The fear of getting the right spouse who wouldn’t treat you harshly or abuse and jilt you is a terrible source of pressure.
There is also the fear of not meeting and having your right spouse in time.
The right way to handle this fear and its pressure is to focus your mind on the truth that God has the right spouse for you, and he or she will come at God’s appointed time.
Fear can immobilize and incapacitate. Fear can also cause you to hasten unnecessarily into dangerous terrains.
Whichever way, you need to know that God has not given you the Spirit of fear. Don’t end up marrying an unbeliever because of fear of getting old.
You cannot try to fix a pressure by violating God’s injunctions. It’s not going to work that way! You cannot jump ahead of God’s timing and expect things to work out. At the end of the day, what you venture into out of fear keeps the process elongated.
For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind. – 2Ti 1:7 KJV
Cast out the Spirit of fear and trust your father to give you the best.
If you missed yesterday’s devotional, you can read it HERE
Comparison Traps
Another dangerous source of pressure is comparing yourself with your friends and colleagues, especially when they are all either engaged or married.
You can either be strengthened or intimidated by your friends; do not be intimidated.
Understand that you are uniquely different from every other person; your destiny is quite different from theirs, so your life’s story is also different.
A friend’s success should not determine your direction. It is comparison traps that often drive one into adulterous relationships all in the bid to ‘belong’ or to meet financial pressures.
Avoid this trap as much as possible, because when you keep trying to be like everybody else, you will be like nobody else at the end of the day.
For we dare not make ourselves of the number, or compare ourselves with some that commend themselves: but they measuring themselves by themselves, and comparing themselves among themselves, are not wise. – 2Co 10:12 KJV
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I refuse to stay under pressure of any kind. I am in control through the Spirit of God.
PRAYERS FOR THE DAY Lord, strengthen me daily to withstand every kind of pressures in Jesus name.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Jas 1:13 MSG Don’t let anyone under pressure to give in to evil say, “God is trying to trip me up.” God is impervious to evil, and puts evil in no one’s way.
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Identify all sources of pressures and work towards eliminating one at a time.
Dear singles, It’s vital we don’t compare ourselves with one another. That is why this topic is being taught. We started yesterday and we looked at reasons you cannot compare yourself with others. You can read it here.
For we dare not make ourselves of the number, or compare ourselves with some that commend themselves: but they measuring themselves by themselves, and comparing themselves among themselves, are not wise. (2 Corinthians 10:12 KJV)
Dear singles, these are the following things to do to become free from comparison traps?
1. Know who you are in God To overcome comparison traps, you have to know who you are in God! Declare your stand in God and keep confessing that.
2. Acknowledge the good things in you. The scriptures says
That the communication of thy faith may become effectual by the acknowledging of every good thing which is in you in Christ Jesus. (Philemon 1:6 KJV)
When you recognize and acknowledge every good thing in you, your gifting and talents, the communication of your faith or the effectiveness of your spiritual life will become a reality.
3. Fill yourself with God’s word To deal with comparison traps, you have to keep filling yourself with God’s word. The word of God is like a mirror.
But we all, with open face beholding as in a glass the glory of the Lord, are changed into the same image from glory to glory, even as by the Spirit of the Lord. (2 Corinthians 3:18 KJV)
When you begin to read and study God’s word, you will be changed into the picture of that which God shows you in His word. You will be free from comparing yourself with other mortals.
4. Learn to praise God for all things. Learn to praise God always and appreciate Him for what He has done and what He is doing in your life! At the root of comparison trap is an ungrateful heart. As you begin to genuinely appreciate God for His mercies and His blessings, you will be severed from unnecessary pressure to compare yourself with others.
I pray for you this morning and by the Spirit of God, I declare that all wrong spirits behind competitive jealousy lose their power over you in Jesus name!
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I will not be a victim of competitive jealousy
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Declare over your life your freedom from all wrong spirits
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Now unto him that is able to keep you from falling, and to present you faultless before the presence of his glory with exceeding joy, (Jude 1:24 KJV)
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Free yourself form all comparisons from today
For we dare not make ourselves of the number, or compare ourselves with some that commend themselves: but they measuring themselves by themselves, and comparing themselves among themselves, are not wise. (2 Corinthians 10:12 KJV)
Why would the Bible say that falling into comparison trap is foolish?
Here are few reasons
1. You are unique You are uniquely created. There are over seven billion people on planet earth and yet nobody else has an exact match of your fingerprints. You have been uniquely packaged for a specific assignment on earth. It is foolhardy then for one to compare himself with another.
2. You have different assignments Everybody has a unique purpose to fulfill on earth. God told Jeremiah that
Before I formed thee in the belly I knew thee; and before thou camest forth out of the womb I sanctified thee, and I ordained thee a prophet unto the nations. (Jeremiah 1:5 KJV)
Your purpose precedes your creation. That is how powerful it can get! Everything you need on earth to fulfill your purpose was packaged into you while God is creating you. You are not inferior, you are gifted and you only need to discover it!
3. You have a different life span Some people would have achieved so much by thirty that you are wondering how they are able to do so many things in a few years. But then before they are fifty, they are out of this world. Some people are great achievers too, just that they are latecomers. Their limelight begins when they are over forty or fifty! Stop comparing yourself with what others are doing, focus on God to help you do what you are supposed to do!
4. You will weary yourself When you compare yourself, you will end up getting tired because you will be drawn to do what you are not gifted to do. You will want to impress others and you will soon get tired of trying to do that!
5. You will be distracted The comparison trap breaks your focus. It gets you on the wrong lane of purpose. It is a wasted and futile effort with no reward from God.
Tommorrow, I will show you practical ways to become free from comparison traps.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I will not be a victim of competitive jealousy
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Declare over your life your freedom from all wrong spirits
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Now unto him that is able to keep you from falling, and to present you faultless before the presence of his glory with exceeding joy, (Jude 1:24 KJV)
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Free yourself form all comparisons from today
Stress can simply be defined as a state of mental or emotional strain or tension resulting from adverse or demanding circumstances.
This definition helps us to understand that stress is a tension or strain and it could be mental or emotional. It could also be physical or spiritual.
Jesus talked about those who are weary and heavy laden
Then Jesus said, “Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest. Matthew 11:28 NLT
Usually, since we are spirit beings, any strain on our spiritual life will have a way of impacting our whole being. Whatever affects our relationship with God affect the whole of our being.
Chief among the things that causes stress or strain on our relationship with God is sin.
So it’s possible, to have an unconfessed sin in your life and be doing through stress as a result.
Or maybe we fail to put our trust in God, or maybe we are walking in the flesh or not following the leading or guidance of the Holy spirit. All this causes us stress which will eventually cause a strain in our marriage.
A good example of this is when Abram and Sarah decided to get pregnant by Hagar and gave birth to Ishamel. There was so much strain and tension in the marriage.
Anger, strife, malice, not walking in love and all other works of the flesh also causes stress in marriage
There are some other stressors in marriage that are not as a result of sin but are the once we put on ourselves.
I will mention a few of them.
1. Financial pressure 2. Dealing with in-laws 3. Comparison 4. Doing beyond ourselves 5. Not minding our business 6. Not being able to say No 7. Being Unforgiving to our spouse 8. Not being open and transparent. 9. Unrealistic expectations 10. Ungratefulness
Now let’s handle these stressors one by name. To open our eyes to how these simple issues can bring about and cause a lot of stress to our marriage thereby causing a strain in our relationship with our loved one.
1. Financial pressures and not being able to manage our finances.
We know that money answereth all things
A feast is made for laughter, and wine maketh merry: but money answereth all things. Ecclesiastes 10:19 KJV.
Our ability to cut our coat according to our cloth will go a long way to determine whether we will be putting a lot of stress on our marriage or not.
Delaying gratification, being able to save a little portion for the rainy day no matter his small, being prudent, living on a budget and not being sentimental are all very good virtues.
2. Dealing with in-laws.
This requires a lot of wisdom, tact, patience and working together with your spouse to make sure you are always together on the same page. The most important person in this equation is your spouse. The covenant of marriage places your spouse above your parents.
You honor your parents, bible is very clear about that but you also don’t dishonor your spouse for the sake of your parents or in-laws. There is no one answer fits all but whichever way, follow the bible and follow the Holy spirit guidelines.
There may be times you have to sacrifice beyond what you normally would have, if you are sure God is leading you, obey. God usually rewards such acts tremendously.
Let me stop here today. I will continue tomorrow by God grace.
May God grant us more understanding beyond this teaching.
God bless our marriage.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I am a wise spouse. I know how to relate with people.
PRAYERS FOR THE DAY Lord, give me wisdom
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY 1 Peter 3:7 Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honour unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayers be not hindered.
