Winning Romantically!

Winning Romantically!

Reading Time: 2 minutes

Winning Romantically!

This is the final part of the series I started two days back. If you missed them, find them below.

Now, the final part!

4. I am sorry. I win.

Nothing grows romantic love like being quick to forgive. When we see that we are drifting away from our sweet spot, forgiveness does the magic. Notwithstanding who is at fault. Just taking the initiative to say ‘I’m sorry’ first does the trick. It is maturity. Say sorry first, and you win.

Whenever you swallow your pride for the sake of growing your romantic love, you win.

As singles, forgiveness is a constant in a relationship. Practice and learn forgiving the one you love. Don’t count scores. Your flesh will want to pay back evil for evil, tit for tat. Learn to be more like Christ. Let your romantic love grow to be more patient and kind, gentle, not boastful, not envious.

In marriage, the Lord warns us never to allow strife.

I think it is in marriage that most offense happens. Your spouse will step on your toes and still justify their actions.

Opposites truly attract, but with time, they begin to repel. Don’t let animosity fester. Apologize when your spouse is angry at you. Little things may anger your spouse; don’t rationalize, don’t be logical about how or why he/she should be angry, just apologize.

An apology is not about who is wrong but about having feelings for the one who is pained.

5. Appreciation

These two words, ‘thank you,’ grow your romantic love towards each other. It shows your sensitivity to the needs of your partner to be appreciated.

As singles, never take your partner for granted. This understanding is very necessary if you want your romantic love to grow in a healthy way and not be stunted.

Remember that it is a privilege for your partner to be nice, kind, good, forgiving, hardworking, thoughtful, neat, punctual, and the list of good virtues and qualities goes on and on.

Appreciate whatever good you see and recognize in your partner. When it comes to looking at their good qualities, look at it with a magnifying lens. Don’t let their good deeds be little in your eyes.

Remember, whatever you appreciate, appreciates. Whatever you don’t appreciate, depreciates.

As couples, make appreciation a big deal. Celebrate your spouse for the simplest things. Never take them for granted. 

God bless you!




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Growing Romantic Love As Singles and Couples

Growing Romantic Love As Singles and Couples

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Growing Romantic Love As Singles and Couples

It is very true that opposites attract, so it’s not out of place to have one partner more romantic than the other.

Even though romance is a feeling, it can be properly expressed in a decent way, especially in relationships, noting that there is a way to treat your unmarried partner. Like my Pastor said, you are a male by birth but become a gentleman by choice and by learning. So, you also become a lady by choice. There is a proper way to treat each other when you are in love and an improper way to treat each other when in a relationship.

Someone might say, we don’t have to be romantic in a relationship; we have to be all spiritual, so we don’t end up in fornication.

Yes, a lot of caution has to be put in place in order to honor God in your relationship. However, romantic love should not be totally thrown out the window.

Let’s see what romantic love is.

Romance or romantic love can be defined as a feeling of love for, or a strong attraction towards, another person, and the courtship behaviors undertaken by an individual to express those overall feelings and resultant emotions.

As singles, we teach to be courteous and put the brakes on romantic love so it doesn’t get out of hand. Like the Bible says in the Song of Songs:

Song of Songs 8:4 NIV [4] Daughters of Jerusalem, I charge you: Do not arouse or awaken love until it so desires.

There should be a proper blend between being spiritual and being romantic. Being romantic has nothing to do with being sexual. As a single guy, you can treat your partner with so much respect, honor, and courtesy, and that’s being romantic.

Married couples, you have all the license to express love in the most romantic ways without applying the brakes because you are married. Now is not the time to take your spouse for granted because he/she is now yours. Still maintain that strong feeling of love and attractiveness to one another.

5 Ways to Grow Your Romantic Love

  1. Understand their love language and speak it.

Singles, try and discover your partner’s love language and speak it. Couples, continue to express and speak your spouse’s love language in every way you can. Build on what you discovered about them when you were in courtship.

2. No love without giving

Some singles say, giving is not my thing, or we are not married yet, how can I give her/him gifts? It is abnormal to be in a relationship for a year and not to have given each other anything. It is not only ladies that should receive gifts; guys too should be given gifts. You show you care about someone when you give gifts to them.

In marriage, the gifts should continue and never cease. This is not about whether he/she really likes gifts. Everybody likes gifts. You express your love in gifts, not just in thoughts but in actions. The gifts don’t have to be expensive or elaborate, even though there’s nothing wrong with, once in a while, maybe on special occasions like a birthday or wedding anniversary, getting your spouse an expensive gift. It is the gesture and thoughtfulness in gifts that makes them a good way to express romantic love.

I will stop here and continue tomorrow. Stay blessed.




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Dating Dynamics For Singles and Couples 

Dating Dynamics For Singles and Couples 

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Dating Dynamics For Singles and Couples 

Let’s talk about something we all think about at some point: the journey from dating to saying “I do.” Whether you’re swiping right, already in a relationship, married, or just curious, you will learn something new today! 

Dating Days 

So, you’re dating. It’s like being on an adventure where you’re getting to know your partner. What makes them laugh, what dreams they’re chasing, and yeah, even what annoys them? Let me warn you, however, that you will never truly be able to know everything about them until you are MARRIED!

  1. Exploration Time: Think of dating as your exploration mission. You’re learning about each other’s past, what you believe in, and what you both want down the road.
  2. Talking It Out: Communication is key. It’s all about being real and honest with each other and building a strong foundation for whatever comes next. Talk about everything! 
  3. You Do You: It’s crucial to keep being yourself while you’re part of a duo. Balancing “me” and “we” is the real deal. Do not lose your identity because you are in love.
  4. Dealing with Disagreements: Too many disagreements? Normal. How you tackle these moments can make or break your future together.

Taking the Leap

Getting married isn’t just about food and parties. It’s like leveling up in a game where you commit to tackle all of life’s levels together.

1. Deep Connections: Once you’re married, you share more, support more, and get each other on a deeper level. Your destinies become wedged together!

2. Money Talks: From who’s paying for dinner to saving for a dream vacation money matters start to shift once you’re married. Most quarrels emanate from money issues. It is good to settle in this area. 

3. New Daily Life: It will no longer be just you, but now the two of you. You move from being selfish to selfless in other to be a good spouse!

After the “I Do”

Marriage is about growing on what you’ve already built, diving deeper into knowing and supporting each other.

  1. Be Committed: Marriage means you’re in it together, come what may, with a stronger sense of commitment.
  2. Deeper Chit-Chats: As life changes, the way you talk and connect evolves too. You must learn to be open, naked and not ashamed.
  3. More Than Lovey-Dovey: Intimacy goes beyond the physical; it’s about connecting on all levels, being each other’s rock. Be there for yourselves, in the bedroom and out of the bedroom
  4. Be on the same Page: You’ll face challenges, sure, but you’ll do it together, which only makes your bond stronger. One will chase a thousand, two will chase ten thousand!

Keep Dating! 

Don’t let the flames of romance die out. Keeping the love alive is key to a happy marriage.

  1. Date Nights: Keep dating each other, even after you’re married. It keeps things fun and fresh.
  2. Talk the Talk: Keep the conversation going. Talk about your dreams, fears, and everything in between. The moment you stonewall, the wall is broken down and the devil will come in!
  3. Support Squad: Support each other’s goals and dreams. It’s you two and Jesus against the world and the devil, remember?
  4. Shake Things Up: Try new things together. It keeps the excitement alive. Be creative. Fight boredom. Do something new.

From dating to marriage, it’s about enjoying the journey together, through the ups and downs, and maintaining your joy all along the way! 




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Help for the Abused-Part 2

Help for the Abused-Part 2

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Help for Abuse In Marriage – Part 2

We have established that a good number of children of God cope with one form of abuse in their relationships or marriages. This is not meant to be so. Jesus Christ paid the price on the cross for me and you to enjoy a blissful marriage. It is the devil that is the thief that comes to steal, kill, and destroy.

However, if we can labour in the word of God, attend to God’s word, give it the needed attention, meditate on it, and confess it just like Psalm 1 instruct, we will be like a well-watered garden in our relationships and marriage. 

Psalm 1:2-3 ESV   but his delight is in the law of the Lord, and on his law he meditates day and night. [3] He is like a tree planted by streams of water that yields its fruit in its season, and its leaf does not wither. In all that he does, he prospers.

God’s word promises us we will prosper in all that we do including in our relationships and marriages.

Whatever we see in the world, we can see it in our world.

So let’s delve into God’s word to see what He promises us. I have carefully written out confessions for every married person and for singles not enjoying bliss in their marriage and relationships.

These confessions are based on Ephesians 5:18-30

Father, I thank you because I am continually being filled with the Holy Spirit. I walk not according to the dictates of my flesh but according to the dictates and desires of the spirit. My thoughts are filled with godly thoughts. I have a merry heart, I am always singing and making melody in my heart onto God. I am always full of thanksgiving. I thank God for my spouse/ partner. I am grateful.

We are submissive to one another out of reverence for Christ. 

As singles, take this confession, I thank you Lord for this relationship. As a lady, I give myself to learning how to eventually submit. I am gracious and I grow in my relationship with the Lord.

As a guy, I practice unconditional love. I learn from the Lord how He loved not in a selfish way but in a godly way. I don’t desecrate her body but respect her as a child of the most high God. We put God first in our relationship.

Father, I thank you because I am continually being filled with the Holy Spirit. I walk not according to the dictates of my flesh but according to the dictates and desires of the spirit. My thoughts are filled with Godly thoughts. I have a merry heart, I am always singing and making melody in my heart onto God. I am always full of thanksgiving. I thank God for my spouse/ partner. I am grateful.

As a wife, I submit myself to my husband just as I submit to the Lord. Having this understanding that just as Christ is the head of the church, my husband is my head. I submit to my husband in all things irrespective of how I feel. My submission is in obedience to God and He will defend me. I graciously make my opinion known to him but allow him to have the last say. I recognize that anything that has two heads is a monster. I am not afraid to submit to my husband but I trust God to work in him.  I am a God-fearing wife. I take everything to God in prayer.

As a husband, I love my wife just as Christ loved the Church and gave Himself up for her. Just as Jesus was humble and died for the church so I am willing to die for my wife. I give up my rights as the head and become a servant leader. This I do to make my wife holy, better, smarter, blossom, and thrive, this I do by following the scriptures. I present her to myself radiant. Labouring in prayers for her to be a helpful meet indeed for me. I help to bring her to maturity by investing in her spiritually, mentally, and emotionally and exchanging her weakness for the strength that is in Christ.

As a husband, I love my wife as my own body because I recognize that when I love my wife, I am loving myself. I nourish and cherish my wife with love, attention, and affection. Jesus has shown me by example how to love my wife unconditionally. I leave my ideologies or the ways and methods I learned from my background and embrace the new ways Christ shows me.

Our marriages and relationships are blissful. Our lives are full of the Lord’s blessings because we give no place to strife. We deeply love ourselves and God is revealing to us new ways to submit and love ourselves so help us, God.

Be diligent in taking this confession and see the blessings thereof.

Imagine if you take this confession every day for the rest of this year.

God bless you




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Help for Abusive Relationships and Marriage

Help for Abusive Relationships and Marriage

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Help for Abusive Relationships and Marriage

Abuse in relationships and marriage is the most common cause of separation and divorce in marriage.

As Singles, you should watch out for signs of abuse and be courageous enough to take the necessary steps. 

First, let’s look at the meaning of abuse.

Abuse means treating a loved one or partner with violence, disrespect, cruelty, harm, or force. When someone treats their partner in any of these ways, it’s called an abusive relationship. Abuse in a relationship can be physical, sexual, verbal, financial, or emotional. Or it could be all of these.

In an abusive relationship or marriage, it takes a positive mindset and courage to confront the abuser. Having healthy self-esteem will also help to know that you are not to be abused but loved and cherished. No one should be a victim, whether male or female.

When a partner is showing signs of abuse it is not alright to ignore it. An abuser in relationships will be an abuser in marriage.

There are many reasons for being an abusive partner, a major cause is a dysfunctional background. Most people who abuse their partner have been abused and they usually have a deep-seated emotional issue or immaturity.

In an abusive marriage, the husband or wife has a power imbalance and uses manipulation, intimidation, threats, and physical or emotional violence to control the other.

Abuse in relationships and marriage is often characterized by extreme jealousy, possessiveness, and a lack of respect for the other partner’s boundaries. 

A lot of marriages go through abuse of various kinds and different degrees. When violence and physical abuse are involved, a professional therapist must be sought.

The use of scriptures to pray and make daily declarations and confessions is also known to get amazing results. 

Declaring the word and speaking the Word over the abuser helps in rewiring the brain.

Genesis 1:1-2 (KJV)  In the beginning God created the heaven and the earth. And the earth was without form, and void; and darkness was upon the face of the deep. And the Spirit of God moved upon the face of the waters.

God spoke His Word to a situation that was without form and void. You too can speak to that situation.

Singles should not go on to marry a partner who is already showing serious signs of abuse.

I will end here this morning.

God bless you.




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