Family Vision: The Roadmap For Your Love Life

by Rev Dunamis Okunowo | Oct 9, 2024 | Singles and Married

Why Your Family Needs a Vision (Yes, It’s a Thing)

Ever feel like life is just a series of random events? If you’re married or thinking about it, you might wonder how to make sure you and your partner are on the same page, especially when it comes to your future. That’s where having a family vision comes in. It’s like a roadmap for your relationship—your guide to what you both want in life, whether that’s growing spiritually, having kids, or building a dream home.

When couples take the time to create a family vision, they’re setting up their lives for fewer miscommunications and stronger teamwork. It’s not just about avoiding conflict (although, let’s be real, that’s a bonus), it’s about thriving together.

Think of your family vision as the North Star that keeps you both moving in the same direction, even when life throws curveballs. The key here? Communication. When you talk through your goals, dreams, and values, you’re building something solid—a partnership that’s grounded in love, trust, and mutual understanding.

Aligning Your Goals: Why It Matters

Let’s get real—life can get messy. Between work, church, friends, and everything in between, it’s easy for couples to drift apart when their goals aren’t aligned. That’s why having those honest conversations about where you’re heading as a couple is so important.

Here’s what aligning your goals does:

• Improves Communication: When you’re both clear about what you want, misunderstandings are less likely to happen.
• Fosters Accountability: You’re not just partners; you’re teammates. A shared vision keeps you both invested and working toward the same things.
• Deepens Your Relationship: Working together on shared goals strengthens your connection. Plus, it makes celebrating those wins so much sweeter.

Finding Your Individual Values and Goals

Before you can create a vision for your family, it’s important to know what each of you values individually. What’s important to you? What are your personal goals? This is where you get to reflect and be real with each other.

Here’s a little exercise to try: Each of you write down your top 10 values (think faith, career, adventure, family, or health). Once you have your lists, compare them. Do you notice any overlaps? Maybe you both value community service or personal growth. And for the values that don’t match, don’t stress—this is a great opportunity to have deeper conversations about how you can support each other’s dreams while blending them into your family vision.

And don’t just stop at values. Talk about goals, both big and small. What does each of you want to accomplish in the next year? Five years? Whether it’s saving for a house or getting more involved in church, knowing each other’s aspirations is key to building that shared vision.

How to Create a Family Vision (Without Overcomplicating It)

So, how do you actually create a family vision? It’s simpler than you think.

1. Set the Mood: Find a comfortable spot, grab your favorite snacks, and make sure there are no distractions. This is your time to connect.
2. Share Your Dreams: Start by talking about what’s important to you as individuals. What kind of family life do you both want? What are your biggest hopes for the future?
3. Find Common Ground: Look for the goals and values you both share. These are the building blocks of your family vision.
4. Document It: Write it down! Whether it’s a couple of bullet points or a full-on mission statement, get your shared vision on paper. You can always tweak it later.

Remember, this process should be fun, not stressful. It’s about dreaming together and making sure you’re both excited about the future.

Turning Your Vision into Action: SMART Goals

Now that you’ve got a vision, it’s time to make it real. And to do that, you need to set some goals—specifically, SMART goals (Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Relevant, and Time-bound).

Here’s how you can do it:

• Specific: Be clear about what you want. Instead of saying, “We want to save money,” say, “We want to save N20,000 for a house down payment by 2026.”
• Measurable: How will you track your progress? Maybe it’s saving N500 a month.
• Achievable: Be realistic. Can you both commit to these goals given your current situation?
• Relevant: Make sure the goals tie into your shared vision.
• Time-bound: Set deadlines to keep yourselves on track.

SMART goals keep you focused, motivated, and accountable.

Crafting Your Family Mission Statement

A mission statement for your family might sound a little too “corporate,” but it’s actually a really meaningful way to keep your family vision front and center. It’s like a manifesto that reflects what matters most to you both.

Start by discussing your core values and what kind of family culture you want to create. Once you’ve got some ideas, draft a short statement that captures your shared goals and values. Something like: “We’re a family that values faith, kindness, and adventure. We’re committed to growing together, supporting each other, and making a positive impact in our community.”

Involving Kids in the Vision

Got kids? Include them in the process! It doesn’t matter if they’re young or teenagers—getting them involved helps them feel like part of the team.

For younger kids, try simple activities like having them draw what they want the future to look like. For older kids, ask them what they think is important for your family’s future. You might be surprised by their insights!

Keep It Fresh: Reviewing Your Vision

Life changes, and so should your family vision. Make it a point to review and reassess your vision every year or so. Things like career changes, a new baby, or a move can shift your goals and priorities, so it’s important to stay flexible.

During these review sessions, talk about what’s working, what needs tweaking, and what new goals you want to set. This not only keeps you on track but also keeps the conversation flowing.

Celebrate the Wins (Big and Small)

Don’t forget to celebrate your progress! Whether it’s paying off a debt, hitting a savings goal, or just surviving a tough season—acknowledge the wins. Celebrating together strengthens your bond and makes the journey that much more rewarding.

At the end of the day, creating a family vision is about building a life that reflects your shared dreams and values. It’s not about perfection—it’s about intentionality, growth, and staying connected through all the ups and downs. So take the time to dream big, plan together, and enjoy the ride. You’ve got this!