Relationship and Marriage Red Flags! Top 10 Signs You Need Help Part 1

by Rev Dunamis Okunowo | May 22, 2024 | Singles and Married

Relationship and Marriage Red Flags! Top 10 Signs You Need Help

Let’s talk about something that’s really important, but can be tough to acknowledge: when our relationship or marriage needs a little or a lot of help. As a married person, you know that relationships take work. And sometimes, despite our best efforts, things can start to feel off. The connection that once felt so strong starts to fade, and you find yourself wondering if everything is okay.

Well, wonder no more! Today, we’re diving into the top 10 signs that your marriage might need a little TLC.

1. You’re barely talking (and when you do, it’s only to argue)

Communication is key in any relationship, but when the only conversations you’re having are heated ones, that’s a red flag. As Ephesians 4:29 in The Message Translation reminds us, “Watch the way you talk. Let nothing foul or dirty come out of your mouth. Say only what helps, each word a gift.” Make an effort to have meaningful, respectful conversations with your partner. Set aside dedicated time to talk about things that matter, and make a conscious effort to listen actively and respond thoughtfully.

In a healthy relationship, communication should be open, honest, and respectful. If you find yourself avoiding conversations or only talking to argue, it’s time to reassess your communication style. Ask yourself: Are we only talking about surface-level issues, or are we diving deeper into our thoughts, feelings, and desires? Are we actively listening to each other, or are we just waiting for the other person to finish speaking so we can respond?

2. You feel more like roommates than partners

This is another one of Relationship and Marriage Red Flags! Remember when you used to be each other’s rock? If you’re feeling more like cohabitants than soulmates, something’s amiss. As singles in courtship, you are no longer excited or looking forward to your spouse! That is a red flag! As couples, you are emotional disenfranchised from your partner, well, that is a red flag! What do you do? Make time for regular date nights and activities that bring you closer together. Deliberately seek to invest in your relationship or reach out for professional help. On Kisses and Huggs Club, we have several courses designed to rekindle your love as couples!

It’s essential to prioritize quality time together, doing things that bring you joy and closeness. This can be as simple as cooking dinner together, going for a walk, or watching a movie. The key is to make an effort to reconnect and strengthen your bond. Ask yourself: When was the last time we did something fun together? When did we last have a meaningful conversation about our hopes and dreams?

3. Intimacy is a distant memory

Here is another on of This is another one of Relationship and Marriage Red Flags! Physical and emotional intimacy are essential in a healthy marriage. If you’re feeling disconnected from your partner in this way, it’s time to address it. As 1 Corinthians 7:3-5 reminds us, “The husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband. The wife does not have authority over her own body but yields it to her husband. In the same way, the husband does not have authority over his own body but yields it to his wife.” The frequency of sex can determine the health of your marriage! Meanwhile, the constancy of sex as singles and unmarried can signal a terrible error in that relationship.

Intimacy is about more than just physical closeness; it’s about emotional connection and vulnerability. If you’re feeling disconnected from your partner, it’s essential to address the issue head-on. This might involve having an open and honest conversation about your desires, needs, and boundaries. Ask yourself: When was the last time we had a meaningful, intimate conversation about our desires and needs? Are we prioritizing our emotional and physical connection?

4. You’re feeling resentful or bitter

Unresolved issues can lead to some serious resentment. If you’re feeling like you’re harboring anger or frustration towards your partner, it’s time to talk things through. As James 1:19-20 says, “My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, because human anger does not produce the righteousness that God desires.” Don’t try to bury resentments, it will only end up becoming like magma within the crust of the earth. One day, there will be volcanic eruption from the bitterness stored within, and that would not always be a pleasant time.

Resentment can build up over time, causing resentment and anger to simmer just below the surface. It’s essential to address these feelings before they boil over. Make an effort to listen to your partner’s perspective, and be willing to apologize and forgive. Ask yourself: What am I holding onto? What do I need to let go of? What do I need to communicate to my partner?

5. You’re not fighting fairly (or at all)

This is another one of This is another one of Relationship and Marriage Red Flags! Conflict is a natural part of any relationship, but when you’re not addressing issues or are fighting dirty, it’s a problem. As Proverbs 15:1 says, “A gentle answer deflects anger, but harsh words stir up wrath.” Learn to communicate effectively and respectfully, even in the heat of the moment. Do not demonize your partner. Face the issue, not your partner. Learn to separate the person from the action so that you won’t end up hurting each other.

When conflicts arise, it’s essential to address them in a healthy and constructive way. This means avoiding blame, criticism, and personal attacks. Instead, focus on the issue at hand and work together to find a solution. Make an effort to listen actively, remain calm, and communicate your thoughts and feelings clearly.

Ask yourself: Am I addressing issues as they arise, or am I letting them simmer beneath the surface? Am I fighting fairly, or am I using underhanded tactics to “win” the argument? Am I willing to listen to my partner’s perspective and work together to find a solution?

Remember, relationships take work, and conflicts are an inevitable part of the journey. By learning to communicate effectively, address issues as they arise, and fight fairly, you can build a stronger, healthier relationship that will last a lifetime.