After Failed Relationships, What Next? Hey! This must be my village people o!
Sandy has been in five relationships! Not one lasted a whole year! She moved from one guy to another seeking true love, but true love evaded her. She ended up being used by guys who could sense she was needy.
She began to feel something is wrong with her! Is something wrong with her? Is she under a curse? Her the village people meeting over her case at the village square under the Banana tree?
Let’s get into this!
There is nothing negative about failed relationships. It simply means you still need to learn more. What is negative there is refusing to learn and repeating the same mistakes over and over again.
In itself, nothing is negative about missing it. Even the Bible attested to that.
Pro 24:16 (KJV) For a just man falleth seven times, and riseth up again: but the wicked shall fall into mischief.
Staying down by repeating the same issues is where the problem is.
So after failed relationships, what next? I will talk about one out of several things you can do.
Sit down. Calm down. Be calming down! Smiles.
Don’t be a Boy Scout! Don’t be jumpy! Cool those hot hormones.
The scriptures advise you to do the same.
Psa 46:10 (KJV) Be still, and know that I am God: I will be exalted among the heathen, I will be exalted in the earth.
Be still! Hey, don’t rush into another relationship! It is in your stillness that you know God in your situation!
I particularly love the Message Translation:
Psa 46:10 (MSG) “Step out of the traffic…
After Failed Relationships, What Next?
Get out of the traffic of pursuing guys or ladies who don’t love you, of offering your body to get love, of allowing yourself to be emotionally manipulated all in the name of love! That is one traffic that is worse that Lagos traffic!
May God grant you more understanding! Have a fantastic day!
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I will not be hasty. I am teachable.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Oh Lord, teach me to be patient and wait on you
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Psa 46:10 (AMPC) Let be and be still, and know (recognize and understand) that I am God. I will be exalted among the nations! I will be exalted in the earth!
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Don’t rush into another relationship within six months of a failed relationship.
Run From The Incredible Hulk Lover. Whatever you are experiencing now is a snapshot of the whole marital album, it is a trailer of the season movies in your marriage. Rev. Dunamis Okunowo
Run From The Incredible Hulk Lover. We are looking at The Incredible Hulk as a type of man or woman not to marry.
In the cinemas, the hulk brings himself to high levels of gamma radiation which results in his transformation into a monstrous green being, whenever he experiences negative emotions.
One type of man or woman you cannot marry is that man who looks cool on an average day but who turns into a monster at any little provocation as a result of anger that is uncontrollable
The hulk is known for turning into a monster when he’s livid with anger and causes destruction all over the place.
Yes, there are people who become destructive when they are angry. They will break stuff, destroy things and let out their anger in ridiculous ways.
The scripture clearly advises that you do not marry such a person. In fact, it says that you don’t become friends with persons with uncontrollable anger not to talk of falling in love with them.
Falling in love with a lover who has uncontrollable anger is like falling in love with a nemesis, as even your life is not safe, neither is theirs!
Pro 22:24 (KJV) Make no friendship with an angry man; and with a furious man thou shalt not go:
A word is enough for the wise. Don’t let anybody damage your exterior because you are in love!
Run From The Incredible Hulk Lover. How do you know an angry person?
The Hebrew word used in the above verse is “ânaph” which means to “breathe hard or to be enraged.”
You would know angry persons from their countenance, mien, reactions, outbursts, tones, body language, and dispositions.
The Message Translation puts it this way:
Pro 22:24 (MSG) Don’t hang out with angry people; don’t keep company with hotheads.
Yet another translation says
Pro 22:24 (GNB) Don’t make friends with people who have hot, violent tempers.
Perhaps, an even more risky arrangement is two angry people getting married. They will not likely go far in their marital journey before crashing their love vehicle with irreparable damages.
There were two angry brothers who came together in anger. It all ended in tears. They were scattered, divided.
Gen 49:5-7 (KJV) Simeon and Levi are brethren; instruments of cruelty are in their habitations. [6] O my soul, come not thou into their secret; unto their assembly, mine honour, be not thou united: for in their anger they slew a man, and in their selfwill they digged down a wall. [7] Cursed be their anger, for it was fierce; and their wrath, for it was cruel: I will divide them in Jacob, and scatter them in Israel.
As you can see, it is not really worth it getting married to an incredible hulk who will get angry at no notice, who will manipulate your emotions and beg you, but the damage is done and the next feud of anger could be the next moment.
Why live with a person with whom you have to hold a knife around you just in case?
Why subject your tender emotions to a violent emotion whose expression makes you a victim all the time?
Why get beaten over and over again till you are almost losing your mind because this person exhibits a dual personality or bipolar tendencies?
Today he is calm, loving, and romantic, the next moment, there is a lump on his head and he is fuming as if he will strangle you.
As a single, why allow him/her to make love to you and then make mincemeat of you the next moment?
Why give blow jobs (which is sinful in itself as singles) only to take back blows on your head?
Whoever did this to you does not love you! Are you really planning a wedding with such a person? Sit down and think, prayerfully, if that is what you want all your life.
Whatever you are experiencing now is a snapshot of the whole marital album, it is a trailer of the season movies in your marriage.
If you don’t like what you are seeing now, then run for your life! Run From The Incredible Hulk Lover
I think I will stop here this morning.
I pray that God will give you more understanding and guide you into a great marriage in Jesus name! Be blessed!
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I will marry right
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord, lead me to the right person for me.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Prov 22:24 (AMP) Do not even associate with a man given to angry outbursts; Or go [along] with a hot-tempered man,
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Ask that the eyes of your understanding be opened.
Don’t Marry The Batman Or The Batwoman. Batman and Batwoman are known for being secretive. They are mysterious, secretive, and totally withdrawn.
Getting married to a secretive person can be risky. This guy or lady has no mentors, trusts no one, and relates with no one.
Mostly been abused in the past, disappointed by some persons in authority, or let down by people he or she trusted in.
There is usually a story that touches the heart around Batman And Batwoman.
The problem is that he will eventually create more stories that touch the heart in the lives of others.
What he hated and is running from becomes that which he inflicts on other people. She becomes a problem rather than a help in marriage.
Nobody really goes far by being secretive. Yes, I am not saying you should mouth your issues with everybody and anybody, that will be foolishness. However, there are people, usually less than three, that you have in your life and you can confide in.
This confidence reposed in trusted people brings healing on a level you don’t understand.
Jas 5:16 (KJV) Confess your faults one to another, and pray one for another, that ye may be healed. The effectual fervent prayer of a righteous man availeth much.
Yes, there is healing there.
However, the Batman husband is that man you live with and you really don’t know. He hardly talks. The wife is usually miffed because he talks to others, except her.
Don’t Marry The Batman Or The Batwoman. The Batwoman type of wife is the one who punishes you with silence. She starves you emotionally by withdrawing from you! You see her get excited with others except you.
He is that guy you know as a single and you don’t know any of his friends. He says he is not social, but the reality is that he is usually withdrawn for a reason.
Secrecy in relationships and marriage is dangerous. This is why every adulterous fling and cheating are predicated on secrecy.
You see, iniquity is perpetuated in secrecy.
He has the capacity to have flings, secrete chats, passworded phones, mysterious calls, girls’ names saved with carpenter, vulcanizer, Bolt man, and so on! Same with a Batwoman in marriage. She lives inside her thoughts and hardly talks.
In marriage, we are to be naked and not ashamed.
The Batman hides in the shadows obtaining information. He is suspicious of people and even suspicious of the person he wants to marry. He trusts nobody. She trusts nobody too.
Batman is never out to kill anybody. He appears to be a good person, but his secrecy will eventually leave you hurt.
He is a solitary lone fighter. He consults nobody. He doesn’t believe in having a spiritual father. He is the lover that tells you that you should keep your relationship in the cooler. He says he doesn’t want attention.
She refuses to introduce you to friends. Your relationship is like a secret cult.
But the more secretive a relationship is, the tendency to let go and drop it like hot potatoes. No commitments, zero casualties in terms of people involved, and so on.
Generally, people who talk to no one end up having major issues they can’t resolve all by themselves.
Don’t Marry The Batman Or The Batwoman
And it could get worse. Beaten in secret. Abused in secret. Manipulated in secret. Sexually starved in secret.
Sooner or later, the pain will be public. The shame will be open. The mystery will turn to misery.
Batman is the kind of man you don’t want to marry! The Batwoman is the type you should run from.
I pray that God will grant you more understanding in Jesus’ name. Your path will not cross with the wrong person. God will preserve you in Jesus’ name! You will not miss it! Did this devotional bless you? Don’t forget to share! Consider Partnering with us too!
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I will not be held in bondage in marriage
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord, grant me wisdom to discern
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Job 20:8 (KJV) He shall fly away as a dream, and shall not be found: yea, he shall be chased away as a vision of the night.
Don’t Marry The Flash. He wants to marry you because you are too beautiful, hours after meeting. He says you are the best thing that has ever happened to him, hours after meeting. Mr. Flash, slow down, it doesn’t work like that.
Who is the Flash? The flash is a scientist named Barry Allen who acquired super speed through a freak accident and becomes the fastest man alive.
Why shouldn’t you marry him? Beware of that guy who wants to sleep with you minutes after meeting you.
He is not interested in your person, he is only interested in your body. Those are two different things entirely. How does a person want to quickly sleep with the lady he just met? Something is out of place with that proclivity.
Knowing a person requires time. Besides, in this kingdom, we don’t compromise before the wedding! The moment he is rushing you, be careful. It takes time to know a person. Knowing a person requires time and several conversations!
You cannot fall in love with a person you barely know. There is a difference between love and lust.
Mr. Flash is driven by hormonal rushes. He’s had so many quick relationships that never worked out. He is the type that can ask three ladies out in one day. He is quick, nimble, and daring.
He is the type that convinces a lady he meets on the bus to follow him home and they are together for the next few weeks, sleeping together with a person he barely knows.
Once you see a flash in that guy, that is all it is, a flash, never a call.
People who hurry too much to arrive will also depart hurriedly.
Pro 21:5 (MSG) Careful planning puts you ahead in the long run; hurry and scurry puts you further behind.
Whenever it is too fast, and everybody is warning you, slow down and pray again.
Beware of the Flash!
Jer 2:25a (MSG) “Slow down. Take a deep breath. What’s the hurry? Why wear yourself out? Just what are you after anyway?
The Flash wants to marry you weeks after meeting you. A lot of ladies fall into this trap only to end up in a solo song titled, “He was not like this!” But the reality was that you never knew him.
Time is a tool to prove authenticity. Time reveals. Time exposes. Waiting on God to seek His face as regards that man will eventually put you ahead in life.
I conclude with this scripture!
Psa 46:10 (MSG) “Step out of the traffic! Take a long, loving look at me, your High God, above politics, above everything.”
In being still, you will know God, you will know His plan for you and you will avoid a whole lot of heartache.
I pray that God will give you more understanding in Jesus’ name. You will not be too hasty, but you will cooperate with God’s speed!
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I am not in a hurry. I am patient for God’s best.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Oh Lord, deliver me from unnecessary haste.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Ps 46:10 ESV “Be still, and know that I am God. I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth!”
One Man You Should Not Marry Is A Thanos. Today, we are looking at Thanos
Who is the “Thanos” husband? And why should you avoid such?
Thanos was a genocidal warlord from Titan, whose main goal was to bring stability to the world by wiping out half of all lives.
His objective to bring stability and peace is good. But his method is destructive. Thanos wants to bring peace by destroying lives.
Thanos kind of husband doesn’t mind crushing you to have his way.
Your emotions mean nothing to him, as long as his selfish objectives are achieved.
He is that guy who has paid for several abortions, terminating several conceptions because he doesn’t like using protection.
Run from Thanos. He doesn’t mind putting your womb at risk as long as his rush of adrenaline is satiated.
The reality is as singles, condom or not, sin is sin.
One Man You Should Not Marry Is A Thanos. The Bible warns against evil men!
Pro 2:11-12 (KJV) Discretion shall preserve thee, understanding shall keep thee: [12] To deliver thee from the way of the evil man, from the man that speaketh froward things;
Perhaps Thanos’ greatest ability is his capacity to rise from the dead. He can accomplish this by sacrificing others so he can live again, recharging his inner strength, so as to return more powerful and terrible than he was before.
Thanos kind of husband has no mercy for ladies. They are just tools for him, objects of sex, and nothing more.
He is the husband who will make advances on his wife’s siblings and who has no sexual decorum in any way. Thanos kind of husband believes there are too many ladies, and you can do whatever you want with them.
Thanos is also known for being manipulative. He is the husband who will manipulate you and make you feel guilty for what you never did.
He is the husband who makes you crawl on your knees to apologize whereas he is the culprit.
One Man You Should Not Marry Is A Thanos. Run from every Thanos, dear singles.
How do you know him as Singles?
Manipulation. Deceit. No regard for God.
Wants to sleep with you and you ask, what if I get pregnant? In the coldest unemotional voice possible, he retorts, “you’ll do the normal!” Abortion is normal to him!
Thanos has no mercy.
He will beat you up at the slightest provocation.
Physically, Thanos in movies stands above the average human with powerful muscles, a broad face, and a purple-hued skin tone.
You can’t match his strength. His potential wife or wife will have several black-eye moments, several bumps on the face, the result of brutality within sexuality.
Don’t put up with Thanos! Run!
I pray for you today, your path will not cross with evil men.
Good morning.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY My path will not cross with evil lovers
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Oh Lord, deliver me from every evil relationship.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Prov 2:11-12 NLT Wise choices will watch over you. Understanding will keep you safe. Wisdom will save you from evil people, from those whose words are twisted.
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Pray in the spirit over your relationship
This morning, we will be looking at the Ten Commandments For Lovers Part 2
3. Thou shalt not take the name of the LORD thy God in vain;
This is the third of ten commandments for lovers. They say you don’t know the value of something until you lose it. It doesn’t have to be your experience. Don’t take your partner’s love and commitment to the relationship for granted. Don’t be so used to each other that you expect nothing new anymore. If you are led to each other by God, then be committed to the relationship.
4. Remember the sabbath day, to keep it holy. To our brothers, remember her birthday to keep it holy. Ladies have a thing with dates. Significant dates like anniversaries, birthdays, the day she said yes etc may mean nothing to you but means a lot to her. If you need to set a reminder, please do.
Make such days memorable and use them as an opportunity to be good to the one you profess to love.
5. Honour thy father and thy mother Don’t fall in love and then disregard your parents. Respect her parents the same way you respect yours. Carry your pastors along; they are your spiritual parents. Give to your parents, pastors and mentors of your substance, that’s part of honour.
Ensure you have a mentor over your relationship. Good mentors save your from tormentors of life.
6. Thou shalt not kill. Don’t kill your relationship. Don’t always shut her up. Don’t ask her for sex. Don’t pressurize him to fix a wedding date. Don’t stop communicating. Now that she has said yes, don’t stop wooing her. Don’t dress provocatively when paying him a visit. You will kill him before you know it.
Do not sow wrong seeds into your relationship, because you always reap what you sow. Here is The Ten Commandments For Lovers Part 2. Tomorrow, we will look at Part 3
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I will not be careless with my relationship with God
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord, uphold me to seek you always
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Isa 45:19 (KJV) I have not spoken in secret, in a dark place of the earth: I said not unto the seed of Jacob, Seek ye me in vain: I the LORD speak righteousness, I declare things that are right.
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Have a heart to heart discussion with your lover concerning serving God
The Ten Commandments For Lovers. If the 10 commandments were written in the contemporary world, specifically for lovers, what would they look like? Let’s delve into it this morning!
The is not an attempt to change the ten commandments, no those are sacrosanct. This is just a creative way to apply them to our love life and creatively learn from them.
1. Thou shalt have no other gods before me. This is the first of the ten commandments for lovers. This means you should not double-date. Don’t add another bone to the bone God has given you. Set your face like a flint and concentrate on your partner. One god is good enough in God’s injunctions. Even the traditionalist are focused.
One guy in Abuja and another in Lagos while going out with both is not God’s idea. One babe in Canada and the other in Nigeria, while professing love to both at the same time is never the style of the kingdom.
One young man to supply gadgets and an elderly rich man to supply cash is trying to eat your cake and have it. These actions are strange to the kingdom!
2. Thou shalt not make unto thee any graven image This is the second of the ten commandments for lovers. This means don’t idolize anything, including your relationship. Not your family, not your career, not your friends. Your walk with God should not suffer because you fell in love. Your lover should not become a graven image to replace God.
In your attempt to do that, you may end up losing that lover. God is to be worshipped, your lover is to be loved, don’t get it twisted. Your lover is never to be worshipped. Your lover cannot be your god.
You fell in love and you stopped reading your Bible? It’s not a good idea. Thinking all day about your lover has replaced meditation in God’s word. Not cool at all.
You used to send scriptures that bless you to friends, now you are sending pictures; nude pictures to your lover! That contravenes the kingdom lifestyle!
I will stop here this morning. To be continued tomorrow.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I am focused on my relationship.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord, help me to focus on my partner.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Isaiah 50:7 (KJV) For the Lord GOD will help me; therefore shall I not be confounded: therefore have I set my face like a flint, and I know that I shall not be ashamed.
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Write out all the good things in your partner.
How To Have A Blast and Still Be Blessed. Sally and George were so deeply in love! However, George wanted Sally to do certain things for him which were like crossing the red line for Sally. Sally was caught in the middle. She so much loved George but she also adored God. It was a tug of war between the flesh and the spirit.
Can one really have a blast and still be blessed? Yeah, right! You can have a blast and still be blessed in your relationship! You can have a blast in your relationship without displeasing God or losing His favour in the process.
Sally was confused. She wept severally because she loved George and she loved God. She knew she had to drop one. It was a hard decision for her. The thought of dropping George seemed suicidal. The thought of dropping God is pure hell. What would she do?
As she sat in my office seeking counsel, I had compassion for her. I knew what to tell her, but I prayed for a pearl of wisdom for the right vehicle for my words to avoid a destiny accident. Love issues can be very tricky!
“Pastor, what should I do?” I looked at her. Her mien was that of one who knows what to do but lacks the strength to do so.
“Have you been sexually involved?” I asked her
She hesitated. Her head bowed, her countenance taking a duck, I knew the answer right away!
Sheepishly, she said “Yes Pastor, but we asked for forgiveness!”
“I am not here to condemn you daughter” I chipped in so that guilt will not convolute the conversation and the devil will not explore that loophole.
“It was only five times,” she said,
“Okay, my daughter.”
“You are in a battle between your soul and your flesh. The flesh wants George. Your soul needs God. The confusion is there because there has been a compromise. Every time there is a compromise, the soul gets confused.
“Think about this daughter. George is the lover of your flesh. God is the lover of your soul. To know what to do, you have to get into your spirit. The struggle is real but the truth is there.
Gal 5:17a (MKJV For the flesh lusts against the Spirit, and the Spirit against the flesh.
Don’t be in a rush. God is not an author of confusion. Take some time and have a sincere conversation with God. I don’t want to call it prayer. Just talk to God. From your spirit, your belly, in your knower, you will know the truth, and when you know what to do, however painful it might seem, take that decision.
Let me warn you, emotionally, it won’t be easy, but eternally, it will be a blessing!
Remember this, God knows best! He will never lead you wrong and He will never abandon you!” The safest place to be is God’s side! This is How To Have A Blast and Still Be Blessed
“Thanks, Pastor.”
As she stood up to leave, I added, “I think the greatest misery a person can find himself is to seek pleasing his lover while displeasing God. Things are going to get awry quickly.
“I understand sir,” she said.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I will not disappoint God.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY
Lord, help me to the needful and not just listen my flesh
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Gal 5:16-17 (MKJV) I say, then, Walk in the Spirit and you shall not fulfill the lusts of the flesh. [17] For the flesh lusts against the Spirit, and the Spirit against the flesh. And these are contrary to one another; lest whatever you may will, these things you do.
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Decide for God, and not for your flesh!
Decide To Have A Blast In Your Relationship. Sandy and George fought all through their relationship! It lasted three years and there was not one week stretch without some heartache.
They got used to such heartaches till they thought it was normal. They got involved in many wrong things in their bid to have a nice time. And at the end of the day, they still broke up as a result of constant ceaseless series of quarrels and heartaches.
Well, I am here to tell you this morning, decide to enjoy yourself in that love story!
Quickly, I want to tell you how to enjoy your relationship and of course, how not to enjoy the relationship.
Decide To Have A Blast In Your Relationship!
How To Enjoy Your Relationship
1. Let the foundation of your relationship be God’s word. Whatever is opposed to God’s word, don’t do it.
Rom 14:23b (KJV) …for whatsoever is not of faith is sin.
2. Have a mutual mentor/pastor you are both talking to. There will be things that are beyond you and your saving grace will be that there is someone you can talk to.
3. Create a balance between faith and fun. The Cinemas are good, but make sure there are Bible studies too. The ice cream is okay but ensure you have time for fasting together. Balance is key.
How NOT to enjoy your relationship.
Sex should be out of the picture. This will eventually bring agony to the heart because you will lose God’s favour when you stay in disobedience. This will not be your portion in Jesus’ name.
2. Staying over the night in your lover’s place, playing a small Mummy role, and so on is not the way to go. In the kingdom, we don’t do such things. Continually spending nights together when you are not yet married will get you into unnecessary troubles.
3. Being in love or relationship with a person and keeping it secret already is symptomatic of serious issues. When you are disenfranchised from people and from authority figures because you are in love, you will suffer alone and have nobody to talk to during the day when the storms arise.
I am going to stop here this morning! Decide To Have A Blast In Your Relationship
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I will enjoy my relationship
PRAYER FOR THE DAY
Lord, keep me from falling. Hold me by the hand in Jesus’ name
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Rom 14:23b (AMPC) For whatever does not originate and proceed from faith is sin [whatever is done without a conviction of its approval by God is sinful].
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Stop those things that will not work eventually
Don’t Carry That Load Into Marriage. Sade is such a sweet lady who met Bode, a charming handsome guy. It was love at first, second and third sights! They fell in love like their love story was written from heaven itself.
Their courtship was short because they were both nearing their thirties. They were the quintessential couple, serving it hot for their teeming followers on Instagram.
They were so much in love or so it seemed. After the wedding, and just a few months after, several issues emanated and both of them were wondering where they found themselves.
They both had traveling baggage that they brought into the marriage! Don’t Carry That Load Into Marriage!
People whose baggage are traveling bags, seem like they have no issues, but the reality is that they have mastered the art of tucking away their weakness for months at a time.
Just like you don’t travel every day, they don’t show their issues every time. But seasonally, their “demons” come to the fore and seek to scatter things!
As soon as the imbroglio is settled, there would seem to be peace, but it would be short-lived. After some months, the problem rares its head again. It becomes frustrating because it would now seem the issues is there to be managed for life.
Jesus did not call you to manage problems and carry your baggage all through life.
He issues an eternal invitation and asks that you come for rest!
Are you tired from this load? Don’t Carry That Load Into Marriage!
Mat 11:28 (CEV) If you are tired from carrying heavy burdens, come to me and I will give you rest.
Talk to Jesus now, and He would surely give you rest!
Good morning!
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I have rest from all troubles in Jesus’ name
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord, open my eyes to see what I need to work on by your grace
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Mat 11:28 (GNB) “Come to me, all of you who are tired from carrying heavy loads, and I will give you rest.
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Empty your handbag at the foot of the cross
How To Enter Into A Rhythm of Favour . Oh, what would it be like to have streams of favour uninterrupted in one’s life, relationship and work?
Did the scripture promise something like that? Can it possibly be our reality?
Well, let’s take a look at the scriptures!
Mat 11:29 (MSG) Walk with me and work with me—watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won’t lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you.
The Message Translation of Matt 11:29 captures the essence of today’s devotional.
There is a rhythm of grace! An unforced rhythm of favour that makes life easy!
The word “rhythm” means “a strong, regular repeated pattern”
I pray for you today, God will bring you into a strong regular, repeated pattern of favour in Jesus’ name!
According to the scripture above, There are four things you are to do that will lead you into this rhythm
How To Enter Into A Rhythm of Favour 1. Walk 2. Work 3. Watch 4. Learn
There is a WALK and there is WORK! There is time spent with Him to WATCH Him and LEARN! When you do this, you will come into repeated pattern of favour!
Enoch walked with God and we know his testimonies. Jesus worked with God and we know what happened. Jesus said we should “Watch” and pray and he also said we should “Learn” of Him
As you begin to spend more time with God and His word, I pray that you will come into a strong, regular repeated pattern of God’s favour in Jesus’ name! This is How To Enter Into A Rhythm of Favour Good morning!
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I walk, work, watch and learn of Him
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord, teach me to walk and work with you
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Mat 11:29 (AMPC) Take My yoke upon you and learn of Me, for I am gentle (meek) and humble (lowly) in heart, and you will find rest (relief and ease and refreshment and recreation and blessed quiet) for your souls.
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Decide to practice His presence today
What Type of Baggage Are You Carrying? Sandy had been in four relationships and each time, she was sure she was going to walk down the aisle. But to her consternation, one thing or the other will crop up and there would always be a break-up!
She prayed and prayed. At some time, she thought she had been cursed. When God would have mercy on her and answer her prayers, she noticed that she had a lot of things going on in her thought life, she discovered she had fears and she was able to see it was her past that was stretching forth its hands like a monster and obfuscating the future.
There are four types of relationship baggage we may be carrying at one point or the other. Let’s quickly take a look at one of them
What Type of Baggage Are You Carrying? The Handbag Baggage This isn’t much of a bag, Huh? Well. That’s exactly where the problem is. It’s a handbag, but it can hold some loaded pistols that can unleash havoc in moments. The handbag folk believes they don’t have many problems to deal with simply because their issues can be neatly tucked away.
These type of people carry their issues anywhere they are going like you carry a handbag and can “manifest” anytime! They believe my issues are there but they are manageable!
Such people are really nice and cute until you take a peep into the handbag and then the content therein might not be as cute as the container.
God doesn’t want us to live forever with “small issues” because that is the foundation for the big issues.
Small anger, but can leave tears and wail on its trails. Of recent, a lady set her husband on fire and then killed herself because she suspected her husband was cheating!
These are handbag types of issues. These issues come out under pressure!
Jesus did not call for big problems and issues alone.
It was a general invitation!
Mat 11:28 (KJV) Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.
A handbag can be a heavy load!
Why don’t you respond to the call today? Give Him that bag and let Him bring you into a place of healing and strength! What Type of Baggage Are You Carrying?
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I have rest from all troubles in Jesus’ name
PRAYER FOR THE DAY
Lord, open my eyes to see what I need to work on by your grace
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Mat 11:28 (AMPC) Come to Me, all you who labor and are heavy-laden and overburdened, and I will cause you to rest. [I will ease and relieve and refresh your souls.]
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Empty your handbag at the foot of the cross
There are three things I said yesterday that you can do when he or she is insisting.
1. Make it clear 2. Be accountable 3. Ask questions
This is Part two. We started on this yesterday! If you missed it, read it HERE. What more can you do when He is insisting?
The fourth thing you can do if the insistence will not stop is to discontinue the relationship. The continual insistence and stubborn posture to what is clearly wrong can be a symptom of a deeper issue.
You see, most of the issues you will confront in marriage would all be glaring for you to see as singles! But what do we do most times? We close our eyes to the obvious signs and bury ourselves in the mire of love. As they say, love is a blinder, but marriage is an eye opener.
Pastor, why would I stop something I have invested so much in? How will I cope with a broken heart?
Well, a broken heart is better than a broken life! There is no point in getting married to someone who outright disobeys or disregards God’s word. One of the ways you will know if a man or woman will respect you is if such a person respects God!
Anybody who doesn’t respect God, who is nonchalant at the things of God, will lack the capacity to respect you or value your person.
Especially if he or she is threatening you to break up if you don’t yield to the request! Don’t beg! And don’t yield under pressure because you want to keep the relationship.
Let Him Go When He is Stubborn! Hear this, you cannot keep or preserve anything of worth with the vehicle of compromise and disobedience. It has never worked and will never work!
It is better to walk away from compromise than to preserve it and nurture it.
Let Him Go When He is Stubborn! Don’t be like Esau!
Heb 12:16 (KJV) Lest there be any fornicator, or profane person, as Esau, who for one morsel of meat sold his birthright.
The Message Translation explains better:
Heb 12:16 (MSG) Watch out for the Esau syndrome: trading away God’s lifelong gift in order to satisfy a short-term appetite.
Remember, whatever you cooperate with now is a subtle acceptance of such like eventually in marriage!
I pray God will give you more understanding! Be blessed today!
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I refuse to compromise!
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord, teach me your wisdom in my relationship
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Heb 12:16 (AMPC) That no one may become guilty of sexual vice, or become a profane (godless and sacrilegious) person as Esau did, who sold his own birthright for a single meal. [Gen 25:29-34]
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Read a book on relationships
What Do I Do When He Is Insisting? This happens a lot in relationships, even among believers, where you don’t expect such, You are in a relationship, and he is insisting on consummating the relationship, all pleas falling on deaf ears!
What do you do at such a time?
Interestingly, and on some occasions that I have handled in counseling, it is the lady insisting on it. On one of such, the lady invited the guy over for a discussion. Upon getting there, she asked for sex. The guy refused, but the lady went ahead and stripped naked and then got on him. Of course, it ended where you are thinking!
The reality is that the scripture never asks you to stay in such an atmosphere, rather you were advised to run!
1Co 6:18 (KJV) Flee fornication. Every sin that a man doeth is without the body; but he that committeth fornication sinneth against his own body.
The word “flee” means to “run away as in terror” Like you saw bandits, that is how you the off!
Obviously, you cannot know yourself more than God knows you, and God advises you to run! You are down here, but God who up already sees fire on the mountain!
Back to our topic, What Do I Do When He Is Insisting?
1. Make it clear at the inception of a relationship that you are not there for sex, till after the wedding! It’s good to make it clear before somebody will not allow you to rest!
2. Since both of you are expected to be believers, be accountable and answerable to someone, a mentor or a pastor. That you can easily report yourselves to. That wil make Uncle or Aunty to behave! If you are locked in with an unbeliever, or what else do you expect?
What Do I Do When He Is Insisting?
3. Why is he insisting? What are his reasons? Can he or she prove that such actions will not in any way contradict what God wants from us? Of course, it would be a contradiction!
I will stop here this morning! See you tomorrow for more.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I will not compromise!
PRAYER FOR THE DAY
Lord, help me to stand strong in the face of temptation
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY 1Co 6:18 (AMPC) Shun immorality and all sexual looseness [flee from impurity in thought, word, or deed]. Any other sin which a man commits is one outside the body, but he who commits sexual immorality sins against his own body.
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Refuse to yield to any ongoing pressures
Father, Why Have You Forsaken Me? It is noteworthy to find out that a large number of juvenile prisoners or even men in prisons scattered all over the world either had absentee fathers or had no fathers at all.
We often underestimate the power of a father’s presence in the home! It’s powerful. Growing up without the benefit of a man in the house can be emotionally defective for the child.
Fathers are needed.
When Jesus was on the cross, God looked away from Him at the moment he was carrying the sin of humanity because God wouldn’t behold sin. Jesus felt that separation and cried out; Eli, Eli, lama sabachthani? He couldn’t bear the father forsaking him, even the earth reacted by welcoming darkness all over the earth, yet it was afternoon! All because the Father turned his back on Jesus!
The father looked away! Father, Why Have You Forsaken Me?
As children of God, we make mistakes, we often disappoint God and we outrightly disobey especially with sexual sins. When this happens, we usually think God forsakes us!
But He doesn’t! We are actually the ones that run away from Him as a result of guilt!
We quit reading our Bible, quit going to church, we feel we have disappointed God, we feel less of ourselves and we just run away from anything spiritual. Well, the devil has you right where he wanted, when you do any of that!
When you have messed up, that is the time to run into the father’s embrace and bury yourself in the river of mercy that flows in His bosom.
The devil wants you guilt-ridden, full of regret, caught in the web of your errors, blaming yourself endlessly, and feeling God won’t have you back. This in turn drives one more into the trenches of iniquity! You see, no place is safe when you are away from his presence!
Father, Why Have You Forsaken Me? The father never forsakes us, we are the ones that forsake His presence!
My point this morning? Get back to Him. His loving arms are well spread to embrace you and cleanse you from all errors! Never doubt the father’s love!
Gal 4:6-7 (MSG) You can tell for sure that you are now fully adopted as his own children because God sent the Spirit of his Son into our lives crying out, “Papa! Father!” [7] Doesn’t that privilege of intimate conversation with God make it plain that you are not a slave, but a child? And if you are a child, you’re also an heir, with complete access to the inheritance.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY The Father loves me. I dive into the embrace if the Father
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord, open my eyes to your love
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Gal 4:6 (TPT) And so that we would know for sure that we are his true children, God released the Spirit of Sonship into our hearts—moving us to cry out intimately, “My Father! You’re our true Father!”
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Take a step of action today
Darkness Is Shattered, Walk in The Light! Has anybody ever told you that you are a child of light? Yes, that’s right. Darkness is shattered, it cannot endure over you! The light shines, yes it shines, and no darkness can comprehend, contradict or withstand it!
We are not talking about natural light that comes from the sun. Nay, we talk about the light of God!
Here God created the sun and the moon:
Gen 1:14 (KJV) And God said, Let there be lights in the firmament of the heaven to divide the day from the night; and let them be for signs, and for seasons, and for days, and years:
But in verse 3, He said
Gen 1:3 (KJV) And God said, Let there be light: and there was light.
This light in verse three is what we are talking about. The light shines! Say it loud, “No darkness around me! I have the light of God!”
The light is described to be in the life of God.
Joh 1:4 (KJV) In him was life; and the life was the light of men.
The light is the life of God, The very life in Jesus is what gives the light! I declare light into your life right now, into your relationship, Every darkness bows! Jesus did not casually deal with the problem.
See how what He did was described.
Rom 8:3 (MSG) God went for the jugular when he sent his own Son. He didn’t deal with the problem as something remote and unimportant…
There is light over that relationship now!
There is light over that courtship now
There is light over that marriage now.
Darkness doesn’t fight light, once you switch on that light, darkness disappears. May every darkness around you be shattered in Jesus’ name! Darkness Is Shattered
May the light of God dawn upon your heart in Jesus’ name
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I walk in the light! No darkness around me!
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord, I shatter every darkness around me in Jesus’ name!
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Rom 8:3 (TPT) For God achieved what the law was unable to accomplish, because the law was limited by the weakness of human nature. Yet God sent us his Son in human form to identify with human weakness. Clothed with humanity, God’s Son gave his body to be the sin-offering so that God could once and for all condemn the guilt and power of sin.
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Take a step of action today
Dear Lover, When Will You Decide? Decisions are powerful. So much powerful that everything depends on it. Imagine the number of decisions you have made today! Its amazing! As a matter of fact, you are reading this devotional because you decided to do so!
Can you quickly share the devotional to Facebook or WhatsApp groups? Use share buttons below or above the devotional.
Some of you will obey, and some of you will just simply continue reading. That’s a decision you took right there!
But seriously, go ahead and share….decide to decide!
After sharing, that’s all it takes to decide. You just do what needs to be done. You refuse to procrastinate! You learn obedience to the point your obedience is complete so that every disobedience can be avenged!
Dear Lover, When Will You Decide? Why am I writing about decisions today?
You all remember Jacob and Esau. How Jacob deceived his brother and stole the blessing. As a result of that Jacob hated him and wanted to kill him.
Esau’s father could not really bless him but he made a significant statement to Esau which is the crux of our teaching this morning. Let’s take a look at it.
Gen 27:40 (KJV) And by thy sword shalt thou live, and shalt serve thy brother; and it shall come to pass when thou shalt have the dominion, that thou shalt break his yoke from off thy neck.
Now let’s take a look at another translation.
Gen 27:40 (CEV) You will live by the power of your sword and be your brother’s slave. But WHEN YOU DECIDE to be free, you will break loose.”
Wow! Esau, despite that your blessing is stolen, despite that you will serve your brother and be his slave, the day YOU DECIDE to be free is when you will be free!
That took the responsibility off God completely!
O God, I want to marry, Do it. Let me be found. Let me find.
God answers: The day you decide to marry is when you will marry!
When you have dominion, when you come to yourself, when you take responsibilities and stop offering excuses, when you stop yielding to your flesh and you learn to put your body under, when you come into sonship and put away childish things, when you DECIDE for God, then you will get done what you want to do! Selah! Dear Lover, When Will You Decide?
Good morning!
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I will decide for God. I will no longer procrastinate
PRAYER FOR THE DAY
Lord, help me to make that decision!
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Gen 27:40 (MSG) You’ll live by your sword, hand-to-mouth, and you’ll serve your brother. But when you can’t take it any more you’ll break loose and run free.
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Take a step of action today
Here’s A Major Secret To be Found. Susan has had a very rough storyline regarding being found by that remarkable man. A lot of guys have taken her on a ride, some just wanted a sexual thing, while some were having a fling. Susan was almost at that place where she thinks something must be wrong with her. She doesn’t understand why it has been difficult to get married.
I want to share with you this morning about a secret to being found. Certainly, there are many ways, but I want to dovetail on just one specific area.
Let’s take a look at the scriptures. Pro 18:22 (KJV) Whoso findeth a wife findeth a good thing, and obtaineth favour of the LORD.
Notice this scripture.
It says whoever finds a wife…
Not whoever finds a sister!
Not whenever finds a babe.
The great question is how do you become a wife before getting married?
It’s not on going around to cook for a guy. It’s not in offering your body for sex in the quest to “insure” the guy for a wedding. It is not in spending your hard-earned money on a guy who will later ditch you for another. Here’s A Major Secret To be Found
It’s in preparation! That is how to become a “wife” before becoming a wife!
Marriage is such a great work that you will do yourself good and do your future husband good by first becoming a wife in your attitudes, responsibilities, and general outlook on life.
A wife is a helper.
A wife is a homemaker.
There are many more, but as a single lady, you must develop yourself intellectually and otherwise in readiness to be found.
You must read wide, sit down with mentors, and learn all you can learn!
Men are looking for a “wife”
And trust me, real guys ( I am not taking if those just looking for flings or sex ) know how to spot a wife!
I will stop here this morning. I pray that God gives you more understanding! Here’s A Major Secret To be Found
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I am not in a hurry. I receive wisdom in my relationship.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord, give me wisdom that is specific to me
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Pro 18:22 (MSG) Find a good spouse, you find a good life— and even more: the favor of GOD!
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Decide to read a book a week
How To Handle Rejection From Lovers’ Parents. Ade and Bridget were so much into each other that all their friends saw them as the definition of a perfect love story.
It’s been over six years of love affair because they met prior to admission into higher institutions. Theirs was like a love story woven be heaven itself.
They looked forward to their wedding with glee and passion. There was nothing they have not discussed from number of children, to career compatibility and even the location where they will be domiciled.
For the very first time, they decided to open up to their parents who had been kept in limbo all the while. They didn’t expect any resistance from that end, they sure have taken care of that in prayers.
However, to their consternation and amazement, the guy’s parents refused to bless the union. These heavily stalled all their plans and threw Bridget into emotional frenzy!
What would people say? How would they explain to all who looked up to them and saw their relationship as a model?
She was devastated. They prayed, but the more they prayed, the more obstinate the parents were!
Ade was helpless. Every of their attempt to convince the parents came to null and void.
At this point, what should they do?
Ade and Bridget should be prepared to move on! What? Yes, it is not going to be easy. It is going to heartbreaking, but on no occasion should Bridget force her way into a family that forthrightly rejected her.
If she did, frustration and agony awaited her. What should be her response on How To Handle Rejection From Lovers’ Parents?
You see, in God, rejection can become direction! She should go into her closet and seek God’s face why this happened. She should resort to worship and judge God faithful!
Heb 11:11 (KJV) Through faith also Sara herself received strength to conceive seed, and was delivered of a child when she was past age, BECAUSE SHE JUDGED HIM FAITHFUL WHO HAD PROMISED.
If you are in Bridget’s shoes, you MUST worship and rejoice… then you will truly rejoice at the end.
Be assured that no parents can stop God’s plan. So when they insist, and looked like they won, God must have permitted it for a purpose, if they are unyielding after several prayers.
Let it go and see the beautiful story God will weave out even as you worship and rejoice.
Remember this, if you stay in hurt and bitterness, you can lose out. So stay in joy! This is How To Handle Rejection From Lovers’ Parents
Good morning!
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I will not be a loser. I embrace God’s wisdom.
PRAYERS FOR THE DAY O Lord, grant me grace to overcome hurts and wounds in the soul
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Heb 11:11 (KJV) Through faith also Sara herself received strength to conceive seed, and was delivered of a child when she was past age, because she judged him faithful who had promised.
There is something powerful in stillness. There are losses and failure embedded in anxiety and unnecessary worrying!
The very concept of faith itself, is contradicted in your efforts to do things in your own wisdom and at the detriment of His instructions and direction!
Yes, you are lover boy, and you are experienced, but can you be still before you are humbled?
Oh yeah, you are a babe who have read all major relationship books, but can you be still to hear Him!
When you are too noisy and unsettled in your communion with Him, you miss His voice! Oh Lord, that I should not miss your voice for once!
Can I tell you something striking this morning? Can it be possible that you are crying for God’s intervention in your relationship and yet the very attitude that block that is being courted?
Oh, I have had a lot of broken relationships
Oh, I can’t seem to know who to get married to
Oh, I don’t know who to choose out of so many
Well, you sure needs God’s direction!
However, seeing God in your relationship, seeing His intervention in your love life, is predicated on STILLNESS! Finding The Love of Your Life In Stillness is the next big thing!
Let’s validate that in the scripture.
Psa 46:10 (KJV) Be still, and know that I am God: I will be exalted among the heathen, I will be exalted in the earth.
The scripture is so clear and explicit here. Be still and you will know He is God! God is interested in Finding The Love of Your Life In Stillness
Let’s take a look at another translation. Psa 46:10 (MSG) “Step out of the traffic! Take a long, loving look at me, your High God, above politics, above everything.”
Wow! Get out of that traffic of anxiety and worry!
God is above all the politics of relationships and marriage!
You get it now! Light dawns on you now! You’re been taking things into your hands all in the name of planning and strategizing!
All has failed you till now. The milk of disappointment has been gobbled down severally! Now is the time of realization, that your miracle is in your stillness.
This stillness simply and aptly put, is your trust in God that He’s got your back, that He won’t abandon you and that He will not disappoint you!
Good morning! Share the blogpost! Blessings!
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I ham still. I am not anxious.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord, teach me to be still and to trust you
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Psa 46:10 (AMPC) Let be and be still, and know (recognize and understand) that I am God. I will be exalted among the nations! I will be exalted in the earth!
