Marriage is for the broken. I mean those who have mortified their flesh. Does it then mean that anybody that has not attained this level cannot marry? Of course not. They can marry but making a success out of the marriage is impossible.
The devil understands this and he is okay with it. He is even happy with the idea of immature people getting married, so far as they don’t get to fulfill God’s mandate and agenda.
They could even spend millions of Naira on the wedding, with an elaborate and classic wedding. What matters most is how the marriage is going. How much does the husband love his wife as Christ loved the church? How much does the wife submit to her own husband?
God has given both the wife and the husband specific roles and functions in the marriage. This role is an individual mandate that is not dependent on what the other partner does or doesn’t do.
For if ye live after the flesh, ye shall die: but if ye through the Spirit do mortify the deeds of the body, ye shall live. – Rom 8:13
The flesh has deeds or works.
Now the works of the flesh are manifest, which are these; Adultery, fornication, uncleanness, lasciviousness, Idolatry, witchcraft, hatred, variance, emulations, wrath, strife, seditions, heresies, Envyings, murders, drunkenness, revellings, and such like: of the which I tell you before, as I have also told you in time past, that they which do such things shall not inherit the kingdom of God. – Gal 5:19- 22
There is a kingdom of God to be inherited by us in our marriage but ‘Those who do entertain the works of the flesh cannot inherit the kingdom of God.
The mandate of marriage can only be carried out in the spirit. By those who have their flesh crucified and dead to sin.
And they that are Christ’s have crucified the flesh with the affections and lusts. – Gal 5:24
In our marriage, we must see to it that our flesh dies daily. Every wife should study what the Bible says about submission and every husband study what it means to love.
Our flesh must be broken to allow the spirit of God to manifest.
I once lived in pity-party and was very stubborn in my disposition to my husband. I was just so fleshly. I yielded to the flesh without constraints and I entertained and embrace every negative thought that came to my mind. I went to see my mentor because I had come to my wit’s end. She told me, ‘be broken, and listen to your husband’. Those words set me free because they were the truth.
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Husbands, be broken and love your wife. Love her and be tender-hearted towards her.
Why get married if the reason for being married is not fulfilled? Don’t waste heavens mandate! Jesus said we should occupy till he comes. We must make up our minds that our marriage will fulfill destiny and purpose.
God bless your marriage
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I love my spouse wholeheartedly.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord, make me a broken spouse.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY I exhort therefore, that, first of all, supplications, prayers, intercessions, and giving of thanks, be made for all men; 1Ti 2:1
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Decide to be more committed in your marriage.
When you are falling in love, fall in love with some life! Don’t fall in love with a profile on social media. You may be disappointed. Don’t fall in love with a picture! You never know who you are dealing with!
Before you give your heart out, be sure you see the person you are dealing with, or else your heart can be wrenched apart!
“Pastor, it is not just a profile, I heard his voice!” It is still the same hopelessness, falling in love with a voice. Who owns the voice?
The rule of thumb is simple, never give any commitment to someone you have not seen.
If he is not committed to travel down to where you are, or he doesn’t have enough money to come or he doesn’t have the time, then he is not ready for marriage.
I know there can be situations when the persons are far away, probably in another country, then get family members who are around involved.
You cannot just fix a wedding date with somebody in Brazil and then travel there. I cannot recount how many have called me to talk about the greatest disappointments of their lives upon emptying their accounts and resigning from work to go and meet a guy somewhere who eventually turns out to be mentally imbalanced. A word is enough for the wise.
3. Don’t fall in love carelessly.
Don’t fall in love carelessly.
You met two hours ago. Now you are in bed! That is not love! That is lust and you are going to be dropped soonest like hot potatoes! The principles of God are being violated like that and you are not going to have His support.
The purpose of falling in love is not to take somebody to bed; it is to take somebody down the aisle. Jeru trap with someone will never be able to prove your love. They are just not the same, otherwise, the prostitute will fall in love with all her clients, but it never happens that way. Fall in love with care and caution!
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I will not miss it in marriage.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord, open the eyes of my understanding.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Eph 1:18 [GW] Then you will have deeper insight. You will know the confidence that he calls you to have and the glorious wealth that God’s people will inherit.
As they walked down the aisle, Kunle holding his bride, and their faces punctuated with laughter and sheer joy. Betty and Kunle are finally getting married and both of them were so happy.
They had looked forward to this day. Preparations were in top gear as they pumped millions into ensuring the day was glorious. They left no stone unturned, and both of them even borrowed some money for the D-Day. The day was colourful, and people went home belly-full. Everybody eat to their satisfaction as they hired the best caterer in town.
By the time they arrived at the honeymoon venue, they were both exhausted. And now, a new chapter of their life begins.
That day was super and that was it. The wedding was over and marriage began. Reality sets in. Few weeks after the wedding, the pressures showed up in their numbers and with the pressures are different scenarios.
My point this morning? We all put in a lot of preparation and resources into one day often at the detriment of the real thing. We spend millions on feeding guests while we cannot spend a couple of thousands required to take a good marriage counseling.
Here are a few things to note
1. Do not overstretch yourself because of a one-day event. It is foolishness to borrow and feed people while you spend the next six months in debt and are unable to feed yourselves properly.
2. Work more at the comfort of your spouse after the wedding. Some couples will sit on some golden beautiful settee on their wedding days and then arrange plastic chairs in the living room afterward. Who are we really trying to impress?
3. You and your intended spouse should draw a budget and work within the budget. Agree on how you want the day to look and prioritize your home after the wedding
4. Lastly, do not allow folk in the family to draw you into unnecessary spending. Be wise. Be circumspect.
I pray God to grant you more understanding
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I am wise and circumspect.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Ask for divine wisdom to plan your wedding
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Matt 19:16 (AMP) So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore, what God has joined together, let no one separate.”
And Jesus said unto them, Can the children of the bridechamber fast, while the bridegroom is with them? as long as they have the bridegroom with them, they cannot fast. But the days will come, when the bridegroom shall be taken away from them, and then shall they fast in those days. No man also seweth a piece of new cloth on an old garment: else the new piece that filled it up taketh away from the old, and the rent is made worse. And no man putteth new wine into old bottles: else the new wine doth burst the bottles, and the wine is spilled, and the bottles will be marred: but new wine must be put into new bottles (Mark 2:19-22 KJV)
In the scriptures, there are different kinds of fast. There is the regular fast where you don’t eat anything but can drink water or juice. Then there is the partial fast. This is omitting specific meals or refraining from specific types of food. Daniel had this type of fast at a time.
Then there is the full fast or dry fast wherein you completely refrain from both food and water for short periods of time. Paul had this type of fast. Esther called for this type of fast as well.
And then there could be a sexual fast as described in 1Cor 7. A fast could be as a result of personal instruction from God or proclaimed by the local assembly.
Fasting is powerful and Jesus mentioned it as one of the three things that can turn a life around in Matthew Chapter 6. Praying, Fasting, and Giving! No demonic power anywhere can withstand those three!
In Matthew 6:3, Jesus said ‘But when thou doest alms…,’ (or when you give)
In Matthew 6:6, Jesus said ‘But thou, when thou prayest…’
In Matthew 6:16, Jesus said ‘Moreover when ye fast…’
But the question I really want to address this morning is, apart from a generally proclaimed fast, when do I fast personally? When do I know that there is a need for me to fast?
The disciples of Jesus were reported to him, that they have not been fasting. And Jesus replied with a powerful and insightful statement in verse 20.
But the days will come, when the bridegroom shall be taken away from them, and then shall they fast in those days.
Jesus Christ is saying when you come to some seasons in your life, and it as though the bridegroom has been taken away from you, then shall you fast!
In those times in your life, when things seem not to be working again, then shall you fast.
In those times of your life, when you pray, and your prayer seems to bounce back, and it looks as though the bridegroom has gone on honeymoon, then shall you fast.
In those seasons of your life, when it looks like the bridegroom has been taken away, and in reality, it actually is like there is no groom for you while you are growing older, then shall you fast.
In those times of life, when you know you ought to pray and yet your mouth will not open in prayer, and Jesus Christ seems far away, then shall you fast.
In those times of your life, when every relationship breaks, and none is ever looking good, then shall you fast.
In those times of your life, when three or four weddings that looked promising were cancelled, and the groom cannot be found, then shall you fast.
Jesus went further to say in verses 21 and 22
No man also seweth a piece of new cloth on an old garment: else the new piece that filled it up taketh away from the old, and the rent is made worse. And no man putteth new wine into old bottles: else the new wine doth burst the bottles, and the wine is spilled, and the bottles will be marred: but new wine must be put into new bottles (Mark 2:19-22 KJV)
That is, a new season requires a new approach. You cannot glide into your destiny on the wings of old strength. You need to make power available in the place of fasting and prayer. A new piece of cloth must not go on an old garment, or else there will be complications. You cannot import an old unbelieving boyfriend into your new life. New wine must go into a new bottle!
The grace of God over your life must not be spilled on the platform of sentiments. You cannot continue with sexual promiscuity in your newfound life with Christ.
Fasting will not give you more power to overcome the issues, it will open your eyes to see, know and understand the counsel of God for that particular season.
Fasting will not bribe God in any way, it will only get your soul humbled and in the right frame to understand and follow God’s counsel. It will break yokes and rejuvenate you!
Are you in a season of your life, when it looks like Jesus Christ has been taken away from you and nothing seems to be working? Then shall you fast….and pray…with God’s word!
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I receive the grace to discipline my flesh.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Oh Lord, help me to pay the price now
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY 1 Cor 9:27 (CEV) I keep my body under control and make it my slave, so I won’t lose out after telling the good news to others.
