Yesterday, we started on this topic on dealing with anger issues. If you misses the devotional, you can read it here.
If you are in a relationship with someone who flies off the handle easily, learn to seek help. Don’t just keep quiet and don’t think he would just change naturally. It takes deliberate efforts to realize and then change!
Don’t get angry together and at the same time! Learn to calm down for one another! Get books and read and deal with than anger so that you don’t end up raising angry children who will take the anger to another level.
If you are in a relationship wherein both of you have serious anger problems and are not patient with each other, that is not too good. Start working on it now, so that your coming together which is supposed to translate into strength will not be the other way round.
Pro 16:32 KJV He that is slow to anger is better than the mighty; and he that ruleth his spirit than he that taketh a city.
Here are practical ways to deal with problems of anger
1. Pray about it and ask God to help you by His Spirit
2. Seek help from your pastor or mentors
3. Stay in God’s word. Your soul can be restored when you meditate regularly in God’s word
4. Get good books that address the weakness and study
5. Discuss with your finance/spouse and look at how you can deal with the weakness
6. Learn to keep quiet when you are angry. You often say things you will regret later, but the words, like swords could have done the harm.
7. Do not make quick decisions while you are angry. Your sense of judgment is warped at such times.
8. Forgive easily. Don’t be revengeful and stubborn. Let God handle the situation for you.
9. Don’t allow anger and hurts to push you into sexual sins because you want get back at your ex or your spouse. That will complicate issues for you.
10. Don’t listen to someone who appears ‘nice’ and wants you to sin when you are hurting badly. It is usually a trap of the devil to complicate issues when a ‘nice’ person suddenly shows up when you are at loggerheads with your spouse. Be careful!
There are more, but I believe these practical ways will be of help.
I rebuke every spirit behind anger and wrath in your life, relationship and marriage in Jesus name. I pray for God’s help over you in Jesus name.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I am not an angry person. I am cool and level-headed. I am delivered from anger issues I might have been exhibiting.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord, deliver me from anger issues I have.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Pro 16:32 KJV He that is slow to anger is better than the mighty; and he that ruleth his spirit than he that taketh a city.
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Make use of the practical ways listed above.
Gen 49:5-7 KJV (5) Simeon and Levi are brethren; instruments of cruelty are in their habitations. (6) O my soul, come not thou into their secret; unto their assembly, mine honour, be not thou united: for in their anger they slew a man, and in their selfwill they digged down a wall. (7) Cursed be their anger, for it was fierce; and their wrath, for it was cruel: I will divide them in Jacob, and scatter them in Israel.
There is nothing that kills relationships and marriages faster than what I want to write about today. Anger!
In the above verses, Simeon and Levi are brothers, but their combination was a tragedy! Both of them had anger problems. What was the eventuality? They were divided and scattered!
That is exactly what happens to two angry unrepentant people in a relationship or marriage. That relationship or marriage cannot survive it.
Look at the way the Message translation puts it:
Gen 49:5-7 MSG (5) Simeon and Levi are two of a kind, ready to fight at the drop of a hat. (6) I don’t want anything to do with their vendettas, want no part in their bitter feuds; They kill men in fits of temper, slash oxen on a whim. (7) A curse on their uncontrolled anger, on their indiscriminate wrath. I’ll throw them out with the trash; I’ll shred and scatter them like confetti throughout Israel.
One angry person can curse a lot of havoc, not to talk of two angry couples or couples-to-be!
Are you the type or person that is ready to fight at the drop of a hat? You need to consciously and deliberately start working on that anger problem because it can ruin precious opportunities.
There is a place for a level of anger because we are all human. There is also a place for righteous indignation. But the type of anger that is dangerous is the one that lingers unnecessarily and makes you do things you will later regret.
This type of anger is almost a stupid one because you know you will eventually regret your words and actions!
Ecc 7:9 KJV Be not hasty in thy spirit to be angry: for anger resteth in the bosom of fools.
Message translation is quite interesting:
Ecc 7:9 MSG Don’t be quick to fly off the handle. Anger boomerangs. You can spot a fool by the lumps on his head.
I once heard Bishop Oyedepo in one of his messages, where he said he used to have anger problems until he read the above scriptures.
In the early days of our marriage, I get angry very easily. It was a kind of subdued anger, not enough for me to raise my hands against my wife! I have never done that and will never do that, no matter what! That is not a manly thing to do! It is unscriptural, and your prayers will be hindered when you raise your hands against a lady.
But, I used to be impatient. I am a quick person but my wife takes her time. I wanted to change her. When I am angry, I start lecturing my wife. After a while, I just had to change because the lecturing thing was not working. I had to learn early in marriage, to calm down when I am angry and then discuss.
Over the years, I have come to learn to smile at some of the things that get me bothered and aggravated and looking back at those years, I wondered why I had to be angry in the first place! We were not meant to be the same way! A book on temperament I read delivered me!
If you are married to someone with anger problem, here is an advice for you.
Pro 15:1 KJV A soft answer turneth away wrath: but grievous words stir up anger.
Pro 15:1 MSG A gentle response defuses anger, but a sharp tongue kindles a temper-fire.
Tomorrow, I will show you practical ways to deal with anger issues in your relationship.
Don’t miss it.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I am not an angry person. I am cool and level-headed. I am delivered from anger issues I might have been exhibiting.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord, deliver me from anger issues I have.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Pro 16:32 KJV He that is slow to anger is better than the mighty; and he that ruleth his spirit than he that taketh a city.
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Pray against all forms of anger issues you have.
BIBLE READING FOR THE DAY Prov 15
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‘I choose to forgive you for the bad words you have said to me.’ These were the words Tatiana said to Mercy before she turned away and started walking home.
Earlier that day, Mercy and her gang of bullies had done all they could to get Tatiana to lose her cool and start a fight. From spreading gossip about John and her kissing under the stairs during recess, to purposely pouring water on her. Can she forgive?
Tatiana didn’t lose her temper because she knew what they were trying to do. And she had made a vow to God that she wouldn’t answer back at Mercy. Her vow to Him was more important than anything the bully gang did or said. What mattered most was her vow to and relationship with God. And that was one of the reasons she found strength to forgive.
So instead of speaking or fighting back, choose to render forgiveness. You could say “I forgive you”, to the person’s face or in your heart. Not because you are afraid of them, but because that is what God wants you to do.
Remember the part in our Lord’s Prayer that talks about forgiving those who trespass against us? (“and forgive us our sins, as we have forgiven those who sin against us.” – Matthew 6:12). That is exactly what how God wants you to live. That is exactly what God desires you do when your friends annoy you – ignore them and forgive.
I pray that God will give you the power to choose to forgive. In Jesus’ name, Amen.
Prayer: Father, help me to choose forgiveness over retaliation. And as I render forgive, may I receive forgiveness too, in Jesus’ name. Amen.
Action Plan: Practice forgiveness all the time. Practice to just let go.
A wide and pleasant smile plastered over Tade’s face as he collected the bowl of food from the food seller at the school’s canteen. He couldn’t hold back the urge to pick a piece of meat and slide it into his mouth. But anger was lurking somewhere in the corner!
He had hardly taken two bites when someone crashed into him, sending both him and the plate of food to the ground. To make matters worse, his uniform was soiled with oil.
His eyes went from the food on the floor to the culprit standing over him. He heard the whole canteen go up in laughter as he focused on Yinka, his anger rising.
‘Why did you push me?’ he asked Yinka. Yinka chuckled and shrugged his shoulders. Tade saw this and just like all the other times like this, he knew Yinka would never apologize. This fueled his anger the more. ‘That was my lunch.’ ‘So?’ Yinka said, daring Tade to do his worst.
Tade bolted up in a flash and smacked Yinka straight in the face, followed by punches in the stomach and a powerful one to the jaw. Yinka staggered back, tasted the blood in his mouth, and spat out a tooth. Anger now ruled in the boys. Instantly Yinka responded with his own punches and the fight began.
At the end of the day, both boys were sitting in the Principal’s office with oil-stained uniforms, swollen faces, missing teeth, painful torsos, and no lunch.
Getting angry and acting out the anger, just like what happened in the story above, is why you shouldn’t let your anger control you. Tade got angry at what Yinka had done and attacked him, leading Yinka to act out his anger also. In the end, both boys had lost a lot.
When you hit back at someone, you likely will do so more than they hit back at you. And the person will also hit back at you more than you did. The cycle continues like that till it escalates to a point when both of you would have lost so much at the end. That is how anger cycles.
May God grant you the grace to hold back your anger. Amen.
Prayer: Lord, give me the grace to not be angry and act out my anger. Help me to keep my cool. Amen.
Action point: Pray that God will help you handle your anger well.
Your actions are important in dealing with anger. Jesus told the disciples to go into the world and share the Good News with all people.
“And he said unto them, Go ye into all the world, and preach the gospel to all creature.” Mark 16:15 KJV
This command is carried out by Christians through evangelism. They move from one place to another telling people about Christ. Now, with the internet all over the place, evangelism has moved from physically moving about to just pressing a button to disseminate a message worldwide. What this means is that your actions are not just about you; they are also about Christ.
Imagine someone says something nasty to you and quickly, you reply to them with much the same words or actions they meted out to you. What if the other person isn’t a Christian? Or a baby Christian? How do you think they will think of you?
“Oh, and he is a Christian.” “He says he is born-again; look at his actions.” “His parents are pastors.” “He is a member of the choir.”
These are some of the thoughts that would cross their minds. These thoughts are judging you (your actions) as a Christian, because you are supposed to show Christ in your actions. Yes, people will push you to do or say things you wouldn’t do normally, but you still have to remember that you are a light that points others to Christ. Your actions matter!
May you receive the strength to hold back and let Christ be revealed through you. Amen.
Before you respond in anger again, remember that your actions matter… and that you are representing God on earth. I pray that your actions will always show forth Christ.
Prayer: Lord, Jesus, make me a continual light guiding people to you. Help me to resist the urge to lash out in anger. Help me to take charge of my actions. In your mighty name, I pray, amen.
Action point: Pray and meditate on bible verses that show how to tame your tongue.
