This is one of the most important lessons anyone can learn in life, relationships, and marriage.
Deuteronomy 30:19 [KJV] I call heaven and earth to record this day against you, that I have set before you life and death, blessing and cursing: therefore choose life, that both thou and thy seed may live:
Our text today tells us we can choose life. In order to live and enjoy life, we have to choose our lives. We must exercise our power of choice.
For many years, I was led by my feelings and emotions. I must admit I was a very slow learner. Thank God He never gave up on me. I allowed my feelings to direct my moods, feelings, thoughts, actions, and inactions.
This got me into a lot of trouble—troubles I could have avoided. If someone hurt me, my day was literally ruined. I wasted years on this roller coaster of emotions. It was as though I was stuck.
I was where the devil wanted me. A place where my emotions were in control. I didn’t know how to allow my spirit and the word of God to control my life. If I woke up feeling bad or down, my whole day was going to be bad. How many opportunities have we allowed to slip by as a result of not managing our emotions?
But thank God, our God is a restorer. He will restore the year that the caterpillar has eaten and destroyed. We can be in control and in charge of our emotions and say No to the voice of our feelings.
Let the Word of God dwell in you richly. Choose to live above your feelings. When you choose to obey God rather than your feelings, your feelings will catch up with your decisions and eventually line up. As you do this, you will begin to experience the quality of life God has for you.
As women, the fact that we are emotional beings doesn’t mean we should be controlled by our emotions. People can hurt you with their words and actions, but move past it. Forgive, forget, and love on. You get better off for doing this.
Am I saying you will not be hurt? On the contrary, move past it with the help of the Holy Spirit and be in control. Tell yourself you are in charge here.
Experience a richer life by not living by the dictates of your flesh and feelings.
Practical Tips To Navigate The Sanguine-Melancholy Relationship
What Happens When Opposites Attract?
So, picture this: You’re the life of the party, always the first one on the dance floor, and your partner? Well, they’re the ones making sure the playlist has the perfect mix of tracks to keep the vibe going. That’s what happens when a Sanguine marries a Melancholy—two temperaments that couldn’t be more different but somehow find a way to make the relationship work.
Sanguines are the social butterflies, the ones who can talk to anyone about anything, and they thrive on being the center of attention. They’re all about fun, spontaneity, and living in the moment. Think of them as the people who can turn a boring Tuesday into an unforgettable adventure. On the flip side, Melancholies are the deep thinkers, the planners, the ones who prefer a quiet night in with a good book over a wild night out. They’re detail-oriented, organized, and often a bit more introverted.
It sounds like a match made in chaos, right? But here’s the thing—when these two temperaments come together, they can actually create a pretty awesome balance. Sanguines help Melancholies loosen up and enjoy life’s little surprises, while Melancholies bring a much-needed sense of order and calm to the Sanguine’s whirlwind of energy.
The Real-Life Struggles of a Sanguine-Melancholy Relationship
Let’s get real—every relationship has its ups and downs, but when you’re dealing with such different personalities, things can get a bit more… interesting.
For starters, a Sanguine’s need for constant social interaction can be overwhelming for a Melancholy. Imagine being dragged to party after party when all you want is some peace and quiet. On the other hand, Sanguines might feel frustrated by their partner’s love for solitude, seeing it as a sign that they’re not interested in spending time together.
And then there’s the way they communicate. Sanguines are all about expressing themselves in the moment—they’re spontaneous and love to chat about whatever pops into their heads. Melancholies, however, prefer to think things through before speaking, which can sometimes lead to misunderstandings. A Sanguine might feel like their partner is too serious or critical, while a Melancholy might find their partner’s quick decisions a bit reckless.
These differences can make decision-making a challenge too. While a Sanguine might want to book a last-minute trip to a new city, the Melancholy will be busy weighing the pros and cons, thinking about all the details that need to be planned out. It’s easy to see how these opposing approaches can lead to some tension.
Making It Work: Tips for Sanguine-Melancholy Couples
So, how do you make a relationship like this work? Here are a few tips that can help:
Communicate, Communicate, Communicate: This can’t be stressed enough. Sanguines need to slow down a bit and listen, while Melancholies should try to be a bit more open to spontaneous conversations. Setting aside time for meaningful talks can help both partners feel heard and understood.
Practice Empathy: Try to see things from your partner’s perspective. If you’re the Sanguine, understand that your Melancholy partner isn’t being a buzzkill—they just need some quiet time to recharge. And if you’re the Melancholy, remember that your partner’s love for socializing is part of who they are, and they’re not trying to overwhelm you.
Find a Middle Ground: Compromise is key. Maybe that means agreeing to attend one social event a week instead of three, or planning activities that both partners enjoy. Blending spontaneity with structure can create a routine that satisfies both personalities.
Celebrate Your Differences: Instead of seeing your differences as obstacles, try to see them as strengths. The Sanguine’s enthusiasm can bring excitement to the relationship, while the Melancholy’s thoughtful approach can provide stability. Together, you can create a life that’s both fun and grounded.
Why This Pairing Can Be the Best of Both Worlds
Despite the challenges, a Sanguine-Melancholy relationship has the potential to be incredibly fulfilling. When you combine the Sanguine’s zest for life with the Melancholy’s depth and precision, you get a partnership that’s dynamic, balanced, and rich with experiences.
Think of it this way: The Sanguine might be the one who plans a spontaneous road trip, while the Melancholy ensures that the car is packed with everything you’ll need. Together, you’ll have the best of both worlds—adventure with a safety net.
And at the end of the day, isn’t that what we’re all looking for? Someone who can bring out the best in us, even if they do it in a completely different way than we would? A Sanguine-Melancholy marriage might not be easy, but it’s definitely worth it.
So, you’ve probably heard the term “choleric” thrown around, but what does it really mean? Imagine someone who’s always on the move, setting goals left and right, and smashing through them like a boss. That’s the choleric temperament in a nutshell. These folks are the definition of driven—think of them as the CEO types who don’t just talk about big dreams; they make them happen. Whether it’s leading a project at work or planning a weekend getaway, they’re the ones taking charge.
But here’s the catch: with all that ambition and energy, cholerics can sometimes come off as a bit… intense. They know what they want, and they want it now. This urgency can lead to impatience, especially when others don’t keep up with their pace. And let’s be real—being around someone who’s always in high gear can be exhausting. But hey, that’s just part of their charm, right?
Now, Enter the Phlegmatic: The Chill Partner You Didn’t Know You Needed
On the flip side, we’ve got the phlegmatic temperament. If cholerics are the storm, phlegmatics are the calm after it. These are the people who make you feel like everything’s going to be okay, no matter what. They’re steady, reliable, and just have this way of keeping things cool even when life gets chaotic.
Phlegmatics are like that friend who’s always down for a relaxed night in, making sure everyone’s comfortable and having a good time. They avoid drama like the plague and would rather keep the peace than stir the pot. But while their laid-back nature is a blessing, it can also be a bit of a curse. Sometimes, they struggle to get moving, and procrastination can be their middle name. But once they’re on board, you can bet they’ll see things through to the end.
When Choleric Meets Phlegmatic: The Dynamic Duo
So, what happens when a choleric marries a phlegmatic? You get a relationship that’s equal parts fire and ice, with all the potential for both friction and fusion. It’s like pairing a go-getter with a peacekeeper—a combo that’s as intriguing as it is challenging.
Conflict Central: The first place these two might clash is in decision-making. Cholerics, being the natural leaders they are, want to make decisions quickly and efficiently. Meanwhile, phlegmatics take their sweet time, weighing every option because they want to avoid any conflict down the road. This can drive a choleric nuts, making them think their partner isn’t pulling their weight, while the phlegmatic might feel bulldozed by the choleric’s forcefulness.
Talk the Talk: Then there’s communication. Cholerics are straight shooters; they’ll tell you exactly what’s on their mind without sugarcoating it. Phlegmatics, on the other hand, prefer to keep things gentle and kind, which can sometimes lead to them bottling up their feelings. The result? The choleric might come off as too harsh, and the phlegmatic too passive, leading to some serious misunderstandings.
How to Make It Work: Tips for Choleric-Phlegmatic Marriages
But it’s not all doom and gloom—far from it! When these two temperaments learn to appreciate each other’s strengths, they can create a balanced, fulfilling relationship.
Communication is Key: Cholerics, take a breath and give your phlegmatic partner time to voice their thoughts. And phlegmatics, don’t be afraid to speak up—even if it’s to say, “Hey, can we slow down a bit?” Finding a middle ground in communication will help keep both partners happy.
Embrace the Differences: Remember that these contrasting traits can actually complement each other. The choleric’s drive can give the relationship direction, while the phlegmatic’s calm nature can provide the balance needed to avoid burnout.
Conflict Resolution 101: Cholerics, practice a little patience. Your phlegmatic partner isn’t being slow to annoy you—they’re just making sure things are done right. Phlegmatics, don’t shy away from expressing your opinions. You’ve got valuable insights that can help steer the ship, too.
Grow Together: Both partners should focus on personal growth. Cholerics can work on softening their approach, while phlegmatics might want to push themselves to be more assertive. This way, both partners grow stronger together, creating a more harmonious marriage.
Your Turn: What’s Your Temperament?
So, where do you fall on the temperament spectrum? Whether you’re a choleric, phlegmatic, or somewhere in between, understanding your personality type—and your partner’s—can be a game-changer in relationships. Drop a comment below and share your thoughts, or tell us how you and your partner navigate your own unique dynamic!
