Before God brings you into a relationship, He first brings you into yourself. The single season isn’t a pause button; it’s the molding table where destinies are shaped, callings are refined, and identities are rooted. Marriage is becoming, not graduation.
Many singles are eager to “meet the right person,” but God is more invested in making you be the right person first. Because who you are becoming in this season determines what you will build in the next.
One of the greatest mistakes we make is rushing through singlehood as if it’s an accidental gap in life. But God doesn’t waste seasons. If He allows a waiting period, it means there is a becoming; He is still shaping inside you.
“To everything there is a season, and a time to every purpose under heaven.”- Ecclesiastes 3:1
Your single season is a purpose-bearing season, not a holding pattern. It’s the time God uses to strengthen the areas that love will one day depend on patience, character, emotional discipline, spiritual conviction, healing, and vision.
This is the season where God teaches you how to be whole, so you don’t enter marriage expecting another human being to rescue, complete, or define you. People can complement you, but only God can complete you.
“You are complete in Him…” – Colossians 2:10
Before Adam ever met Eve, he had an assignment: he was naming, tending, stewarding, and walking with God. Purpose came before partnership. Identity came before intimacy. Wholeness came before union.
So, nothing has changed.
God still prepares His daughters and sons the same way. He develops you privately before celebrating you publicly.
This is the season to ask deeper questions:
Who am I outside my desire for marriage?
What is God calling me to build?
How is He shaping my character?
What weaknesses need healing?
What strengths need sharpening?
You are not becoming for marriage, you are becoming for purpose, and marriage will flow from that.
“For we are His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus unto good works…” – Ephesians 2:10
So don’t rush the process. Don’t underestimate the season. Don’t despise the shaping.
You are not behind schedule.
You are being prepared.
When God finishes the work He’s doing in you, the next chapter will meet you ready, not needy.
Marriage is one of those things that everyone seems to talk about but few really prepare for deeply. Whether you’re single, dating, engaged, or already married, the question remains: What does it really mean to build a Christ-centered relationship?
The Bible doesn’t leave us hanging. It gives us timeless wisdom—not just for couples but also for those who are still waiting for “the one.” Let’s dive into some practical, heart-level principles that can help us set the right foundation.
1. Start with the Right Blueprint
Every building needs a solid plan. In the same way, relationships need the right foundation. Jesus Himself gave us the ultimate blueprint:
But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.(Matthew 6:33, ESV)
For singles, this means don’t make marriage the idol you chase; make Christ the center of your life first. For married couples, it means your relationship thrives best when both partners are chasing after Jesus together, not just each other.
2. Love as Christ Loves
Marriage isn’t just about romance; it’s about reflecting Christ’s love. Paul puts it beautifully:
Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave Himself up for her.(Ephesians 5:25, NIV)
Notice the kind of love here: sacrificial, patient, and selfless. This principle applies to singles too: learning to love others with Christ’s kind of love prepares you for a healthy relationship later on.
3. Build on Friendship, Not Just Feelings
Feelings fade, but friendship lasts.
A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for adversity.(Proverbs 17:17, NKJV)
For singles, this means cultivating genuine friendships before rushing into romance. For married couples, it’s a reminder to nurture friendship with your spouse; laugh together, support each other, and be each other’s safe place.
4. Communication is Kingdom Business
The Bible says:
Let your conversation be always full of grace, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how to answer everyone.(Colossians 4:6, NIV)
Words can either build or break. Singles can practice this principle by learning to communicate with kindness and honesty in daily life. Married couples, on the other hand, need to be intentional about using words to heal, not to hurt.
5. Remember, Marriage is a Ministry
Marriage isn’t just about two people being happy. It’s about glorifying God together.
Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.(Mark 10:9, NLT)
This verse is a sober reminder: marriage is God’s idea, not just a human contract. When couples see their relationship as a ministry, it changes everything; decisions, sacrifices, even how conflicts are handled.
Whether you’re single or married, the call is the same: build your life around Christ. Singles, let God shape you into the person who can love well. Married couples, keep Christ at the center, not as a decoration but as the very foundation.
At the end of the day, relationships grounded in Jesus last, not because life is perfect, but because the Rock they’re built on never shakes.
This article is dedicated to those who are single and struggling with the waiting season.
As we move into the last quarter of the year, it’s a season of weddings almost every weekend, but you are not even engaged yet. You may be asking, “God when?” The waiting can be exhausting, and for some, even their patience feels worn out. But before you get overwhelmed, let me remind you of something essential: what you need most in this season is peace.
Now, peace is often misunderstood. It’s not about pretending everything is fine or avoiding challenges. It’s not passivity, indifference, or simply staying calm on the surface. True peace is much deeper.
There are 3 different types of peace I want to share with us this morning.
1. Emotional Peace This is the inner stability that remains even when circumstances look uncertain. It’s that quiet assurance inside that helps you hold steady when life feels unbalanced.
2. Relational Peace This kind of peace shows up in the way we interact with others. It prevents bitterness, jealousy, and lingering resentment, even toward those who may seem to be living the life we’re praying for.
If possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all. Romans 12:18 [ESV]
3. Spiritual Peace This is the most important of all. It’s the peace that comes from being reconciled with God through Christ. It’s knowing you’re no longer under condemnation but are secure in God’s love. Without this, you’ll always feel a void, no matter your relationship status.
So why is peace so important for singles? Because it’s part of our inheritance as children of God.
For the kingdom of God is not a matter of eating and drinking but of righteousness and peace and joy in the Holy Spirit. Romans 14:17 [ESV]
Tomorrow, I will walk us through how to walk in peace, perfect peace that comes from God.
Disagreements are part of every relationship. Whether you are dating, married, or even building close friendships, two people will not always see life the same way. The important thing is not avoiding conflict but learning to handle it in a way that pleases God.
Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love. Make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace.Ephesians 4:2–3 (NIV)
Here are some biblical steps that can help us deal with conflict in healthy ways:
1. Pause and Pray
When emotions rise, it’s tempting to keep pressing your point. But prayer changes the atmosphere. Stopping to pray softens hearts, calms emotions, and invites God’s wisdom into the situation. Couples can pray together; singles can pray before responding to a friend or partner. In both cases, prayer helps us put love above pride.
Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God.Philippians 4:6 (NKJV)
2. Listen Beyond the Words
Arguments often go in circles because we only hear the words, not the heart behind them. A disagreement about money or chores might really be about feeling unappreciated or unsupported. When we listen with patience, we begin to understand the deeper need. This is true whether you are resolving conflict in marriage, in dating, or even in family life.
The purpose in a man’s heart is like deep water, but a man of understanding will draw it out.Proverbs 20:5 (ESV)
3. Speak with Kindness
Words can either heal or hurt. Instead of saying, “You never listen,” try, “I feel hurt when I don’t feel heard.” Gentle words lower defenses and make space for reconciliation. Whether you’re a husband speaking to a wife, a fiancée to a fiancé, or a friend to another, kind speech builds bridges instead of walls.
A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.Proverbs 15:1 (NIV)
4. Value Unity Over Winning
Sometimes we argue as if we are opponents. But in God’s design, relationships are partnerships. The goal is not to “win” the argument but to protect unity. In marriage, it means remembering that it’s not husband versus wife, but both of you versus the problem. In dating and friendships, it means choosing peace over pride.
And above all these put on love, which binds everything together in perfect harmony.Colossians 3:14 (ESV)
5. Seek Wise Counsel When Needed
Some conflicts can be solved between the two of you; others may need the wisdom of a mentor, pastor, or counselor. God places people in our lives to guide us and help us see what we sometimes can’t see on our own. This is true in marriage, courtship, and even friendships.
Plans fail for lack of counsel, but with many advisers they succeed.Proverbs 15:22 (NIV)
Final Word
Conflict is not a sign that your relationship is failing. It is a reminder that two imperfect people are learning to love like Christ, with patience, humility, and grace.
When we choose prayer over pride, listening over arguing, and unity over winning, we not only resolve disagreements but also grow stronger together in Christ.
Are you a minister, pastor, church worker, or leader, and you live in Ibadan? You are cordially invited to “Equip” a Minister’s Conference with Rev Femi Oduwole and Rev Gbeminiyi Eboda as part of our 9th anniversary convention.
Rev Dunamis and Sophia Okunowo will also be hosting us. Attendance is free, but registration is required. Kindly register on this link – https://kissesandhuggs.com/conv2025
Don’t miss it. Spread the word!
Choosing a life partner is one of the most significant decisions you’ll ever make. This person will walk beside you through joys and trials, share your dreams, and help shape the legacy you leave behind. But this decision shouldn’t rest solely on human wisdom or fleeting emotions—it must be guided by God’s direction and design. Here’s how to discern who your life partner is with God at the center of the process.
1. Surrender Your Desires to God
Before seeking a spouse, surrender your desires and expectations to the Lord. Often, our vision for “the perfect partner” is shaped by societal standards, past experiences, or unmet needs. However, Psalm 37:4 reminds us, “Delight yourself in the Lord, and He will give you the desires of your heart.” When you delight in God above all else, He aligns your heart with His plan, replacing selfish ambitions with godly priorities.
Pray and ask God to reveal His will for your future spouse. Trust that His timing and choice are far better than anything you could orchestrate on your own.
2. Seek Wisdom and Discernment
God promises wisdom to those who ask (James 1:5), so seek His guidance as you navigate relationships. Look beyond surface-level attractions and evaluate character, values, and spiritual maturity. Proverbs 18:22 says, “He who finds a wife finds what is good and receives favor from the Lord.” Notice the emphasis on finding someone who reflects goodness—a reflection of God’s nature.
Ask yourself: Does this person exhibit fruit of the Spirit (Galatians 5:22-23)? Are they committed to growing closer to God? Do they honor others and demonstrate integrity? These qualities matter far more than external appearances or temporary chemistry.
3. Set Boundaries and Standards Based on Scripture
As you wait for God’s leading, establish clear boundaries and non-negotiable standards rooted in Scripture. For example:
A shared faith in Christ (2 Corinthians 6:14)
A commitment to purity and holiness (1 Thessalonians 4:3-5)
Alignment in core values like family, finances, and ministry
Boundaries protect your heart and ensure you don’t settle for less than God’s best. Remember, compromise on foundational principles can lead to long-term struggles in marriage.
4. Involve Godly Counsel
Proverbs 11:14 states, “Where there is no guidance, a people falls, but in an abundance of counselors, there is safety.” Surround yourself with trusted mentors, pastors, or spiritually mature friends who can provide objective insight into potential partners. They can help identify red flags you might overlook due to emotions or infatuation.
Additionally, observe how the person interacts with their family, friends, and community. Their behavior outside of your relationship reveals much about their true character.
5. Trust God’s Timing
Patience is key when deciding who your life partner is. It’s easy to feel pressured by cultural timelines or comparisons with others, but Ecclesiastes 3:1 assures us, “There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens.” Rushing into a relationship without divine confirmation can lead to heartache, while waiting on God ensures alignment with His purpose.
While you wait, focus on becoming the kind of person you hope to marry. Use this season to deepen your relationship with God, serve others, and grow in wisdom and maturity.
Deciding who your life partner is isn’t just about choosing someone—it’s about allowing God to guide you to the right person at the right time. Keep Him at the forefront of your search, trusting that He knows what’s best for you. As you pray, seek wise counsel, and set godly standards, rest assured that He will lead you to a partner who complements your journey and shares your commitment to glorify Him.
Remember, marriage is not only a union between two people—it’s a covenant involving God Himself. Let your decision reflect reverence for His design and dependence on His direction. With faith and obedience, you’ll find the joy and fulfillment that come from partnering with both God and the person He has chosen for you.
Proverbs 19:14 concludes, “Houses and wealth are inherited from parents, but a prudent wife is from the Lord.” Trust that your life partner is a gift from Him—and trust in His perfect timing to bring it to pass.
