Handling A Difficult Spouse. Yesterday, we looked at four of the ways we can handle a difficult spouse. We looked at:
1. Prayers
2. Patience
3. Perspective
4. Praise
We continue from here.
Handling A Difficult Spouse
5. Persist in doing good
1 Pet. 3:1-4 talks to women about dealing with a difficult husband. They should have a quiet and calm spirit (sweet spirit). It’s difficult but possible with the help of the Holy Spirit. Keep your smiles. Don’t retaliate. Avoid arguments. Avoid talking back or answering rudely.
Just keep calm. Don’t give fire for fire, it can burn down the house. You believe God is already fighting for you. Keep the atmosphere cool by being full of thanksgiving, worship, and praise.
1Pet 3:7 talks to husbands dealing with difficult wives. They should see their wives as the feminine part of the covenant of marriage that deserves to be treated with honor or else their prayers will be hindered.
When husbands treat their wives well in tenderness and with honor, God usually rewards them with abundant prosperity. Avoid yielding to the temptation to retaliate. Understand that there are some things you can never understand about being a woman. You just love her all the same and seek to be there for her. It is not everything you will criticize, pass judgment and try to fix.
Handling A Difficult Spouse
6. People’s intervention
This is important especially since not all types of difficult spouses or situations can be handled on your own. Sometimes you might need the intervention of professional counselors, therapy and someone to help you through with a difficult spouse. Especially in cases of infidelity. It must also be noted that you should be careful who you talk to about your spouse. Confidentiality must be maintained. Such a person should handle the issue maturely, offering solutions and not judgment or criticism
7. Packaging
This is keeping your soul and body together. Avoid pity parties and self-pity. Anything you put pity on does not heal on time. You feel bad about what is happening but keep faith alive. Faith will make you smile and give you a reason to dance. God is the judge and your covenant witness between the husband and wife. He still restores and compensates the offended.
Look good, because the truth is that there is still a lot of good in you. No body should determine your joy. Look good physically, intellectually and emotional. Don’t yield to depression. Tell yourself never again. Pick up yourself. Even God is saying, arise and shine.
Your marriage will thrive.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY My marriage will work. I will give myself to prayers, patience, I will have a better perspective, I will be persistent in doing good, so help me God.
PRAYERS FOR THE DAY Father give me your wisdom and strength by your Holy Spirit to navigate this times of difficulty
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Husbands, you in turn must treat your wives with tenderness, viewing them as feminine partners who deserve to be honored, for they are co-heirs with you of the “divine grace of life,” so that nothing will hinder your prayers. 1 Peter 3:7 TPT
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Follow the steps to dealing with, your spouse whenever he/she is proving difficult
Dealing with A Difficult Spouse. Whether a spouse is perceived as difficult or they are actually difficult we need to arm ourselves with what to do. It also becomes a handy tool in helping others who are going through difficulty in their marriage.
We are to be reminded that the standard in our marriage is that of being Christ-like.
The same principle is used to solve little issues as well as big issues in marriage. Marriage is supposed to be till death do us part and we should not see divorce as an easy way out.
We are therefore to equip ourselves with tools to enable us to cope and manage in times of crisis.
Note that these steps do not exclude seeking and going for counseling (professional intervention) and seeking therapy for more difficult issues like infidelity, abuse of any kind, etc
Dealing with A Difficult Spouse.
The seven steps are:
1. Prayers
Please don’t underestimate the power of prayers. By prayers, I don’t mean complaining. There are principles in prayers. Don’t complain about your spouse to God, pray about and for him/her.
Prayer changes you, changes the atmosphere in the marriage, and changes your spouse. Our prayer has to be done in faith. We are to align our thoughts, actions, and words with our prayers. Don’t pray for your spouse and then nullify the prayers by talking evil of your spouse. Don’t talk about the situation, talk about the solution. Receive wisdom from God and walk in that wisdom.
2. Patience
You need patience. We obtain the promise (of a better marriage) by faith and patience. Sometimes it takes time before what we pray for manifests in the physical. Be patient and have a good attitude while at it. You will feel like giving up, don’t. If you give up, you give up too soon.
3. Perspective
You may just need to change the way you view the situation. What may be causing you sleepless nights may be solved by changing your perspective. If you will just show a little empathy. Try to be understanding. For example, if your spouse is frigid, don’t just scream at her. Understand and help her through the fact that she had been abused sexually. Understand your spouse’s background, and personality and use that to evaluate the issue.
4. Praise
When your spouse is being difficult, don’t throw away the baby with the bath water. There are still some good qualities in them. Focus on their good and praise them for those good virtues. The truth is that when we are having issues with our spouse we tend to see their weaknesses. Don’t yield to the temptation of complaining and nagging about their weaknesses.
These are four of the steps in Dealing with A Difficult Spouse. I will continue tomorrow by God’s grace.
Your marriage will thrive
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY My marriage will work. I give myself to the study of God’s word to know what to do. I have wisdom
PRAYERS FOR THE DAY Father give me your wisdom and strength to navigate this times
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY And now let me speak to the wives. Be devoted to your own husbands, so that even if some of them do not obey the Word of God, your kind conduct may win them over without you saying a thing. For when they observe your pure, godly life before God, it will impact them deeply. 1 Peter 3:1 – 2 TPT
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Follow the steps to dealing with your spouse whenever he/she is proving difficult
