Have you ever seen a Nollywood movie where the couple are close or seen a couple where the wife is so loving?
I am sure you also must have seen couples who just seem to be close but there is something that just doesn’t add up, they are in one way or another disconnected.
When there is a disconnect and you are sensitive, you just know it, you just pick it up and are able to discern it.
Either the wife is cheating or the husband is cheating or they are just not agreed. Well apart from both couples praying together, there are some practical things the wife can do to be a good wife. The kind of wife any husband will be proud to call his wife.
1. Be loyal to your husband 2. Make your husband and his affair matter to you 3. Seek to do whatever he likes and things that pleases him. 4. Be thoughtful of and about your husband. 5. Cook his meals, serve them yourselves and make it a special something 6. Be fun to be with every time 7. Be a defender of your spouse anytime and always 8. Be his cheerleader and make him feel good about himself always 9. Enjoy the company of your husband every time 10. Absolutely let your husband trust you 11. Be gist partners 12. Be his confidant and his companion 13. Be his prayer partner and a prayer warrior for him 14. Be his mum, wife, side chick and flirt with him 15. Be his collaborator, his manager and his covenant partner
You may not be these naturally but you can engage in the place of prayer. Be the specific things you want to see yourself become.
Be focused and decisive about what is it you want to see your self become. Let it be as your goal. Let it be SMART. Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Realistic and Time bound.
The Lord will help us in Jesus name.
God bless your marriage.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY My marriage is a blessing
PRAYERS FOR THE DAY Oh Lord, do a miracle in my marriage today.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Marriage is honourable in all, and the bed undefiled: but whoremongers and adulterers God will judge. – Heb 13:4 (KJV)
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Put the above points to use.
Life is about challenges. Without these challenges, there will not be opportunities for thrust and lift. That you are a child of God will not exempt you from having your own share. But what I love so much is what Jesus really said that we have already overcome. I love that!
I know you are facing one thing or the other. I don’t have a child yet. I have children, but they are wayward. My husband is not responsible. My wife is not cooperative. My husband is too hard and never listens. My wife is not submissive. My in-laws are my enemies. My husband listens more to his mum. My mum is not welcome in our house. And the list goes on and on. Issues are in the billions, as numerous as humans on earth.
I want to talk to you this morning about one the most powerful weapon God has given you to overcome situations.
What the Bible says in each situation we find ourselves is a very great weapon in our hands to overcome such situations.
Most people don’t know anything about the Bible or about the potency of God’s word. The result is that a lot of people live in defeat despite the victory that has been wrought for them by Jesus Christ.
The truth is that words are powerful. Now when those words are spoken by God, it makes all the difference! The reason God’s words are powerful is because words are as powerful as the person who speaks the word. We all know God is all powerful!
When you find yourself in a marriage or life issue, the first thing you should do is to go into the scriptures and find out what God said about the situation.
You can confront that marriage issues and problems with the power of the spoken word. What you say matters a lot.
As believers, you have access into the promises of God. Take these promises and meditate on them until they are rooted in your heart. It then flows out naturally from your mouth.
Once the words are in your heart, start speaking what God said and not what the situation is.
Somebody says ‘would I not be telling a lie? No, God’s word is the truth! The situation is a fact, but truth is higher than a fact, so you use your mouth to superimpose the truth on the fact, and because God cannot lie, He deploys every available resources including angelic interventions to make sure what you said come to pass. No problem or challenge can withstand God’s word. Try Him today!
Take authority over that issue. Your mouth is your might. Keep saying what you want to see and not what you are seeing.
Stay stubbornly on God’s word until you see the travail of your heart. Do not cave in or give up, hold on to the horns of the altar.
I see God turning that situation around for you. Lift up your hand and thank Him for that!
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I love God’s word.
PRAYERS FOR THE DAY Lord, open the eyes of my understanding in Jesus name.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Heb 4:12 MSG God means what he says. What he says goes. His powerful Word is sharp as a surgeon’s scalpel, cutting through everything, whether doubt or defense, laying us open to listen and obey.
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Take a promise of God’s word and meditate on it.
5. He does not want you to provoke your children unnecessarily.
God does not want you to take out what you feel or how you feel on the children. Don’t transfer your aggression to them or else they will grow up doing exactly the same things to their siblings and then their spouses. What you do to children and around them goes a long way to influence their thought patterns and outlook on life.
Fathers, do not provoke or irritate or fret your children [do not be hard on them or harass them], lest they become discouraged and sullen and morose and feel inferior and frustrated. [Do not break their spirit.] (Col 3:21 AMP)
Parents, don’t come down too hard on your children or you’ll crush their spirits. (Col 3:21 MSG)
6. He does not want you to deny your husband sexual pleasure.
Never do this for any reason! It is unwise under any circumstance unless, of course, you are certain that your husband would transmit STDs as a result of his lifestyle. Many wives have unwittingly pushed their husbands into the waiting hands of adulterous women by starving their husbands with Jeru trip. It is not a wise thing to do. Jeru trip means to your husband much more than it means to you!
Let me drive home the point with this illustration. A couple held themselves in a good embrace at night and in a split second the husband is ready for Jeru trip and was warming up for that. To his consternation, the wife said “No. “I just wanted you to hold me, that’s all, no Jeru trip!” The husband, all worked up went to bed with a serious headache.
A few days after that, they went on a shopping spree. The wife saw some jewelry, clothes, and designer shoes and the husband asked her to pick them all. Then she saw skirt suits and trouser suits. The husband still said she could pick them. She was enraptured. As they moved over to the counter to pay, the husband said, No! I just wanted you to hold them. Hold them tight, that’s all!
7. He does not want you to nag or disrespect your husband.
Nagging is dangerous to marriage! Every man detests it. It will never work, so don’t resort to it.
8. He does not want you to discuss your husband with others.
Never make that mistake. That male colleague that seems to have a listening ear is really looking for ways to take you to bed at the end of the day. With a few exceptions, though.
That other guy with whom both of you exchange marital challenges and how your spouses have not been good is not a good relationship to keep. There would soon be an emotional affair and then it will be taken to a physical level if care is not taken.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY God is my strength. He will guide me in the right path.
PRAYERS FOR THE DAY Lord, I ask that you open my eyes of understanding in Jesus name
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Eph 5:33 KJV Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife see that she reverence her husband.
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Take an inventory of your life in the light of God’s principles
2. He does not want you to place your work/career before your family.
You should never make that mistake. Your family comes first and the wife is really the homemaker. If you do not put priority on your home, you make your husband vulnerable and make the children grow in a defective way.
While it is good to pursue your career, your family must come first. Too many women have pursued their career at the expense of losing their husbands and children. The key here is balance.
3. He does not want you to live a life of depression and unhappiness.
God wants you to be a happy wife! He wants you to create an atmosphere of joy in the home and not that of gloominess and despondency. A woman can literally change the mood in the house! That is how powerful women are.
Take it easy. Be humorous. Learn to relax and don’t be too closed up in your own worldview.
A cheerful heart brings a smile to your face; a sad heart makes it hard to get through the day. (Pro 15:13 MSG)
4. He does not want you to get involved with adulterous relationships.
Don’t try to revenge on your husband’s attitude by developing affairs with colleagues and friends. It may make your flesh feel good in revenge, but in the real sense of it, it will bring untold anguish and heartache. Your life will slip down to that of deception, lies, and other false intrigues.
The conscience can become seared until one sees nothing wrong in having adulterous flings just to feel good and ‘enjoy life”. Don’t cheat on your husband, the consequences are debilitating and crushing. Adultery is a stolen pleasure and the spiritual implications are not good for anybody.
Stolen bread tastes sweet, but soon your mouth is full of gravel. (Pro 20:17 MSG)
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY God is my strength. He will guide me in the right path.
PRAYERS FOR THE DAY Lord, I ask that you open my eyes of understanding in Jesus name
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Eph 5:33 KJV Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife see that she reverence her husband.
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Take an inventory of your life in the light of God’s principles
1. He Does Not Want You To Be Disobedient or Rebellious To Your Husband.
God wants you as a wife to be obedient and submissive to your husband. Let’s look at the scriptures;
IN LIKE manner, you married women, be submissive to your own husbands [subordinate yourselves as being secondary to and dependent on them, and adapt yourselves to them], so that even if any do not obey the Word [of God], they may be won over not by discussion but by the [godly] lives of their wives, When they observe the pure and modest way in which you conduct yourselves, together with your reverence [for your husband; you are to feel for him all that reverence includes: to respect, defer to, revere him–to honor, esteem, appreciate, prize, and, in the human sense, to adore him, that is, to admire, praise, be devoted to, deeply love, and enjoy your husband]. -1Peter 3:1-2 (AMP)
Now wives, there is no way you follow the above scripture and you will not have victory in your marriage.
Why? Because it is the word of God and His word never fails. Take a look at it again!
You are to feel for him all that reverence includes: to respect, defer to, revere him–to honor, esteem, appreciate, prize, and, in the human sense, to adore him, that is, to admire, praise, be devoted to, deeply love, and enjoy your husband].
That is how to make your husband love you like no man’s business!
Before you give up in that marriage, before you start complaining, make sure you obey what God instructs you to do here.
Notice that includes uncooperative husbands, the scripture says you can win them over by your attitude! That is how powerful a woman is.
To be continued…
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY God is my strength. He will guide me in the right path.
PRAYERS FOR THE DAY Lord, I ask that you open my eyes of understanding in Jesus name
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife see that she reverence her husband. – Ephesians 5:33 (KJV)
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Take an inventory of your life in the light of God’s principles
4. He does not want you to place your career/work above your relationship with him.
God comes first. That is the order and that is how to make a success of your career.
God wants you to follow the principles as outlined in His word because true prosperity comes from following Him. Your business acumen is nothing compared to His wisdom.
Look at what the bible says in Matthew 6:33;
Steep your life in God-reality, God-initiative, God-provisions. Don’t worry about missing out. You’ll find all your everyday human concerns will be met. –Matthew 6:33 (MSG)
5. He does not want you to place your career/work above your wife and children.
After God comes your family before your career. Make sure you devote time and attention to your family. Money will not fill that gap. Your wife and family need your manly direction and presence.
6. He does not want you to abuse your wife or take advantage of her femininity.
He does not want you to physically or verbally abuse your wife and children. A good man will never hit his wife. If you have started doing that, you can stop and make a resolve in your heart, that no matter what, I will never hit my wife! That is how to be blessed of God.
Do you know that spiritually, when you hit your wife, you are hitting yourself? That is not a good place to be. And of course, there are some wives that beat up their husbands. That is even worse.
7. He does not want you spending more time with friends and colleagues than you spend with your family.
He does not want you keeping late nights unnecessarily. When you do that, emotional affairs can develop quickly and that is where adultery starts from.
8. He does not want you keeping secrets about you or your weaknesses from your wife.
Be open to your wife. Like my Pastor would often say, if somebody is winking at you, tell your spouse first. You know what? Immorality is perpetuated in secrecy. The power of iniquity is broken when exposed.
The moment you share it with your spouse, the problem is half solved. If you like the way a certain person dresses, tell your wife to dress same way. Be open, communicate well and that will help your marriage a lot. Remember this golden truth, the moment you can hide it from her, it is the beginning of trouble!
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY God is my strength. He will guide me in the right path.
PRAYERS FOR THE DAY Lord, I ask that you open my eyes of understanding in Jesus name
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife see that she reverence her husband. – Ephesians 5:33 KJV
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Take an inventory of your life in the light of God’s principles
Yesterday we looked at “What God Wants From Every Man.” Today, by the Spirit of God, we will be considering “What God Does Not Want From Every Man.”
1. He does not want you to be harsh and inconsiderate with your family.
God wants you to be like Him. That is why the scripture says the husband should be to the wife as Jesus Christ is to the church. What Jesus did for the church is an indication of what God wants every husband to do for his wife. What did Jesus do? He laid down his life. He sacrificed for the church. God wants you to sacrifice for your wife.
Here is an instruction for all husbands:
In the same way, you married men should live considerately with [your wives], with an intelligent recognition [of the marriage relation], honoring the woman as [physically] the weaker, but [realizing that you] are joint heirs of the grace (God’s unmerited favor) of life, in order that your prayers may not be hindered and cut off. [Otherwise, you cannot pray effectively.] Finally, all [of you] should be of one and the same mind (united in spirit), sympathizing [with one another], loving [each other] as brethren [of one household], compassionate and courteous (tenderhearted and humble). Never return evil for evil or insult for insult (scolding, tongue-lashing, berating), but on the contrary blessing [praying for their welfare, happiness, and protection, and truly pitying and loving them]. For know that to this you have been called, that you may yourselves inherit a blessing [from God–that you may obtain a blessing as heirs, bringing welfare and happiness and protection]. -1Peter 3:7-9 (AMP)
Now let’s take a look at the Message translation:
The same goes for you husbands: Be good husbands to your wives. Honor them, delight in them. As women, they lack some of your advantages. But in the new life of God’s grace, you’re equals. Treat your wives, then, as equals so your prayers don’t run aground. Summing up: Be agreeable, be sympathetic, be loving, be compassionate, be humble. That goes for all of you, no exceptions. No retaliation. No sharp-tongued sarcasm. Instead, bless–that’s your job, to bless. You’ll be a blessing and also get a blessing. -1Peter 3:7-9 (MSG)
The part I love most, Bless your wife! That is your job, to bless! You are the priest over your home, dear husband, so keep blessing. And of course, you don’t want to be praying with no answers!
But my wife is difficult! Yes, just like the church is difficult, and yet Jesus keeps blessing the church and sanctifying it and will present to himself a glorious church at the end.
Keep blessing your wife; you will enjoy the best of her. Keep saying what you want in her and not what you are seeing now!
2. He does not want you to get involved with extra-marital or adulterous relationships.
God does not want you getting involved in adultery. Why? It can ruin your family. It can make you lose your relationship with God. In fact, the Bible sees it as a stupid decision.
But whoso committeth adultery with a woman lacketh understanding: he that doeth it destroyeth his own soul. A wound and dishonour shall he get, and his reproach shall not be wiped away. –Proverbs 6:32-33 (KJV)
Here is Message Translation;
Adultery is a brainless act, soul-destroying, self-destructive; Expect a bloody nose, a black eye, and a reputation ruined for good. –Proverbs 6:32-33 (MSG)
If you are already involved, God does not condemn you. He still loves you. It is left for you not to condemn yourself and let God’s love set you free from the bondage of adultery. You may call me so I can guide you on how to fully disconnect and be faithful to your wife.
3. He does not want you to disregard his Word, principles, and any other scriptural injunctions.
My son, pay attention to what I say; listen closely to my words. Do not let them out of your sight, keep them within your heart; for they are life to those who find them and health to a man’s whole body. -Proverbs 4:20-22 (NIV)
God wants you to follow the principles as outlined in His word because true prosperity comes from following Him. Your business acumen is nothing compared to His wisdom.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY
God is my strength. He will guide me on the right path.
PRAYERS FOR THE DAY
Lord, I ask that you open my eyes of understanding in Jesus name
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY
Husbands, in the same way, be considerate as you live with your wives and treat them with respect as the weaker partner and as heirs with you of the gracious gift of life so that nothing will hinder your prayers. -1 Peter 3:7 (NIV)
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY
Take an inventory of your life in the light of God’s principles
3. He wants you to spend quality time in His presence.
God wants you to draw strength regularly from his presence and be anointed with fresh oil daily to face the challenges of the business and career world. Money is spiritual, and you need God as your spiritual source to be truly wealthy.
As you advance in marriage, you are going to get busier! Learn to give God your time now and stop saying things like, “When I do so and so, I will have more time for God.’ You will never have time as much as you have now.
4. He wants you to invest and spend quality time with your wife and family.
He wants you to be available for your family, play with them, laugh with them and be an example to your children. Don’t be too far away from your children. Children raised without existing fathers almost always turn out defective as much as those with existing but unavailable fathers.
5. He wants you to be a provider for your family.
God wants you blessed! All He wants from you is to follow his principles and learn to obey the laws of seed, time, and harvest. Prosperity does not answer to prayers alone but also to the principle of sowing and reaping!
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY God is my strength. He will guide me in the right path.
PRAYERS FOR THE DAY Lord, I ask that you open my eyes of understanding in Jesus name
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Eph 5:33 KJV Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself, and the wife see that she reverence her husband.
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Take an inventory of your life in the light of God’s principles
1. God wants you to adore your wife and enjoy each other.
He wants you to love her wholeheartedly, protect her and be a shoulder she can lean on. He wants you to be gentle with her and exercise patience with her. God wants you to be all over your wife because you are one! God wants you to be satisfied with your wife physically and sexually!
In Proverbs, Chapter 5, God advises every husband to seek sexual fulfillment from their wives rather than look elsewhere.
Let her be as the loving hind and pleasant roe; let her breasts satisfy thee at all times; and be thou ravished always with her love. And why wilt thou, my son, be ravished with a strange woman, and embrace the bosom of a stranger? – Pro 5:19-20 KJV
The amplified version explains it better:
Let her be as the loving hind and pleasant doe [tender, gentle, attractive]–let her bosom satisfy you at all times, and always be transported with delight in her love. Why should you, my son, be infatuated with a loose woman, embrace the bosom of an outsider, and go astray? – Pro 5:19-20 AMP
I also love this advice for every man in previous verses:
Drink waters out of your own cistern [of a pure marriage relationship], and fresh running waters out of your own well. Should your offspring be dispersed abroad as water brooks in the streets? [Confine yourself to your own wife] let your children be for you alone, and not the children of strangers with you. – Pro 5:15-17 AMP
2. God wants you to follow the order
You are to put Him first place in your life, your family second, and thirdly your work/career.
That is supposed to be the rightful order. Don’t allow your work to ruin your marriage by neglecting your wife. If you know you have to be away, then, invest in the little time you are together by creating beautiful memories and deliberately depositing them in her emotional bank so she can have something to withdraw when you are not around!
To be continued…
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY God is my strength. He will guide me in the right path.
PRAYERS FOR THE DAY Lord, I ask that you open my eyes of understanding in Jesus name
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Eph 5:33 KJV Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife see that she reverence her husband.
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Take an inventory of your life in the light of God’s principles
Yesterday we learned about baggages in marriage, that we all have and come into our marriage with different kinds of baggage.
We also learned that these baggages are unresolved issues from our past, our background, and from our childhood experiences. These baggages or bags or luggages have to be emptied and the content exposed and dealt with.
We established that in marriage no secrets are allowed. Everything must be open and talked about.
And they were both naked, the man and his wife, and were not ashamed. – Gen 2:25 (KJV)
Today, we will be looking at the various types of baggage we carry into marriage. Most of these we don’t even know we carry. Rest comes to our wearied souls as promised by Jesus only when we learn to come unto him in total surrender and then confess our faults one to another.
Types of Baggage
Relationship Baggage
This type of baggage is from our childhood relationships. Where we felt rejected, unloved, neglected, or criticized. Where we have a sense of shame or a low self-esteemed of ourselves. For whatever reasons we feel not up to the standard of other people.
Spiritual Baggage
Here we have learned to combine spirituality with lies and other vices. We grow up in church yet do a lot of bad stuff, like steal offerings, watch pornography in the church toilet or during sermons, sleep with a unit member, and still hide under being spiritual.
Moral Baggage
When you have this type of baggage, your sense of judgment is warped. You cannot decertify between good and bad. You even call good bad. You don’t know what is morally right. You smoke weed, you get involved with lesbianism, watch pornography, gamble, and the like.
Emotional Baggage
You were in several relationships that never worked or were involved with different ladies/ men and had emotional affairs with them. Maybe you were involved sexually with them in other to keep the relationship.
Physical Baggage
Here you kept your distance from people; this is similar to relational baggage. You enjoy solitude. You don’t want or like to associate with people. You suspect everybody and feel everyone is bad.
Sexual Baggage
With this, you are involved with all manner of sexual escapades. Sex toys, threesome, abortion, sex with strange men and women, prostitution, one-night stand, sex for material gains, etc.
Now that we have an idea of the type of baggages we may be carrying, these are the steps involved in dealing with them.
1. Unpack Your Bag: Stop hiding your bags, bring them to the open and be willing and ready to unpack.
2. Unload: Seek help from counselors, don’t try to handle things alone. You also need someone to be accountable to.
3. Be Patient: Don’t be too much in a hurry, be patient and follow due process.
4. Lighten Your Load by Forgiven: Forgive all those you have to forgive including yourself.
5. Take Classes Together: You need information, so you and your spouse needs all the education you can get.
6. Let Go Of Past Hurts: It’s important you let go and keep them in your past, so that you can experience new life.
God bless your marriage!
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY Rest comes to my soul
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Oh Lord, help me to be open about my baggages
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY And they were both naked, the man and his wife, and were not ashamed. – Genesis 2:25 (KJV)
Everybody has got baggages and each of us came into marriage with our individual baggages. If not dealt with properly in marriage, it has the capacity to hinder the progress of any marriage no matter how much the couples love themselves.
How do you know what’s in your bag? Check your beliefs, your childhood experiences, did you have an absentee father? Have you ever been sexually abused? Did you grow up in an environment where you did not “feel loved”?
Baggages are negative, unprocessed emotions from past experiences. All types of baggage, if not taken care of, can negatively impact your current experiences — your relationships, your friendships, your family relations, your career, etc.
Is Your Bag Heavy?
Does it feel like you’re carrying the weight of the world on your shoulders? People go through different experiences in life and that makes some people’s baggages just like a little child’s school bag, while for others because of their experiences their baggages can be compared to the biggest “ghana-must-go” bag out there. Imagine walking with such a heavy load, your movement and progress will definitely be impeded.
Come to Me, all you who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Matthew 11:28, KJV
Emptying and Refilling
Casting all your care upon him; for he careth for you. 1 Peter 5:7, KJV
It’s not God’s desire for you that you have guilt, fear, regrets, shame in your bag, those things weigh you down, they will wear you out and get you tired. It won’t affect you alone, it will also affect your spouse and cause you to hurt him/her unintentionally this is why it’s most important to deal with them.
You can’t deal with baggage by locking the bag and burying it somewhere in the deepest depths of your heart, it never works that way, you’d have to slowly open them and with God’s help deal with them.
Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion? Come to me. Get away with me and you’ll recover your life. I’ll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with me and work with me—watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won’t lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you. Keep company with me and you’ll learn to live freely and lightly Matthew 11:28-30, KJV
The solution, after you’ve identified those baggage is to cast “ALL YOUR CARES” on him. Let go and let God, forgive ALL who have hurt you in the past.
Unforgiveness will lead to resentment, bitterness, negativity which will affect our relationships, emotions and physical health. Once you’ve forgiven, you’ll begin to feel lighter, literally.
All the issues about bags and luggages is to get your past opened up. Every couple should have a day of opening their boxes. Like we all opened up our wedding presents when we first got married and we were presented with different gifts.
This is extremely important. Tell yourselves everything about yourselves. Yes, everything. The good, bad and the ugly. It is better done now before you start discovering one by one later. Help you spouse open up. Listen empathetically, give uninterrupted attention and h/she will feel secured opening up. Put off all phones and gadgets and let it be a me and you time.
We will continue tomorrow by Gods Grace.
God bless your marriage
CONFESSION OF THE DAY I choose to cast my care on God.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord I receive grace to trust you more
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Casting all your care upon him; for he careth for you. 1 Peter 5:7, KJV
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Be patient to understand your spouse
4. By being honorable yourself and being faithful to the commandments of your husband.
This is simply obeying his biddings. There are some instructions your husband will give you directly or indirectly. There will be things he does like, maybe based on his temperament or based on his background. If he doesn’t like something then obey and respect his wishes. Don’t talk down or look down on him because of what he loves or does not love.
You show honor to your husband by keeping his words in your heart so that you can obey them. There is nothing more dishonoring than your husband telling you he doesn’t like something repeatedly and you disobeying him.
5. You honor your husband by honoring people he honors.
You show honor to your husband by honoring relationship he holds dear. Even if you don’t feel like respecting them, you do out of your honor to your husband.
An example is respecting his parents, his mentors, his boss, his colleagues and any other person he holds dear.
6. You also show honor to your husband by giving to him
There is no honor without giving. You should give of your substance to the one you honor, especially the man that is ordained by God to be your head. You must see him as he is.
He is your lord, your glory. So you celebrate him with your seed. His birthday is a good time to shower him with some good things. Father’s Day is another good time.
May God grant you understanding. God bless you marriage
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY My marriage is a blessing
PRAYERS FOR THE DAY Oh Lord, do a miracle in my marriage today.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Marriage is honourable in all, and the bed undefiled: but whoremongers and adulterers God will judge. – Heb 13:4 (KJV)
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Put the above points to use.
We started this conversation yesterday and looked at how we can give honor to our husband and this can be our gate way to blessing. God has blessings in store for women who understands how to honor their husbands.
Today, I will show us few ways we can express honor to our husbands
1. Do more than is expected or normal for him
We have to do more than is expected. There are normal things that are expected of you as a wife, do more. Care more, love more, be faithful to a fault, be sincere to a fault, respect more than normal or expected.
Don’t just stay with the status quo, don’t just do a little, exert yourself, spend and be spent, give your self wholly.
So love your husband till he says you love too much. Until he says you have done too much, you have not done enough.
2. Take charge to meet their material need
You show your honor and respect for your husband by making yourself responsible to making sure their material needs are meant.
I am sure you will be thinking, are you not supposed to be the one to be taking care of? Your husband will take care of you but you will also look out for his needs. You don’t take him for granted. Let his need be your priority.
3. By acknowledging and recognizing the gifting that is on his inside.
Only you should be able to appreciate and celebrate the gifting of your husband. Even when others do not see any thing good in him, you should celebrate him like a billion dollar. Nobody must celebrate your husband more than you do.
Don’t let any secretary, colleague or mate celebrate your husband more than you do.
Be his number one cheerleader. Be his big fan. Be crazy about him. Laugh at his every joke, be filled with his love evermore.
To be continued…
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY My marriage is a blessing
PRAYERS FOR THE DAY Oh Lord, do a miracle in my marriage today.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Marriage is honourable in all, and the bed undefiled: but whoremongers and adulterers God will judge. – Heb 13:4 (KJV)
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Put the above points to use.
Marriage is an honorable institution created by God. People everywhere are supposed to honor their spouse and marriage in the way the deal with the married folks.
Married folks are to honor their own marriage and the marriage of others. That is one of the main reasons God frowns at the sin of adultery.
The wrath of God is actually upon the adulterer and adulteress. If you are involved in this act, please repent, turn around from your sins and the Lord will forgive and cleanse you, in Jesus name.
Let marriage be held in honor (esteemed worthy, precious, of great price, and especially dear) in all things. And thus let the marriage bed be undefiled (kept undishonored); for God will judge and punish the unchaste [all guilty of sexual vice] and adulterous. – Heb 13:4 Amp
We need to Honor each other in marriage. The husband must see to it that he honors his spouse – the wife and the wife should see to it that she greatly honors her husband
Be kindly affectioned one to another with brotherly love; in honour preferring one another; – Rom 12:10
I want to particularly write to us wives about the missing link of honoring our husbands. This act is gradually missing in this age and we need to go back to scriptures and learn to give honor to our husbands.
In these days of female liberation movement where equality among male and female gender is preached. Our mothers of old knew the secret of Honoring their husbands. They do it in words, thoughts and their actions.
The way we show gratitude to our husbands shows that we honor them. And this honor comes from realizing that your spouse is your head and your crown. That God has placed him in a position of grace and honor.
I need to emphasize this that as a wife, honor is the gateway to your blessing in Marriage. There is much benefits and blessings from God to us if we just learn to honor our own husband the way they are.
Most of us wants to honor them when they are perfect but no, we give honor to them whilst still unperfected. This is our faith work and God in turn honors us back.
I will stop here and continue tomorrow with the six ways we can honor our husbands.
God bless your marriage.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY My marriage is a blessing
PRAYERS FOR THE DAY Oh Lord, do a miracle in my marriage today.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Marriage is honourable in all, and the bed undefiled: but whoremongers and adulterers God will judge. – Heb 13:4 (KJV)
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Put the above points to use.
The Three Most Important Rooms In Your Marriage. A few years back, President Buhari was asked about his wife’s interview in which she made some statements that showed her displeasure with her husband’s decisions.
In his reply, President Buhari said he doesn’t know which party his wife belongs to, but he knows she belongs to his kitchen, his living room, and the other room.
The president was taken up on this and many expanded, amplified, and even dragged the statement beyond its original intention.
Let’s take a look at these rooms one after the other.
The Kitchen
In the physical realm, it is so much a vital part of the house. You couldn’t do without it.
Yes, the woman is always there, but a good man will often be found there as well.
In the kitchen, food is prepared.
In the spiritual milieu, the kitchen is where revelation is cooked. It is a place you don’t joke with and both husband and wife have better belong there.
Without constant “cooking” in this place, the inner man will be famished and results will be defective.
The Living Room
Here is a public place for the family. Everybody comes together in the living room. When Daddy wants to talk to everybody, it will probably be in the living room.
Everybody must have a place where you meet with divinity. Everybody must have a place where you meet with God. Everybody must have a living room where you talk to God.
The Other Room
This room is only for Daddy and Mummy. The other room is for those who are married.
Singles should never have the other room, and should never visit the other room. As singles, if you go to the other room, “other” things can take place that you will not be proud of.
Yes, the woman belongs to the other room. The wife can even delegate the kitchen to some domestic help, she can have the luxury of time off from the living room, but her role in the other room cannot be delegated.
Her functions in the other room are so pivotal to her husband’s productivity in the board room.
The temperature in the other room should be kept hot. The other room should be alive.
As a wise wife, you should make sure that your husband never has the luxury of having another “other room” outside the matrimonial home.
When a man is dissatisfied in the other room, disorder and chaos await him.
Christian wives, don’t be over-spiritual!
The gas cooker belongs to the kitchen.
Chairs and seats belong to the living room.
But what is needed in the other room is the bed!
Marriage is honorable in all and the bed undefiled!
On your wedding date, you were licensed to enter the other room. Focus on each other and enjoy yourselves sexually!
God will more likely answer the prayers of a sexually satisfied couple than that of couples denying each other! Read your Bible very well.
God bless you today!
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I am wise. I am focused on the things of God. I am not confused
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord, teach me to be wise
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY 1 Corinthians 7:5 (AMP)Do not refuse and deprive and defraud each other [ of your due marital rights ], except perhaps by mutual consent for a time, so that you may devote yourselves unhindered to prayer. But afterwards resume marital relations, lest Satan tempt you [ to sin ] through your lack of restraint of sexual desire.
Marriage is one institution you will never stop improving. No matter how old you are, you never grow too old of getting better at your marriage.
In fact, it is said that like wine, it gets better and sweeter the older it gets. I think it is true. The marriage goes through different stages and like a child you have to be patient with your marriage.
It requires a lot of work, a lot of sowing into the marriage. The formative years of the marriage are the most critical of all. Those years in a marriage which comes with so much labor and hard work.
Those years, you are still trying to understand yourselves; where the differences in temperaments and the male/female differences had to be mastered, where your spouse’s weaknesses really show, where you get pissed up by your spouse’s weaknesses, and where his strength can put you off, rather than celebrate his strength.
You may be at this critical stage in your marriage. I want to encourage you to hold on and be patient.
What God has joined together, let no man put asunder, is what the bible says. Make sure no matter what, you keep on improving on your marriage.
Never grow weary of improving on your marriage. Never grow weary of doing those things you know will improve your marriage. Don’t stop talking. Don’t stop being loving. Don’t stop being tender and kind.
Don’t stop helping your wife achieve her dreams. Don’t stop meeting her needs. Never stop treating her in a special way.
Never stop being a helper. Help him fulfill his dreams. Be romantic. Make him feel like a king. Don’t stop praying. Never stop talking to God about your marriage.
Your marriage is yours to bring the best out of it. It is yours to work out until the beauty therein appears.
God is waiting on you. Heaven believes in you to make it work. So make it work.
God bless your marriage.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I love my spouse
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord, help me to improve on my marriage
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Php 2:13 (KJV) For it is God which worketh in you both to will and to do of his good pleasure.
How To Make Progress In Your Marriage. Your past is your past because it happened in your ‘yesterday’. That yesterday could be 20 years, 30 days, 12 years and it could be a day ago. It becomes our past the moment we consciously put it behind us.
The past before our marriage too has to be dealt with in this manner. These include past relationships, past habits, those friends you used to have late night hang out with. Any thing that you know will be detrimental to your new status as a married man or woman.
The pains, hurts, challenges, shortcomings and weights of yesterday must be laid at the feet of the cross of Jesus. If we must experience the marriage that God has in mind for us.
Some people are holding so many people in unforgiveness. Some wives are holding so many people in their minds. Even people who they have no business holding in unforgiveness. Some are unfruitful because of holding unto the past.
In your marriage, you have to let the past go. The past is too heavy a weight to carry with your today. Your spouse will offend you not on purpose most of the time. But the onus is on you to let go of the past.
We must learn to embrace the truth of how to let go of the past like the prodigal son did.
And when he came to himself, he said, How many hired servants of my father’s have bread enough and to spare, and I perish with hunger! – Luk 15:17
The Bible says, he came to himself. We must come to ourselves every now and then about our past hurts and offense.
And he arose, and came to his father. But when he was yet a great way off, his father saw him, and had compassion, and ran, and fell on his neck, and kissed him. – Luk 15:20
He arose, he took step in dealing with his past. He didn’t leave it as an intent, he did something, he took action.
Until you take action to deal with your past, don’t expect God to grant you the freedom He has in store for only those who let go of the past.
But the father said to his servants, Bring forth the best robe, and put it on him; and put a ring on his hand, and shoes on his feet: – Luk 15:22
May God help us to let go of our past in Jesus name.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY My past does not slow me down
PRAYERS FOR THE DAY Oh Lord, heal me from my past
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Marriage is honourable in all, and the bed undefiled: but whoremongers and adulterers God will judge. – Heb 13:4 (KJV)
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Put the above points to use.
Now that you are married, all your attempt should be to make your marriage worthwhile. You want the singles out there to look at your marriage as what they will love their marriage to like. Your marriage should be an inspiration and a model to both married and the singles.
When I mean deepening your relationship, I don’t mean reading your bible for more hours, going to church for more hours, and certainly not screaming in tongues all over the house. I also don’t mean being in more activities in church, going for evangelism and being more active in church.
Even though all these are good in themselves, they don’t show you have a deep relationship with God. Deepening your relationship with God has to do with having conversations with God that are honest, sincere and vulnerable. You could be doing all the motions and not have a real relationship with the Father.
These heartfelt communications with God is a heart to heart thing, where despite God knowing you through and through, you tell him who you really are. You tell him where it really hurts, you tell him how desperately you need him, how you will fall flat on your face if He does show up. This is bearing yourself before Him openly without hiding anything. Naked and not being ashamed
It is like when you see your life like a big house with several rooms and you open up all the rooms for God to be involved and come in. When you don’t treat God like a guest who is only allowed into the sitting room, don’t get official with God.
God wants to be our God and Father who want to be involved in our everyday activities. David knew God. He knew him as Shepherd, as a high tower, a rock, a defender etc He had a deeper relationship with God than most people.
Having this relationship with God is very important because this relationship will help you in relating better with your spouse. You would be used to open communication and conversations with your spouse. You learn to appreciate your spouse, to be vulnerable with them, develop intimacy and express gratitude for every little thing they do. There will be no hidden secrets kept from your spouse. You won’t hide your deepest feelings. You will say it as you are thinking about it.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I am deepening my relationship with God
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Ask for the grace to stay with the word
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Josh 1:8[NET]This law scroll must not leave your lips! You must memorize it day and night so you can carefully obey all that is written in it. Then you will prosper and be successful.
We started looking at the topic of what every husband must do to their wives a few days back. We’ll conclude on this topic today…
5. She wants you to know that she expects that you give yourself to her.
This has to do with sacrifice. The husband must be ready and willing to sacrifice for his wife. He must sacrifice emotionally, financially, spiritually, or socially. A wife that sees and knows that she has a sacrificing husband will go to any length to submit to her husband.
Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it; – Eph 5:25 (KJV)
And to the husbands, you are to demonstrate love for your wives with the same tender devotion that Christ demonstrated to us, his bride. For he died for us, sacrificing himself – Eph 5:25 (TPT)
And that is how husbands ought to love their wives. They’re really doing themselves a favor—since they’re already “one” in marriage. – Ephesians 5:28 (MSG)
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6. She wants to be sanctified by you
Sanctify – Greek – to make holy, purify or consecrate; to venerate:
A wife needs her husband to sanctify her, to through communication, make her what he wants her to be. She needs the husband to talk to her all of the time because she thrives on his words.
That he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word, – Eph 5:26 (KJV)
Christ’s love makes the church whole. His words evoke her beauty. Everything he does and says is designed to bring the best out of her, – Eph 5:26 (MSG)
All that he does in us is designed to make us a mature church for his pleasure, until we become a source of praise to him—glorious and radiant, beautiful and holy, without fault or flaw. Husbands have the obligation of loving and caring for their wives the same way they love and care for their own bodies, for to love your wife is to love your own self. – Eph 5:27-28 (TPT)
Let’s ensure we put these points to work.
God bless our marriage
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I choose to honor my wife in all things
PRAYER FOR THE DAY I nullify every activity of the devil over my family.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Husbands, you in turn must treat your wives with tenderness, viewing them as feminine partners who deserve to be honored, for they are co-heirs with you of the “divine grace of life,” so that nothing will hinder your prayers. -1Pe 3:7 (TPT)
Marriage is honourable in all, and the bed undefiled: but whoremongers and adulterers God will judge. – Heb 13:4 (KJV)
Marriage is an institution that has existed for thousands of years. It’s a union between two people who commit themselves to one another in the most intimate and personal way possible. The fact that it’s lasted this long suggests there is something about marriage itself that we value. But what, exactly?
Here are a few thoughts on what makes a good marriage.
A good marriage is based on respect
A good marriage is based on respect. Respect is a two-way street. It means that each partner respects the other person’s feelings and opinions, as well as their own.
This doesn’t mean that couples are never at odds with one another. Conflict is inevitable in any healthy relationship, but it should never be allowed to escalate into disrespect of one another.
The partners need to be open to speaking frankly with one another, while also listening attentively to one another and understanding the other person’s perspective or point of view.
Communication is key
It sounds very cliché, but it’s true: communication is key to achieving a good marriage. You have to talk to each other and work on the problems together.
There’s nothing worse than being married and not knowing what your spouse feels like because they don’t talk to you.
One of the most important aspects of a successful marriage is good communication.
There are many ways to communicate, but it’s particularly important for both parties to share their feelings and thoughts with one another.
For example, if one partner feels neglected and begins to withdraw from the relationship, it’s vital that they tell the other person how they feel.
Communication creates understanding and can help prevent problems before they escalate.
To have a good marriage, you need to be committed
The commitment is the key ingredient for a good marriage. Successful marriages are about two people who are willing to commit to one another and work together through the good times and bad times.
It’s also so important that both partners are committed to the relationship. If one person isn’t committed, then it could doom the marriage from the start.
A good marriage isn’t perfect
The first thing to keep in mind about marriage is that it’s not perfect. Even when two people are deeply committed to one another, there will be times where you disagree and times where you might feel unhappy. But with a good marriage, these disagreements are just part of the process.
In fact, research suggests that a marriage can grow stronger after a disagreement has taken place because the couple knows they have each other’s back. This type of relationship is better able to withstand the inevitable challenges life throws at it.
Marriage is work
Marriage is work. It’s not just a piece of paper you sign to make it valid. Marriage takes commitment and sacrifice – but the rewards are worth it.
You have to make time for one another
Marriage is all about commitment, and making time for one another is a big part of it. Too many couples put everything else in their lives ahead of their significant others. That’s not what marriage is about! You need to make time for your spouse or you will lose them.
Love is also an important aspect of a good marriage. If you don’t love each other, get divorced. Marriage should be about more than just living together and having kids. It should be about loving each other unconditionally and doing whatever you can to make the other person happy.
Lastly, take care of yourself as well as your spouse, do things that make you happy without feeling guilty!
This will help ensure that your marriage lasts longer because it won’t feel like a burden or obligation anymore.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY My marriage is a blessing
PRAYERS FOR THE DAY Oh Lord, do a miracle in my marriage today.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Marriage is honourable in all, and the bed undefiled: but whoremongers and adulterers God will judge. – Heb 13:4 (KJV)
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Put the above points to use.
