It is often said that a friend in need is a friend indeed. The value of friendship is known in hard and tough times. Nothing is as soothing as when a friend speaks to you in your down moments. When his or her words are like cold water to a thirsty soul.
If the effect of a friend could be that felt, how much more is the effect of a spouse? Of course, our spouse is supposed to be our best friend; who we are vulnerable with, with who we can share the joy and the privilege of being naked and not ashamed.
I think every spouse should ask themselves this question: “Am I a friend to my spouse?” Can your spouse confidently say, he/she can find a friend in you? Does your spouse find you easy to talk to?
Every spouse should ask these soul-searching questions and try to find answers to these questions.
It’s easy to point accusing fingers at your spouse, but are you also fulfilling your end? Quit playing the blame game and face reality, walk and work together to make a formidable team.
Can two walk together, except they be agreed? -Amos 3:3 (KJV)
Come in agreement with each other. Forgive every hurt and pain. Marriage is where we hurt deeply.
Some spouses are so hurt they vow never to forgive. If you have any knotty situations, talk things over with your mentors. Sometimes, the issues in marriage require the authority of someone higher than you, just a word, a prayer or a prophetic utterance can solve the issue.
Some people have destroyed their marriage because of staying on their viewpoint of being right. In marriage, it is not always about who is right or wrong, but our willingness to allow God’s purpose to be done.
Jesus our model didn’t insist on being right. He willingly suffered for us, the righteous for the unrighteous. He loved us while we were yet sinners and died for us so we can be made sons of God.
The mandate on our marriage must be fulfilled. Let’s get over with all forms of bitterness, malice, and unforgiveness, these are toxic to our being best of friends with our spouses.
A man that hath friends must shew himself friendly: and there is a friend that sticketh closer than a brother. –Proverbs 18:24 (KJV)
This scripture is very profound. You must show yourself friendly to have your spouse as your friend.
The issue is some of us don’t even know to be friends; we must aim at being friends with our spouses. I believe the Holy Spirit, the spirit of truth and revelation will help us if we ask Him to.
Here are some ways to be friends with your spouse:
1. Maintaining the right attitude and positive disposition is important.
2. Kind words and loving words; every human being responds to love.
3. Believing the best of each other.
4. Being fun to be with.
5. Not pointing attention to the weak areas of your spouse.
6. Encouraging our spouse.
7. Avoiding criticism, accusation, and blaming.
8. Being very understanding.
These are a few tips for being there for your spouse.
God help us indeed.
May God bless our marriages.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I am my spouse’s best friend, I am loving and kind towards him/her
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord, help me to keep my marriage covenant
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY A man that hath friends must shew himself friendly: and there is a friend that sticketh closer than a brother. –Proverbs 18:24 (KJV)
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Study the word ‘one flesh’
It is often said that a friend in need is a friend indeed. The value of friendship is known in hard and tough times. Nothing is as soothing as when a friend speaks to you in your down moments. When his or her words are like cold water to a thirsty soul.
If the effect of a friend could be that felt, how much more is the effect of a spouse. Of course, our spouse is supposed to be our best friend with who we are vulnerable, with who we can share the joy and the privilege of being naked and not ashamed.
I think every spouse should ask themselves this question. “Am I a friend to my spouse?” “Can my spouse confidently say, he/she can find a friend in me?” “Does my spouse find me easy to talk with?”
Every spouse should ask these soul-searching questions and try to find answers to these questions.
It is easier to point accusing fingers at your spouse. Quit playing the blame game and face reality, walk and work together.
Can two walk together, except they be agreed?
Amos 3:3 KJV
Come in agreement with each other. Forgive every hurt and pain. For marriage is where we hurt deeply.
Some spouses are so hurt they vowed never to forgive. If you have any knotty situation, talk things over with your mentors. Sometimes, the issues in marriage require the authority of someone higher than you. Just a word, a prayer or a prophetic utterance can solve such issues.
Some people have destroyed their marriage because of staying on their viewpoint of being right. In marriage, it is not always about who is right or wrong, but our willingness to allow God’s purpose to be done.
Jesus, our model didn’t insist on being right. He willingly suffered for us, the righteous for the unrighteous. He loved us while we were yet sinners and died for us so we can be made sons of God.
The mandate on our marriage must be fulfilled. Let’s get over all forms of bitterness, malice, and unforgiveness. These are toxic to our being best of friends with our spouse.
A man that hath friends must shew himself friendly: and there is a friend that sticketh closer than a brother.
Proverbs 18:24 KJV
This scripture is very profound. You must show yourself friendly to have your spouse as your friend.
The question is some of us don’t even know to be friends. We must aim at being friends with our spouses. I believe the Holy Spirit, the spirit of truth and revelation will help us if we ask Him to.
Some ways to being friends with your spouse
1. Maintaining the right attitude and positive disposition is important. 2. Kind words and loving words. Every human being responds to love. 3. Believing the best of each other. 4. Being fun to be with. 5. Not pointing attention to the weak areas of your spouse. 6. Encouraging our spouse. 7. Avoiding criticism, accusation, and blaming. 8. Being very understanding.
These are few tips for being there for your spouse.
God help us indeed.
May God bless our marriage!
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY My marriage is blessed.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord, help me to be there for my spouse always.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Prov 18:24 (CEV)Some friends don’t help, but a true friend is closer than your own family.
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Be friends with your spouse
Part of beingsincere and being open and transparent in marriage is being able to express yourself without feeling ashamed. This is why we are considering the topic Don’t Be Afraid of Being Needy In Marriage”
I know this could be difficult to do. I have been there before. My husband is a full-blown-blooded choleric. And clerics are very expressive and opinionated. They could be very blunt and believe why should they be diplomatic? In fact, the blunter the better. They are not apologetic at all.
In my own thinking as a phlegmatic, everything has to be with diplomacy. You have to think of not hurting the other person even if it means you get hurt instead. You have to be apologetic and so on.
My husband is of the opinion that if he needs anything he will ask. Jokingly or straightforward, he will ask. He believes there is nothing he should not be able to ask his wife especially Jeru trip(*winks). He is never ashamed.
I had to learn to ask and not be ashamed that I am needy.
Recently, I saw our Caucasian dog do this and the Holy Spirit ministered to me that it’s so easy to ask for what you want.
Shame is a sign you are not naked and transparent with your spouse yet.
Our huge dog, whenever you are outside will come to you, make sure you notice him and then lie down very close to you expecting that you use your leg to rub him. He shows pleasure and if you remove your leg he will use his own legs to touch you. A non-verbal way of saying “don’t stop”.
We as couples should always learn to ask politely and courteously from our spouse. Don’t let the unfavorable answer of our spouses discourage us. Just ask. It is either he/she says Yes, No, or some other time.
We all are needy, in one way or another. Where I am strong my husband is weak and he is strong where I am weak. God created it so. We need one another, but we have the responsibility of making our needs known.
Don’t be too egoistic and don’t be ashamed of your needs. God already knows you are needy. Don’t also try to be humble unnecessarily by sacrificing your needs. Talk about your needs as a woman. Talk about your needs as a man, which includes jeru trip, intimacy, affection, time out even the need to be pampered.
Let’s be expressive even if we have to learn it.
God bless your marriage
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I put God first place in my life
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord, empower me to do thy will, at all times
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honour unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayers be not hindered. (1 Peter 3:7 KJV)
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Decide to sow a good seed into her today!
I will continue from where I stopped yesterday. We have been looking at different types of stressors and how we can avoid them. How these stressors cause stress and strain in our relationship with our spouse.
We looked yesterday at how unforgiveness can be a sources of unhappiness in marriage. It can cause a lot of tension between couples.
Today, we are moving on to
8. Not being open and transparent.
Marriage is translated H.O.T, honest, open and transparent. Husband and wife should be naked and not ashamed.
And they were both naked, the man and his wife, and were not ashamed.
Genesis 2:25 KJV There should be no shame whatsoever between husband and wife. If both understand their position in covenant and how God sees them.
There should be zero inhibitions. We should be 100%/vulnerable to each other
It is very stressful when as husband and wife you censor what you have to say, walk as though on an egg shelf, hide, be secretive, tell packaged truth, sometimes tell little lies, structured lies, and all manner and shades of lies.
It is frustrating to have a spouse who is always suspecting you.
I want us to know that the devil is at the root of every kind of suspicion. If this is happening in our marriage, God will grant us victory and every storm will cease in Jesus name.
The devil hates marriage and unity between husbands and wives. This kind of stress can cause strain on the marital union. It could be handled by both husband and wife working together correcting their wrongs and trusting God for the covenant of oneness to be appropriated in their lives and marriage.
9. Unrealistic expectations.
These are the things we expect from our spouse which cut across as being over the board or giving the present situation may be difficult to meet.
Our spouse should try and they are under obligations to meet our needs. But there are some needs that are not humanly possible.
This usually happens when either of the spouses is selfish and inconsiderate. If for example the husband or the wife already has a particular mould he/she wants for his spouse and then try to force the spouse into that mould. That will be an unrealistic expectation.
This is capable of causing frustration. I will stop here today and continue tomorrow on these stressors by God’s grace.
May God grant us the spirit of forgiveness to all that has offended us in Jesus name.
God bless your marriage.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I am a wise spouse. I know how to relate with people.
PRAYERS FOR THE DAY Lord, give me wisdom
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY 1 Peter 3:7 Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honour unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayers be not hindered.
