Complaining nonstop sucks the energy. Constant criticism without affirmations can quickly destroy the esteem of your partner, which might already be fragile.
Eph 4:29 (GW) Don’t say anything that would hurt another person. Instead, speak only what is good so that you can give help wherever it is needed. That way, what you say will help those who hear you.
7. Financial disagreements.
Money stress can be so overwhelming. This can quickly escalate when one or both partners are financially undisciplined. Work with a budget and stay on the same page. Learn to trust God for your finances as well.
Php 4:19 (GW) My God will richly fill your every need in a glorious way through Christ Jesus.
8. No quality time together.
Relationships need a couple of times together to be at their best. Spend time and invest in quality time together. Pray together, and play together. Laugh and relax together and stop worrying unnecessarily.
Ecc 4:9-10 (GW) Two people are better than one because together, they have a good reward for their hard work. [10] If one falls, the other can help his friend get up. But how tragic it is for the one who is ⌞all⌟ alone when he falls. There is no one to help him get up.
9. Lack of intimacy.
Not feeling close physically and emotionally strains things. Do not work against your intimacy through lies, deception, and insensitivity. Study your partner and make them happy as much as you can.
The husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband.” 1 Corinthians 7:3
10. Not resolving conflicts constructively.
Sweeping issues under the rug or fighting dirty poisons the vibe. Settle quarrels quickly. A good union is one of two forgivers. Avoid strife and don’t sulk continually.
“If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.” Romans 12:18
Top Ten Quarrel Triggers in Relationships and Marriages
Failing to communicate
Not making yourself clear, talking in “silence”, mumbling words and mono-syllable answers can often be the source of anger and irritation. Avoid them. Encourage one another daily… Hebrews 3:13a
Expecting mind reading
Use your words! Your fiancee or spouse is not the Holy Spirit who can pick up your thoughts. They are no magicians, so learn to use words! Let your conversation be always full of grace, seasoned with salt.” Colossians 4:6
Leaving messes behind
Leaving your partner, to pick up socks, and clothes, clean the dishes, and attend to all you regularly scatter can be frustrating! Especially the sanguines, they seem anointed to scatter things and forget where they pick things from. It is now so frustrating if you are married, for example to a melancholy who is a perfectionist.
Whatever your hand finds to do, do it with all your might.” Ecclesiastes 9:10
Being on devices 24/7
Constantly on your phone and ignoring each other kills the vibe quickly, leaving the other person feeling neglected and insignificant. Put your phone aside and don’t degenerate to chatting with each other on the phone in the same house! How can you be married and lonely?
Psa 68:6 (GW) God places lonely people in families. He leads prisoners out of prison into productive lives, but rebellious people must live in an unproductive land.
Not splitting chores
Feeling like the only one doing the whole work in the house can bring bad vibes quickly and trigger unnecessary quarrels. Be hands-on together and nobody should be cooking alone while the other is on computer games, day in and day out! That would be unfair. Love wouldn’t operate that way! Find something to do to help out! Each of you should use whatever gift you have received to serve others.” 1 Peter 4:10
This is an interesting topic, and I want everyone to go along with me. This is the topic of Steve Harvey’s best-selling book, and it is still very relevant today.
Basically, we will be looking at two aspects of this topic: 1. How to behave like a woman 2. We will be delving into a little bit of how men think. Women need to understand how men think in order to live successfully with them and be able to get the best of men.
First, let us deal with how a lady or a woman should act.
Let’s look at how God fashioned or created the woman.
Genesis 2:21-23 NIV [21] So the Lord God caused the man to fall into a deep sleep; and while he was sleeping, he took one of the man’s ribs and then closed up the place with flesh. [22] Then the Lord God made a woman from the rib he had taken out of the man, and he brought her to the man. [23] The man said, “This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called ‘woman,’ for she was taken out of man.”
Before the woman was created, she was needed to meet the particular needs of the man. She was created from the finest bone and smoothest bone of the man. She was made out of the man’s rib. The Bible says God put the man to sleep. There is a mystery about women that only God understands.
No wonder when the man woke up he could only explain, “This is now bone of my bone and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called ‘Woman’.” I believe there is something about every woman that should make men go, “Wow.” The shape, style, posture, hips, face, smiles, hair, nose, nails, breast, and everything about the woman.
A woman is meant to be beautiful inside and outside. Somebody rightly said, “Women are created for hugs and kisses, to be pampered and cherished, not for punches.”
Here is a ten-point advice for singles and younger couples from a perspective of 20+ years of marriage:
Commit to lifelong faithfulness. Make your vows before God and keep them through thick and thin. Fidelity and loyalty are what will see married couples through in all seasons of life. Even as singles, beware of someone who is already cheating on you. They will not likely change
Be besties for life! A happy marriage is built on the foundation of a deep and abiding friendship. Make time each day to connect, laugh together, and be each other’s best friend. Don’t marry someone who is not a friend!
Two are better than one…if one falls down, his friend can help him up. Ecclesiastes 4:9-10
Communicate respectfully. Listen to understand each other, not just reply. Handle discussions and disagreements with care, respect and keep it like your lives depend on it.
Be flexible. No one always gets their way so meet halfway when you don’t see eye to eye. Focus on understanding each other, not being right.
Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves.” Philippians 2:3
Forgive and forget. Resentments poison relationships. When mistakes come up, go with mercy and leave the past in the past.
Pray together daily. God must be at the center of a Christian marriage for guidance, provision, and keeping you united in purpose.
Practice acts of service. Look for ways to lighten each other’s load through selflessness instead of entitlement. Consider your lover more important than self.
Be quick to affirm, slow to criticize. Appreciation and validation strengthen the bond between a husband and wife more than criticism ever can.
Manage money responsibly. Harmony in finances prevents stress and arguments. Agree on a budget, save for the future, and hold accountability.
People who want to get rich fall into temptation…which plunge them into ruin and destruction.” 1 Timothy 6:9-10
Enjoy each moment together. Even when busy, carve out time to connect, have fun and cherish this partnership as God’s gift. Cherish each other always.
1. Focus on developing your relationship with God through prayer, Bible study, and fellowship. As traditional as that may sound, never despise meetings in church.
Hebrews 10:25 (NLT): And let us not neglect our meeting together, as some people do, but encourage one another, especially now that the day of his return is drawing near.
2. Work on becoming the best version of yourself – mentally, emotionally, spiritually, and physically. Keep on developing capacity!
Romans 12:2 (NIV): Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing, and perfect will.
3. Guard your heart and steer clear of empty relationships, compare dating standards to God’s.
Proverbs 4:23 (NLT): “Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.
4. Use dating apps prayerfully if desired but don’t obsess – connect in real life with wisdom and patience.
Proverbs 19:11 (NLT): Common sense is a fountain of life to those who embrace it, but discipline is wasted on fools.
5. Pray daily for your future spouse.
Philippians 4:6-7 (NLT): Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. Then you will experience God’s peace, which exceeds anything we can understand.
For Couples:
6. Be particular about intimacy through meaningful conversations beyond daily logistics and make time for romantic exploring.
Song of Solomon 2:3-6 (NLT): Like an apple tree among the trees of the forest is my lover among the young men. I delight to sit in his shade, and his fruit is sweet to my taste. He has taken me to the banquet hall, and his banner over me is love. Strengthen me with raisins and refresh me with apples, for I am faint with love. His left arm is under my head, and his right arm embraces me.
7. Protect your union from temptation and harmful influences that threaten oneness through social media, spending, or unwise friendships.
1 Thessalonians 5:22 (NLT): Avoid every kind of evil.
8. Communicate affection through generosity of word, action and non-sexual touch to foster deep bonding.
Ephesians 4:29-31 (NLT): Don’t use harmful words, but only helpful words, the kind that build up and provide what is needed, so that what you say will do good to those who hear you. And do not grieve God’s Holy Spirit. You were sealed for the day of redemption. For a man who loves his wife actually shows love for himself.
9. Resolve conflicts respectfully through active listening, humility, repentance and compromise instead of aggressive reactions.
Proverbs 15:1 (NLT): A gentle answer deflects anger, but harsh words make tempers flare.
10. Pray together daily for vision, strength, and blessings upon your family
Eph 3:14 (MSG) My response is to get down on my knees before the Father,
