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Back to our discourse for today. The greatest lover of our souls is God Himself! What has He been trying to do? It’s just one thing! To keep communication with us!
In a world filled with constant distractions, communication is the cornerstone of any successful relationship. Effective communication is not just about talking; it’s about understanding, empathizing, and connecting with your partner on a deeper level.
This devotional aims to provide you with invaluable insights into how lovers can communicate better, enhancing the quality of their relationship and, ultimately, bringing them closer together.
How Lovers Can Communicate Better
The Power of Active Listening
A major aspect of effective communication is active listening. It’s not merely waiting for your turn to speak but genuinely absorbing what your partner is saying.
I used to be right on this table! I would just be looking for something with which to give a resounding logical reply without actually listening! Can you imagine? Listen well and deliberately and you will connect more with your spouse!
When you actively listen, you show respect and empathy, which are key ingredients for successful communication.
Practice active listening by maintaining eye contact, nodding in agreement, and asking open-ended questions. This creates an open and inviting atmosphere for your partner to express themselves.
How Lovers Can Communicate Better
Choose Your Words Wisely
Words can cut and lacerate! Words can proceed as weapons of massive destruction tearing everything apart that it collides with. It can also be an agent of peace, a tool of tranquility, and a wrath killer! How are you using words with your spouse?
Words have a profound impact on our relationships. A thoughtless phrase can lead to misunderstandings and even conflicts. To communicate better with your partner, it’s essential to choose your words wisely and speak with kindness and consideration.
Before speaking, take a moment to reflect on your thoughts and emotions. This will help you communicate in a calmer and more composed manner.
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5 Things Men Shouldn’t Say In Marriage. Bode and Sade got married a few years back. Bode was the quiet easy going gentle giant while Sade is the vivacious hard laughing babe! And that was the attraction. Bode wanted an exciting wife to complement his inward introvert nature. And he got that for a few days only after their wedding.
Today, Sade is a shadow of herself. Bode is frustrated and Sade is hurt and bitter. What happened? Well, life happened, temperamental weaknesses visited and hibernated reactions came to life.
What really happened? They both came into the marriage with high expectations. They’ve had their fair share of quarrels here and there, but those were just child’s play compared to what they are experiencing.
Sade didn’t like harsh words because she was raised in a family where one single abusive word was never used.
Bode grew in an environment where he was cooked with negative utterances and vituperations.
Bode gave what he had. Sade reacted by withdrawing into her shell. Every excitement which Bode liked disappeared. Bode was frustrated and dished out more of the only thing he knew, harsh words.
He didn’t understand why just “stating the facts” can affect his wife. He believes his wife didn’t want to hear the truth!
He obviously forgot the scripture that says
Eph 4:15 (KJV) But speaking the truth in love, may grow up into him in all things, which is the head, even Christ:
The truth must be spoken in love! Do you think your fiancee is reacting? Is your wife no longer talking and she is withdrawn? The reason might not be far-fetched.
Here are five examples of words you should not say to your wife or fiancee
5 Things Men Shouldn’t Say In Marriage
I thought I married a joyful wife. You are obviously a sadist The priest of the house should not say something like this.
I don’t like the way you make stupid mistakes. I am having doubts about this wedding/marriage She would make more mistakes if you are not careful
You are too slow for me. With the way we are going, we won’t last in this relationship/marriage You might end up having exactly what you said. Words are powerful.
What is wrong with you? You keep making mistakes every day. Are sure you are okay? She would lose her self-esteem and have self-doubts.
I am not sure you are well brought up. My mum is not like this. She is not lazy and she took care of my dad! Comparison in marriage is sacrilege!
These are just a few examples of Things Men Shouldn’t Say In Marriage. These kinds of statements will be like piercings of the swords in the heart of your wife. Sometimes it is the other way around and it is the husband on receiving end.
Whichever way, you are where you are today because of the words you have spoken. Start changing your vocabulary and let them be aligned with God’s word!
May God grant you grace to be a gracious person, whose tongue is bridled in your relationship or marriage.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I will speak healthy words.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord, bridle my tongue and take every pain away in my heart
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Eph 4:15 (GNB) Instead, by speaking the truth in a spirit of love, we must grow up in every way to Christ, who is the head.
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Don’t talk when you are angry
Help Pastor, We Don’t Communicate Well in Marriage! Communication is so important in marriage. Just as you can do for long without food, the same way, you cannot do without communication in marriage.
There must be good communication between a husband and wife.
A husband and wife must talk about everything and anything. They must not be secretive and they must not hide anything for one another.
Never allow your communication to degenerate into mono-syllable answers, where it seems only one party is doing the talking.
Communication is so important that whole cities and countries have been brought down simply because the two parties involved cannot understand one another.
This is this story of Tower of Babel. They had a great goal; to build a city whose top will reach unto the heavens, God attested to their feat that they would do it.
The only way for God to stop their ambition is to touch their language and they could not understand each other.
Their language became confounded. Once that happened, their project was brought to an abrupt end.
May I dare say that a lot of opportunities have been truncated because the husband and wife are busy fighting and throwing tantrums, and withdrawing from themselves.
Help Pastor, We Don’t Communicate Well in Marriage! Learn to talk in your marriage.
For communication to take place, there must be a person who is willing to receive and another who is willing to share.
When either party does not want to share and at the same time doesn’t want to receive, that may be a major issue there.
Help Pastor, We Don’t Communicate Well in Marriage! If you are the quiet one in your marriage, then you must consciously encourage your spouse when he or she is talking or joking.
Also, deliberately respond to your spouse and don’t just shake your head. Your spouse is not a Radio station which talks alone most of the time.
Be deliberate about good communication. I pray that God grant you more wisdom. Be blessed!
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I am helped in my marriage. Our communication is getting better.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord, strengthen me in my are of weaknesses
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Gen 11:7 (MSG) Come, we’ll go down and garble their speech so they won’t understand each other.”
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Decide to initiate a meaningful conversation between you and your spouse
Communication is simply talking, but of cause, there are more things involved than just talking. A healthy conversation involves not just what is said but what is heard.
In essence, communication is a two way conversation which involves speaking and hearing. The two spouses must form the conscious habit of allowing the other spouse express himself or herself. While he/ she speaks, the other partner should be actively listening.
Not listening for pleasure, not listening for information but should practise empathic listening. This is putting yourself in the conversation. Trying to understand and feel the impulse of the speaker.
It is unhealthy to to dominate a conversation without waiting at intervals to get feedback. To check whether your hearer is hearing the right thing, to know how he/she is processing the information. The aim of your conversation especially on marriage is for your partner to understand what you are saying , understand and then obey you.
Listening should not also be done with the intention of giving a reply that will defend your status or what you represent in the marriage covenant.
I think we cannot also have a good conversation with our spouse if our interpretation of what marriage is, is defective. Until we see our marriage from the view point of it being a covenant relationship, every other thing becomes loop sided.
What we see most couples practising is contract and not covenant marriage.
This is so important. It is a contract (which could be unwritten and informal), when the marriage is based on mutual benefit. That is, we are both doing something for each other.
For example, I will be nice to you, if you bring in enough money. Or, if you help out in the house, I will prepare the meals.
The opposite obtains if your spouse doesn’t do what is expected. I will be very cold and unresponsive to you if you hurt my feelings. I will be uncaring to you if you disrespect me.
Marriage is a covenant. In which each partner takes up his/her responsibility. A wife is to submit fully. The husband takes up his responsibility to love her like Christ does irrespective of what she does.
It is the aim of covenant relationship to please and serve the other person despite what he/ she does.
It’s kind of difficult right? Very hard. Especially if you have been to some school of hardknocks, where you have been deeply hurt.
If you are starting on a clean note and you have this understanding, how blessed you are.
No matter how farther away we have gone, in Christ there is always a way out. He shows us and leads us in the way since He is the way.
We need to retrace our steps and in humility, accept what works.
When a marriage is not working, both partners are responsible. It is not just one persons fault but the two parties have their contributing factors.
Tomorrow, I will attempt to summarize the five levels of Communication.
God bless your marriage.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I am communicating well with my spouse.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord, help me to be a better communicator
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY They said to him, “Hezekiah says, ‘This is a black day. We’re in crisis. We’re like pregnant women without even the strength to have a baby! Isaiah 37:3 – MSG
We started yesterday on this topic and we have looked at
1. Know your spouses temperament:
This will reduce a lot of tension, hurt and frustrations in marriage.
Today, we will be looking at
2. Don’t take yourselves for granted.
Our needs differ from each other. Part of the reasons we married was for companionship. We have to be gentle and patient when dealing with each other.
We must take time off our busy schedule to be with each other. Just sit around your spouse and talk.
Talking could be therapeutic and prevent certain bodily ailments. Before any issue gets out of hands, we should have talked about it.
Let nothing mean more than our spouses. Some have valued business, office projects, friends, money, party etc more than our spouse.
Did you miss out on yesterday’s devotional, we’ve got you covered kindly go HERE. For KHC video Devotionals kindly go HERE
Every other thing we achieve and do, the wealth we amass and the associate or business partner we get will all leave us, but the one person who will faithfully stay with us is our spouse.
Let us all build long lasting and strong relationship of love, respect and understanding. It is going to take hard work on our part but on the long run it will be worth it.
Take time to know the state of your spouse. Some people just sleep and wake up together, they don’t know their spouse, their challenges or what is going on with them.
If and when our relationship with our spouse is good and cordial, God will ensure that we prosper. The Holy Spirit will grant us the wisdom and give us divine connections to prosper us.
God help us all as we make efforts to meet each other’s needs.
God bless our marriage.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I am becoming more loving and caring to my spouse
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Help me, Lord to take time out to love my spouse
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Hebrews 13:5 Let your conversation be without covetousness; and be content with such things as ye have: for he hath said, I will never leave thee, nor forsake thee.
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Think of ways you could be more loving
