How to Date with God, Goals, and Growth in Mind

by Rev Dunamis Okunowo | Dec 2, 2024 | Singles and Married

Reading Time: 3 minutes

Let’s Talk Intentional Dating
Hey there! If you’ve ever caught yourself wondering, “What am I even doing with my dating life?”, you’re not alone. Having a date these days can feel like navigating a maze blindfolded. But here’s the tea: it doesn’t have to be that way. Intentional dating is your cheat code.

So, what does “dating with intent” actually mean? It’s not just about swiping right and hoping for the best. It’s about knowing why you’re dating. Whether you’re seeking a life partner or just trying to grow emotionally and spiritually, having a clear purpose is a game-changer.

As Proverbs 29:18 says, “Where there is no vision, the people perish.” Translation? Without a clear plan, your relationships can feel aimless.

Why Intentional Dating Matters

Let’s be real—your time and emotional energy are precious. Why waste them on connections that leave you feeling more confused than inspired? Here’s why intentional dating is a must:

Clarity = Confidence
Knowing your goals means you can date with boldness. No more guessing games or settling for “meh” situationships.
It Honors God and Yourself
When you date with purpose, you’re aligning your actions with your values. It’s about glorifying God in how you love others and yourself.
It Saves You from Unnecessary Drama
No more “What are we?” convos every three months. Intentionality brings peace (and trust me, peace > chaos every time).

The SMART Way to Set Relationship Goals

Okay, so now you’re hyped about intentional dating. But how do you actually do it? Enter SMART goals:

Specific: Instead of saying, “I want to date someone nice,” try, “I want to meet someone who shares my faith and long-term goals.”
Measurable: Track progress. Are you building trust? Growing together spiritually?
Achievable: Keep it realistic. “Marrying in three weeks” might be a stretch, fam.
Relevant: Make sure your goals align with your life stage and values.
Time-bound: Set a timeline. “I’d like to know where this relationship is headed in six months.”

Overcoming Common Challenges

Intentional dating isn’t all sunshine and roses. It can get messy. Here’s how to navigate common hurdles:

1. Mismatch in Goals

Ever vibe with someone, only to find out they’re just looking for “something casual”? Ouch. The key here is honest communication—early and often.

Ask questions like, “What’s your vision for a relationship?” during the first few dates. It saves you from investing in something misaligned.

2. Fear of Rejection

Being upfront about your goals can feel intimidating. But remember, rejection isn’t personal—it’s redirection. God’s got someone better for you (Jeremiah 29:11 vibes).

3. Waiting on God’s Timing

Intentional dating can sometimes feel like you’re stuck in a “season of waiting.” But use this time to grow—emotionally, spiritually, and even socially. Go to that Bible study, try a new hobby, or travel with friends.

Let’s Get Practical: Tips for Intentional Dating

Here’s a quick list to make dating with intent feel less like a lecture and more like a lifestyle:

Start with Prayer: Lay your dating life before God. Ask for wisdom, discernment, and patience.
Know Your Non-Negotiables: These are the big things—faith, family values, future plans. Don’t compromise.
Have Fun: Yep, intentional dating can still be exciting. Plan creative dates (think coffee and hiking, not just Netflix and chill).
Check In Regularly: Reflect on your relationship’s progress. Is it helping you grow or draining your energy?

Final Thoughts

Dating with intent isn’t about being perfect—it’s about being purposeful. It’s okay to stumble along the way; just keep your eyes on the ultimate goal: a relationship that glorifies God and brings out the best in both of you.

And hey, remember Ecclesiastes 3:1: “To everything there is a season, and a time to every purpose under heaven.” Your season of intentional dating is part of God’s bigger story for you.

So, are you ready to date with purpose? Let’s chat in the comments—what are your relationship goals, and how can we support each other on this journey?