One of the greatest challenges that a man will face is how to care of his wife. This is not because a man is reluctant to do so, but simply because the definition of care in a man’s brain is sometimes exact opposite of how a lady defines care. I am not talking about when you’ve just fallen in love. Mostly at that time, your eyes are not open to reality then. At the times when you’ve just fallen in love, everything he does is okay and everything she does is okay!
A woman sees C-A-R-E as availability, attention and some good money! A man often sees C-A-R-E as money, money and money, and that is where the problem is?
Didn’t I just send you money? How can you say I don’t care? Didn’t I just send you to Dubai? You see, a woman that truly loves you doesn’t mind going to Dubai, but she doesn’t want to go alone! She wants to go with you!
I know there are some women who see C-A-R-E as money, money and money! This isn’t a genuine love, and at the end of the day, they are still frustrated despite the money because the real need is never met!
This is the bane of ladies who are of marriageable age, but refuse to love and be loved appropriately because of some man who is giving them money or who rents an apartment for them somewhere.
You call them big girls, but they are really small inside! The big girls are not the ones spending some ill-gotten money that they accumulated from using their bodies as a commodity; the big girls are the ones who refuse to compromise in the face of provocation, who decides to stand up for God!
If you are engaged to a lady who never asks for your time and attention but only wants you to send her money, you should really be worried! She is probably getting the emotional fulfillment somewhere else and you are just a tool in her hands, to get money!
On the other hand, if a lady never stresses you for money but only asks that you call regularly and be there for her, she really loves you! Though, there could be an extreme of this as well, when the lady in question is overly needy because of past experiences and self-esteem issues.
So how do you take care of lady? Be there for her. Take care of her by spending time with her. But, I have to provide for her, so I am busy and I have to be away! Yes, but you have to create time out of no time, to be available for her. May you not get the money and then lose her!
You need to understand that it is a need of hers! Initially she might not complain because the money is always there, but after a while, she would rather let you have her than the money having her.
Why do you think some rich women get depressed? Haven’t you seen ladies living in palatial mansions who are so unhappy and depressed?
Money answereth all things…that it can answer!
Like it is often said, can money buy sleep? Nay, it may buy waterbed, not sleep!
Can money buy a good heart, nay, it may get a beautiful face, not necessarily a good heart. One of the worst things that can happen to a man is a stunningly beautiful face sitting on an evil heart! Conversely, one of the greatest tragedies that can happen to a woman is a stupendously rich man and a handsome face sitting on an abusive, egocentric and violent man!
His money buys your body, your mouth and your mind! You can’t even think for yourself, that is not marriage! Sadly this is where a lot of ladies find themselves! A lady called me sometimes ago weeping profusely; that she has all the money but she cannot spend! She was living in a prison!
It is for this reason that when you are talking of a relationship or marriage with a person, the most singular important factor is God’s choice for you!
And then some people will come up with some funny ideas like; what if God gives me somebody I don’t love? What you don’t know is that God is not man, that arithmetic or geometry will never be.
That God will lead you to somebody you hate all your life? It never happens like that! You will always love what God offers because He gives you the best! Yes, initially you may not cooperate with God’s plan because of selfishness and greed, but when you come to embrace God’s plan, you will see the wisdom of God, and you will be full of praises to God!
Only God knows the man or woman that will last the whole journey with you. Only God knows the one that will pack his or her load along the way. Only God knows the one that might pull the trigger on you five years later. Only God knows the one that wouldn’t mind using you for some ritual… because God looks into the heart…while you are looking at the bank account and the face! You see why it is important you follow God’s direction?
What if you are already married and you feel you made a mistake? Stay there and correct that mistake, with prayers, good attitudes, wisdom and a lot of maturity, God can heal your marriage and make it good!
May God help us all!
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I am not confused. I am being led of God
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord lead me into that place by your side.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY My voice shalt thou hear in the morning, O Lord; in the morning will I direct my prayer unto thee, and will look up. (Psalms 5:3 KJV)
Today’s Focus: Prayers For The Manifest Presence Of God
Thanksgiving
Thank God for making His manifest Presence available to you.
Isaiah 37:16 (KJV) O LORD of hosts, God of Israel, that dwellest between the cherubims, thou art the God, even thou alone, of all the kingdoms of the earth: thou hast made heaven and earth.
Nation/Church
Pray for God’s manifest Presence to bring joy and peace to your nation and the church
Isaiah 55:12 (KJV) For ye shall go out with joy, and be led forth with peace: the mountains and the hills shall break forth before you into singing, and all the trees of the field shall clap their hands.
Pastors/Parents/Mentors
Pray for God to bless your pastors, parents and mentors
Isaiah 55:13 (KJV) Instead of the thorn shall come up the fir tree, and instead of the brier shall come up the myrtle tree: and it shall be to the LORD for a name, for an everlasting sign that shall not be cut off.
Finance
Declare that the manifest Presence of God brings you abundant supply
Philippians 4:19 (AMP) And my God will liberally supply (fill to the full) your every need according to His riches in glory in Christ Jesus.
Family
Declare salvation over your family
Deuteronomy 1:33 (KJV) Who went in the way before you, to search you out a place to pitch your tents in, in fire by night, to shew you by what way ye should go, and in a cloud by day.
Warfare
Come against schemes of the devil to rob you of God’s manifest Presence
Exodus 15:3 (KJV) The LORD is a man of war: the LORD is his name.
Desire for the Month
Pray for your desires this month
Exodus 33:14 (KJV) And he said, My presence shall go with thee, and I will give thee rest.
Psalm 91 Declaration
Psalms 91:1 (KJV) He that dwelleth in the secret place of the most High shall abide under the shadow of the Almighty.
Blood Declaration
By the Blood of Jesus I have God’s manifest Presence
Revelation 12:11 (KJV) And they overcame him by the blood of the Lamb, and by the word of their testimony; and they loved not their lives unto the death.
Pray that the manifest Presence of God will encompass you, causing His love to flow ceaselessly through you
Philippians 1:9 (KJV) And this I pray, that your love may abound yet more and more in knowledge and in all judgment;
Healing
Declare healing over that sickness
Malachi 4:2 (KJV) But unto you that fear my name shall the Sun of righteousness arise with healing in his wings; and ye shall go forth, and grow up as calves of the stall.
Favour/Mercy Today
Pray for God’s mercy through His manifest Presence
Psalms 119:41 (KJV) Let thy mercies come also unto me, O LORD, even thy salvation, according to thy word.
This devotional is continued from yesterday where we talked about dangerous myths singles have to forgo.
5. I don’t have to get married. I can just have some kids and then live my life
When you think like this, something is missing somewhere. This kind of thoughts is a rebellion to God’s order and principles.
A person that says he or she doesn’t need marriage and yet sleeps around, is trying to get the benefit of marriage without the responsibilities attached to it. That would be adulterous. That is not God’s plan and you can imagine what the children raised in that kind of scenario will turn out to become.
6. God doesn’t love me. I cannot see His love
God will never forget you. God will never leave you.
“But Zion said, The LORD hath forsaken me, and my Lord hath forgotten me. Can a woman forget her sucking child, that she should not have compassion on the son of her womb? yea, they may forget, yet will I not forget thee. Behold, I have graven thee upon the palms of my hands; thy walls are continually before me.” (Isa 49:14-16, KJV)
I love Amplified Version of verse 16
“Behold, I have indelibly imprinted (tattooed a picture of) you on the palm of each of My hands; [ O Zion ] your walls are continually before Me.” (Isa 49:16, AMP)
Your picture is tattooed on the palm of God’s hands, not just one palm, but both palms.
Believe in His love. Respond to His love and you will even see His love the more. You respond to God’s love by obedience. Obedience to God unleashes the love and benevolence of God even more in your life.
I pray for you this week, may you experience God’s love this week.
May you experience the love of God in a special way, in a way that is specific to your present needs, in a way that will replace your tears with a laughter, in a way that will turn your tests into testimonies, in a way that will minster specifically into your heart, in a way that will melt away all doubts and replace them with assurance of His love!
May the blessings inherent in His love be your portion. I pray that that every confusion will be annihilated even by His love on Jesus name!
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I am loved of God. I am free from dangerous myths.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Pray that God will deliver you from dangerous myths.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY “And hope maketh not ashamed; because the love of God is shed abroad in our hearts by the Holy Ghost which is given unto us.” (Rom 5:5, KJV)
There aremany reasons why your wife loses interest in bed with you.
This attitude is not to be ignored because it can potentially bring harm to marriage.
It can push a man without self control into the zone of adulterous escapades, and of course, that comes with its unpleasant and attendant consequences that are detrimental to the family and home.
When this happens over and over again, that marriage is in serious danger of being exploited by the devil.
What seems like occasional refusals can quickly degenerate to a point where the wife closes up her spirit and the husband starts looking elsewhere.
When you look at the scriptures, it advocates that you should not deny each other sexually.
As a counselor, I have to counsel not too few a couple on this area.
What are those reasons why a wife can suddenly lose interest, especially if she has been cooperative before?
1. When she is repeatedly hurt and disappointed
Yes, the man is the head of the house and he is supposed to have the final say.
But when the man refuses to let his wife talk all the time, shuts her up and mute her voice, it can make her withdraw emotionally. When she is withdrawn emotionally, she cannot enjoy jeru trip like she should.
She is not a prostitute. And because she is not, a sexual experience for her is a total experience that affects every part of her.
If she is unhappy while at it, she can have the feeling of being raped.
And when this happens continuously, she would associate pain to an experience that you are supposed to enjoy and which is supposed to transport you to a land of delight like never before.
I believe this is one of the reasons Apostle Peter said:
1Pe 3:7 (CEV) If you are a husband, you should be thoughtful of your wife. Treat her with honor…
Being thoughtful about her off bed will make her cooperate more on the bed. Invest in her emotionally. Stop hurting her over and over again. The moment you lose her emotionally, you will not enjoy yourself as well.
I am not justifying this attitude on the part of the wife, because this attitude is not the appropriate response to an insensitive husband.
Maybe he just does not understand how to treat a woman or how you want to be treated specifically.
That is not a sin in itself, he only needs to learn. So, talk to him. Explain, rather than withdraw, go quiet and sulk. Communicate. Express your frustrations without nagging and work together to build your home.
May God grant more understanding!
Be blessed!
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I will cooperate with my spouse
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord, let your love be shed abroad in our home
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY 1Pe 3:7 (GW) Husbands, in a similar way, live with your wives with understanding since they are weaker than you are. Honor your wives as those who share God’s life-giving kindness so that nothing will interfere with your prayers.
There are myths every single should disbelief. Let me show you some.
1. The reason I am not married is because I am not beautiful
You see, beauty is in the beholder’s eyes. When you truly meet your spouse, you will be beautiful to him however you look.
Why do you think you are ugly? It is probably because some people told you that. Well, that is their opinion. However you look, somebody will soon see you and tell you you are beautiful.
I always say humourously that you are fearfully and wonderfully made. You will be fearful (ugly) to some and you will be wonderful (beautiful) to others.
Psa 139:14 KJV I will praise thee; for I am fearfully and wonderfully made: marvellous are thy works; and that my soul knoweth right well.
2. God is punishing me because of my past mistakes.
God never consults your past to determine your future. Let’s take a look at the scripture.
Heb 10:17 KJV And their sins and iniquities will I remember no more.
God will not only forgive you, He will forget about it. He would erase it out of His records. And listen to me, what God has forgiven and forgotten, don’t let the devil who is the accuser of brethren hold you on it.
Here is what Message translation says:
Heb 10:17 MSG He concludes, I’ll forever wipe the slate clean of their sins.
What God has concluded on, don’t allow the devil to add another paragraph. Where God has put a full stop, don’t allow anybody to change it to a comma.
3. A woman can never successfully submit to her husband
Submission to one’s husband is not a negotiation, it is an instruction from God. When you submit to your husband, you will bring yourself into a season of unprecedented favour, an unleashing of creativity and flowing in the fullness of God’s blessings over your life. Why? Because you are obeying God, even when it is not easy.
1Pe 3:1-2 AMP (1) IN LIKE manner, you married women, be submissive to your own husbands [subordinate yourselves as being secondary to and dependent on them, and adapt yourselves to them], so that even if any do not obey the Word [of God], they may be won over not by discussion but by the [godly] lives of their wives, (2) When they observe the pure and modest way in which you conduct yourselves, together with your reverence [for your husband; you are to feel for him all that reverence includes: to respect, defer to, revere him–to honor, esteem, appreciate, prize, and, in the human sense, to adore him, that is, to admire, praise, be devoted to, deeply love, and enjoy your husband].
4. There is certainly a curse working against me.
Curses are real. But the liberation from curses is even more real! The devil is wicked, but God is loving.
Through the death and resurrection of the Lord Jesus Christ, we have been redeemed from curses of the law. We have been made free. No devil should be allowed to lord it over you again!
Gal 3:13-14 MSG Christ redeemed us from that self-defeating, cursed life by absorbing it completely into himself. Do you remember the Scripture that says, “Cursed is everyone who hangs on a tree”? That is what happened when Jesus was nailed to the Cross: He became a curse, and at the same time dissolved the curse. And now, because of that, the air is cleared and we can see that Abraham’s blessing is present and available for non-Jews, too. We are all able to receive God’s life, his Spirit, in and with us by believing–just the way Abraham received it.
I will conclude on these myths tomorrow. Don’t miss it.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I am free from myths and wrong beliefs.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Pray that God will deliver you from known and unknown myths
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY “And hope maketh not ashamed; because the love of God is shed abroad in our hearts by the Holy Ghost which is given unto us.” (Rom 5:5, KJV)
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Challenge every myth you know about marriage.
