves away from feeling completely to commitments!

Is It Just A Feeling or Love?