How To Find Joy In Courtship

by Rev Dunamis Okunowo | Dec 5, 2024 | Singles and Married

Reading Time: 3 minutes

Finding Joy in the Journey: Navigating Dating as a Christian Single

Let’s face it—dating can feel like a maze sometimes, right? And if you’re navigating it as a Christian, there’s the added layer of staying true to your faith and joy, while swiping, mingling, or meeting “through a friend of a friend.” But here’s the good news: dating as a Christian single isn’t just about finding the one. It’s about discovering who you are, growing in your relationship with God, and (yes) even enjoying the ride.

So, grab your favorite coffee (or tea—no judgment here), and let’s talk about how to find joy in the dating journey while keeping Christ at the center.

1. Dating with Purpose: More Than Just a Relationship Status

Ever felt like dating is just a race to find a partner? Trust me, I get it. But here’s a perspective shift: dating as a Christian is about more than just pairing up. It’s a chance to grow—emotionally, spiritually, and maybe even socially (yes, awkward dates count as life experiences).

Start viewing each date as an opportunity to reflect on who God is shaping you to be. Instead of stressing over compatibility, ask yourself: What can I learn from this person? How can I reflect Christ in this interaction?

Think of Proverbs 27:17: “As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another.” Whether or not the relationship works out, every encounter can help refine you.

2. Faith: Your Compass in the Dating World

Let’s be real—faith isn’t just a checkbox on your dating profile. It’s your foundation. When you’re rooted in Christ, it becomes easier to identify red flags (or green ones) and to prioritize what truly matters.

What to Look For:

Someone who shares your values and beliefs. It’s not about being clones of each other but sharing a faith that can ground your relationship.
A partner who encourages you to grow closer to God, not drift away.

1 Corinthians 13:4-7 is your cheat sheet here: love that’s patient, kind, and rooted in truth is the goal. If someone is leading you away from these principles, it’s worth reconsidering.

And don’t forget to pray. Pray for clarity, discernment, and patience (even when your mom starts dropping not-so-subtle hints about grandkids).

3. Enjoying the Process Without Losing Your Sanity

Okay, confession time: how many of us have spiraled into overthinking after a first date? (Guilty!) But here’s the thing—dating doesn’t have to be this high-pressure, anxiety-inducing ordeal.

Instead of obsessing over the future, lean into the present. Let dating be a journey of discovery:

Discovering what you value in a partner.
Discovering how to communicate (even when it’s uncomfortable).
Discovering what God might be teaching you through those experiences.

Matthew 6:34 reminds us: “Do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself.” Focus on the here and now, trusting that God’s timing is always better than our own.

4. When It Feels Like Everyone Else is Married (Except You)

Ah, the dreaded wedding season. Suddenly, everyone you know is posting engagement photos while you’re debating whether to bring a plus-one or just show up solo again.

First, know this: you’re not alone. Seriously. So many Christian singles feel this pressure, but God’s plan for you isn’t on the same timeline as your best friend’s or that couple from your small group.

Take this season to invest in yourself:

Deepen your relationship with Christ.
Pursue hobbies or passions you’ve always wanted to explore.
Build strong friendships that remind you you’re loved and valued, no matter your relationship status.

Psalm 37:4 says, “Take delight in the Lord, and He will give you the desires of your heart.” Your story is unique, and God hasn’t forgotten you.

5. The Bottom Line: Joy is in the Journey

Here’s the thing: dating as a Christian single doesn’t have to feel like a chore or a test. When you approach it with faith, purpose, and a little bit of humor, it can actually be… fun.

Remember, the goal isn’t just to find a spouse; it’s to grow closer to God and discover the person He’s calling you to be. Whether you’re single, dating, or somewhere in between, you’re already on a meaningful journey.

And who knows? Maybe that next coffee date—or Bible study meet-cute—might just surprise you.

So, how are you feeling about dating these days? Let’s chat in the comments—what’s one lesson God’s been teaching you through this season?